I believe that a lot of women make it hard for themselves...not to mention for men (date, married)
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The two premises of your sentence contradict one another. That's a two-for-one, congrats!
So women are not supposed to approach men, but they are not supposed to respond to guys who approach them in public. (And why do you imply I'm a STRANGE guy?)
So how would they go about starting a relationship with a guy then?
Now that I think of it, perhaps your viewpoint sums up the problem. Women are not taught properly how to respond to social interactions with men.
Look, if you're just going insult me, then I'd appreciate it if you got of the thread. If you have something insightful to add, then please continue.
You have missed the point entirely.
Most women simply do not contact a stranger, it isn't safe. Women can start a relationship with someone they know in their circle of friends, but not a complete stranger on the street.
Women are taught (hopefully), to keep themselves safe. I think most women respond pretty adequately to social interactions with men, but not in the context you are referring to.
Most women simply do not contact a stranger, it isn't safe. Women can start a relationship with someone they know in their circle of friends, but not a complete stranger on the street.
Women are taught (hopefully), to keep themselves safe. I think most women respond pretty adequately to social interactions with men, but not in the context you are referring to.
What comes first, Djuna, the chicken or the egg?
Keep in mind, the guy in your circle of friends wasn't always in your circle of friends. At one point, he, too, was a stranger. This furthers my point in that you're excluding a lot of potentially good men from getting near you. Furthermore, how do you decide if a stranger is allowed to be in your circle of friends? He is a stranger, after all.
You come across as extremely sensitive to this issue? Are you in a dangerous area or are you the type that's isolated from people and just assume the worst in them because of all the scary stories you hear about in the news?
The past few weeks, I decided to experiment and observe relations between the two sexes based on some of the threads I've read here and also contributed to.
What I did?
I threw caution to the wind and approached several women while I was out and about or via the Internet. My criteria wasn't well-defined, but it followed a particular pattern. These women WERE NOT drop dead gorgeous types. Rather, they were more your Plain Janes who seemed to have a sunny disposition from what I could observe.
I initiated conversation with all of them as they generally did not act as the pursuer. I didn't use any corny pick up lines. It was just casual conversation. As an example, I told one girl that "she seemed like she was a very happy and spirited person" and that, "I admired that". After she confirmed that she was single, I handed her a piece of paper with my name and number on it and told her to give me a call sometime if she'd like to meet up. That's just one example, but most follow a similar script.
Results
I received little to no follow up responses from these girls. Look, I'm not Brad Pitt and I can take pride in saying that I am an average looking guy (blonde hair, blue eyes). I think I have a pretty good personality. I'm pretty laid back and not at all an arrogant jerk. I'm college educated and I have a pretty decent job. That is supposedly what women claim to want in a man, but I'm not seeing a positive reception to this as far as these most recent encounters go.
As far as what I might be doing wrong, I do not know. The women who I've spoken to have given me no reason to believe that they are not interested in me. They smile, they reciprocate in the conversation, they seem friendly and interested. But after that initial interaction, all things seem to fall apart and vanish as if they never happened.
Theories
I believe that either A) girls have too high of expectations for their men or B) they tend to shy away from advances, thus losing out on an opportunity to engage in some form of intimage relationship (friends, bf, etc) with a person of the opposite sex.
I tend not to think of women as visual creatures, or at least not to the extent that men are, but perhaps I have been wrong about this. As I mentioned above, I'm not a super stud of a man. I'm an average guy with a good personality, an education, and a decent job. Is the fact that I didn't come straight off a Paris runway turning women away from me? That is yet TBD.
I also tend to think that women care more about a man's personality than his pocket book. Unfortunately, I saw nothing to indicate that this was an issue in my case. I'm a pretty casual, conservative dresser, so there was no way for the women to know how well off I was financially.
I felt that, in most of my trials, the women tended to be pretty shy and astonished when they were approached. This leads me to believe that maybe many of them just don't know how to respond to a guy's advances. If this is the case, I beg to know why. Especially when you see these women on forums or craigslist or what have you complaining about how hard it is to find a date. I don't understand how that can be a problem, as I will explain why below.
