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What if he says it was him, then what? You want to hear from his mouth to your ears. It doesn't always happen that way. Wishful thinking, kids wouldn't go that far, and if his ex is that cozy with his phone......WELL THEN?
I know it was him because I did respond and told him that I would call him this weekend because I think its pretty ridiculous that people our age break up via text. You know what he texted back? "That would be fine". I think I was trying to take the high road, but on reflection, why would I call him? It wont make me feel better. The whole year has been all about him.
Me-divorced 15 years, no kids, Him -divorced 3 years and two girls 11 and 13. Horrible relationship with Ex. Compatible on so many levels and we had wonderful times but he is a terrible communicator. Leaves and withdraws when difficulties arise. Thursday he texts that he cant give me the time or comittment I deserve. by TEXT????? Am crushed. What to do? Have been lurking on this site for months and know there are some really insightful people here..
I am sorry that this happened to you but as other posters have mentioned already...He was being honest at the very least...
You stated that you have been with him for one year, correct? And you are both compatible in many ways however he is a horrible communicator and withdraws ( shuts down) when difficulties arise?
Open communication, ongoing dialogue and the ability to talk through difficulties should be a priority in all relationaships...
Granted NOT everyone has these skills but still discussing and coming to an understanding can be done...
It seems as if he knows that this is not in him to do with you and he has been honest enough to tell you...
As far as informing of you of this via text? Why are you surprised? You stated in your initial post that he does not communicate well nor deals with confrontations..and breaking up face to face or even over the phone is a confrontation...It was easier for him to do it over text this way he does not need to deal with questions, or you being upset...
Cowardly? Very much so...
If it is really bugging you, call him and tell him that this matter should have been done over the phone or in person and you thought after one year you deserved at least this...
As far as everything else? This is but one moment in your life AND he is not the only man out there...much luck to you..
Next. Move on. You deserve better, so what do you care? He is a jerk. Throw away in the trash any stuff he left at your house, blow off whatever he has of yours. Get busy, go to the gym, get a new outfit for the holidays, and don't you dare meet him for a drink when he calls.
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
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Cowardly and juvenile. On first impressions, though...
An 11 and 13 year old daughter. Hmmm, how is your relationship with them (if you have any)? Do you know how they feel about the relationship? It's not impossible that did it as more than a prank, but as a very adolescent way of pushing you two apart. At least call, if he did send the text don't let him off the hook that easily. Make it as tough on him as it is as tough on you.
When we first got together, he wanted me to meet his girls right away. I balked and said we needed to to be sure he and I had a good relationship and were solid with each other before we introduce the children into anything. He said I resented his children. I met his girls once. They are delightful. I was never asked again. This sounds so very negative, but what hurts so is that i know he is a good guy in all the ways that matter for him (his girls) but not me.
When we first got together, he wanted me to meet his girls right away. I balked and said we needed to to be sure he and I had a good relationship and were solid with each other before we introduce the children into anything. He said I resented his children. I met his girls once. They are delightful. I was never asked again. This sounds so very negative, but what hurts so is that i know he is a good guy in all the ways that matter for him (his girls) but not me.
Sounds like his energy is directed towards his children and he just isn't in an emotional position to be in a relationship. I would text him back and say something like
"I'm sorry this didn't work out between us, you are right and we are in different stages of life. Good luck in all you do"
Text for text. There is absolutely no need for a phone call or personal visit.
Also try to get your mind off him and call some of your old friends that you haven't had time for in the last year. You may be the same age but you are definatley in two very different stages in life. Next time go for guys that are in your same life stage...no children or grown children. It will be easier.
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What if it was one of his brats, er, kids that did this?
