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I'm curious as to what this means from both sides (Women & Men). I'm specifically interested in hearing from the 25-40 crowd but please, all feel free to join in.
What does a person really mean when they say this?
Why would a person say this to thier SO?
Have at it!
It's an excuse for not taking the time to do something special or sweet JUST to please your loved one.....If he's already your SO...he wouldn't have to tell you this...you would know...unless he changed and in that case.....once again....it's just an excuse for not taking the time to do something special or sweet, just to please your loved one.
I'm the one in my relationship who not inherently romantic. It's just the way I'm wired. I think flowers, chocolates, and long walks on the beach are anti-romantic because they are such cliches.
But it depends on your definition of romance.. for me it's the little things. I take my SO into account for almost any decision, I pick things up, and cook things I know he will like.... and he knows that's how I show romance. I know my SO would like more traditional romance.. so I try.. but he knows I don't... so he tries.
I guess if I wanted more romance, I would just invite my SO to go do something romantic..
I had a friend who was hooked on the "romance" of whatever relationship she was in and would frequently ask her BF why he didn't send her flowers. He subsequently did. I can't understand why that made her happy.
I'm the one in my relationship who not inherently romantic. It's just the way I'm wired. I think flowers, chocolates, and long walks on the beach are anti-romantic because they are such cliches.
But it depends on your definition of romance.. for me it's the little things. I take my SO into account for almost any decision, I pick things up, and cook things I know he will like.... and he knows that's how I show romance. I know my SO would like more traditional romance.. so I try.. but he knows I don't... so he tries.
I guess if I wanted more romance, I would just invite my SO to go do something romantic..
I had a friend who was hooked on the "romance" of whatever relationship she was in anSod would frequently ask her BF why he didn't send her flowers. He subsequently did. I can't understand why that made her happy.
So what happens if I showed up out of the blue and made fondu? I have no idea where you are, but I just showed up and was like "I'mma make some fondu!" And I had the crazy Einstein hair and stuff. Would you get all romanced with that? LOL
I lived a lifetime without romance so I now value it more than many people do. The person I married firmly believed all that love crap ended when you got married. Too bad he didn't tell me in advance...
Thanks for this thread. I don't think I have ever sat down and just thought about all the romantic things my SO does. He is very romantic and I'm still learning. I KNOW I hit the jackpot!
Every time he walks by there's a touch or a kiss.
He brings me coffee in bed and kisses me every morning.
Once or twice a year, I'll find a sign on the door... "Naked Man in Kitchen". Or "Proceed Directly to the Bedroom".
He writes me love letters. And music, and poetry.
He reads to me.
He packs my lunch every day.
We cook and shop together. Plan meals, etc. He is interested and wants to take an active part in our home life.
He bought a pair of sexy underwear I admired once(for him, not me).
Once when I went out of town, he met me at the airport with a dozen roses. And he also had my car detailed as a surprise.
He listens to me when I talk. He actually hears what I say. He is interested in what I think and feel.
He honestly believes I am totally beautiful.
He plays cards or Scrabble with me. And he wants to learn how to play bridge because I enjoy it.
He cleans and picks up without being asked.
We have been together for almost 3 years now and I can count on one hand the number of times he hasn't opened a door/car door for me.
He opens my drink before he hands it to me.
When we walk anywhere, he always is closest to traffic. He had to explain that one to me... And he prefers for me to hold his hand or take his arm.
He send me e-cards.
He seats me at dinner. Always when we are out, but sometimes at home too.
He loves to snuggle up together and watch a move, a TV program, or just listen to the radio.
When I come home, he gets up to greet me.
He makes no secret of his feelings for me and that he wants US to continue and just keep on getting better.
And this is just a partial list. He's not perfect and he has his issues. But he has manners and is a gentleman in the best sense of the word. At the same time, he is the most masculine man I have ever known. I guess the secret is that he is comfortable with being a man. He doesn't have anything to prove. He knows who he is.
I'm not as good at this as he is. But I appreciate every one of these things and I notice them every day. I'm trying to improve and it's a fun, amazing, wonderful, project!
I'm curious as to what this means from both sides (Women & Men). I'm specifically interested in hearing from the 25-40 crowd but please, all feel free to join in.
What does a person really mean when they say this?
Why would a person say this to thier SO?
Have at it!
Um...some people are not into the hoochy smoochy lovey dovey stuff. They are more serious and hold their cards closer to their vest. But they can also be the most loyal, loving people. You're just not going to get hearts and violins.
I think that romantic stuff is on a spectrum. I don't think it affects a person's ability to love or reflects on the depth of their love. I tend to be closer to the middle, but more to the mushy side. I know some people who are so mushy that it almost seems insincere.
The issue is...can you deal with it? My wife is not overly demonstrative. It threw me off for a while (I require lots of attention and petting), but once I figured out what was going on in her head and her style, we were a-ok. I can see some people who want more ooshy gooshy on a more consistent basis having a problem with it.
Just...what can you live with?
To me, love is all my socks lined up in a row in my sock drawer.
I lived a lifetime without romance so I now value it more than many people do. The person I married firmly believed all that love crap ended when you got married. Too bad he didn't tell me in advance...
Thanks for this thread. I don't think I have ever sat down and just thought about all the romantic things my SO does. He is very romantic and I'm still learning. I KNOW I hit the jackpot!
Every time he walks by there's a touch or a kiss.
He brings me coffee in bed and kisses me every morning.
Once or twice a year, I'll find a sign on the door... "Naked Man in Kitchen". Or "Proceed Directly to the Bedroom".
He writes me love letters. And music, and poetry.
He reads to me.
He packs my lunch every day.
We cook and shop together. Plan meals, etc. He is interested and wants to take an active part in our home life.
He bought a pair of sexy underwear I admired once(for him, not me).
Once when I went out of town, he met me at the airport with a dozen roses. And he also had my car detailed as a surprise.
He listens to me when I talk. He actually hears what I say. He is interested in what I think and feel.
He honestly believes I am totally beautiful.
He plays cards or Scrabble with me. And he wants to learn how to play bridge because I enjoy it.
He cleans and picks up without being asked.
We have been together for almost 3 years now and I can count on one hand the number of times he hasn't opened a door/car door for me.
He opens my drink before he hands it to me.
When we walk anywhere, he always is closest to traffic. He had to explain that one to me... And he prefers for me to hold his hand or take his arm.
He send me e-cards.
He seats me at dinner. Always when we are out, but sometimes at home too.
He loves to snuggle up together and watch a move, a TV program, or just listen to the radio.
When I come home, he gets up to greet me.
He makes no secret of his feelings for me and that he wants US to continue and just keep on getting better.
And this is just a partial list. He's not perfect and he has his issues. But he has manners and is a gentleman in the best sense of the word. At the same time, he is the most masculine man I have ever known. I guess the secret is that he is comfortable with being a man. He doesn't have anything to prove. He knows who he is.
I'm not as good at this as he is. But I appreciate every one of these things and I notice them every day. I'm trying to improve and it's a fun, amazing, wonderful, project!
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