Conclusions
Though I had my suspicions, I feel these opinions and views about women are being reaffirmed. As far as dating goes, I do believe that men have it SO MUCH MORE DIFFICULT than women have it. Women all along the appearance-spectrum are approached on a far more frequent basis than men. When you're talking about average men and women, it is even more so the case that women have it that much easier than men.
Mind you, I am not referring to casual sexual encounters. I am referring to opportunities to start a relationship. Women seem to be far less receptive to men's advances than men are to women's advances. I feel like they are excluding a lot of potentially good men to be part of their lives.
Again, this re-establishes my loosely-held view that women are exluding a lot of potentially good men from their lives. This view isn't only based on my experience, but from the experiences of others whom I know personally and from afar.
Thoughts/Opinions???
Do you guys generally agree with this brief assessment? Let's not make this a sex bashing thread. Instead, I'd really like to get to the nuts and bolts of this issue and see what ideas or suggestions come out of it.
Im a dude...I dont think YOU did enough work. Not hating on ya, I just feel you should chase them all a lil more and see which ones CHOOSE you. You may get 3 or 4 of them to like you, but if I was a chick I wouldnt call ya dude, cause Id think you thought I was easy or I was not worth the effort. Hope that makes sense.
Keep in mind, the guy in your circle of friends wasn't always in your circle of friends. At one point, he, too, was a stranger.
You come across as extremely sensitive to this issue? Are you in a dangerous area or are you the type that's isolated from people and just assume the worse in them because of all the scary stories you hear about?
I'm 47 years old, I've been around and I am most certainly not in any dangerous area. I have traveled, often alone. I am not scared of people. I am however, wary of people's intent and calling some guy who gave me his phone number, whom I have never met in my life, is utterly irresponsible.
Maybe you're too young to really understand these things because you are intent on trying to prove me wrong.
At least 3 other women have responded in the same vein so I know I am not alone.
Im a dude...I dont think YOU did enough work. Not hating on ya, I just feel you should chase them all a lil more and see which ones CHOOSE you. You may get 3 or 4 of them to like you, but if I was a chick I wouldnt call ya dude, cause Id think you thought I was easy or I was not worth the effort. Hope that makes sense.
Okay, so what is the alternative suggestion? Follow them around?
I'm with LM on the first point - I never intiate contact or call the guy. I leave that to him.
But probably because I live in small state I would consider, slowly and with screening () going out with a guy I met on the street if I were interested.
Most guys here will give you all kinds of info (full name, school they went to, what families they are tied to) - because everyone knows everyone, or knows someone who knows them....
I'm 47 years old, I've been around and I am most certainly not in any dangerous area. I have traveled, often alone. I am not scared of people. I am however, wary of people's intent and calling some guy who gave me his phone number, whom I have never met in my life, is utterly irresponsible.
Maybe you're too young to really understand these things because you are intent on trying to prove me wrong.
At least 3 other women have responded in the same vein so I know I am not alone.
Okay, I've read your view and I've considered it. You're already insinutating that I'm too young to understand. Thanks for the backhanded insult. I'm gonna do the grown up thing now. Moving on...
The two premises of your sentence contradict one another. That's a two-for-one, congrats!
So women are not supposed to approach men, but they are not supposed to respond to guys who approach them in public. (And why do you imply I'm a STRANGE guy?)
So how would they go about starting a relationship with a guy then?
Now that I think of it, perhaps your viewpoint sums up the problem. Women are not taught properly how to respond to social interactions with men.
Look, if you're just going insult me (the STRANGE implication), then I'd appreciate it if you got of the thread. If you have something insightful to add, then please continue.
Z3nith cmon man...women or women. Its a mans job to chase the one we want. Nothing wrong with that. Women are afraid of their own shadows lol and in this day and age for good reason. I think you should chat these women up a little more, or a least try to get them in rable mood so you can just cruise. Once you get a woman talking talking talking, you dont even have to drive anymore. You become Micheal Knight.
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Uhhh
) going out with a guy I met on the street if I were interested.
