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This thread just shows how superficial people are. What qualities do they care about? Looks. What about, kindness, love, honesty, integrity, generosity, etc? No wonder people can't find someone, or just end up going through a series of "relationship", marriages, and FWB. After all, what happens when your "one and only" gets old, gets sick, they develop wrickles, age spots, they might limp, grey hair, etc. Gee, people today are just wonderful????????????
This thread is about PHYSICAL turn-offs, and I'm sure you have your own physical turn-off list as well. The OP did say that he is "open to expanding his experiences and overcoming his inbuilt preferences" and many of us are open to do that too. We want to be with someone we find attractive, but we have to be realistic about our standards as well (unless these people have unrealistic standards that they refuse to stretch themselves). Some of us aren't quick to write others off. Like many others, people reject me becuase I'm too short. Oh well.
Theyre just few and far between. I find myself attracting a few guys, but they all seem to just want to 'try out' a tall woman, not actually have a relationship with one.
I love being tall, and if guys don't like it that's their problem
I've found being tall an asset, more so in my later years (college and later). It gave men a conversation starter/something to approach me with.
Many used that "I'd like to climb you!" line, but I didn't read too much into it. I never went out looking to meet someone with a relationship in my mind. I just wanted to dance and maybe talk to a hot or handsome guy if he was lucky.
Biggest turnoffs for me in women: rail thin, I'm talking like you could see bones. I'm sorry, but that's not an attractive feature at all. Even if she says she's trying to be healthy and fit. You can be healthy and fit without having to weigh 75 pounds.
2nd, smoking. She could be a 10, but if she smokes, I'm out.
Yes, Jiftittle, you are correct! I did miss that. However, this thread does show that people put too much emphasis on physical things. Physical things can often be fixed, unless somethings been cut off. People can loose weight, get their teeth fixed, etc. We are entirely too quick to judge. Let's just say someone can't stand someones bad teeth, but everything else is terrific about them. Would you not agree that it would be silly to reject someone who could be a fabulous spouse, that might make you happy for the rest of your life. As I said, besides, teeth can be fixed. Most people are just way too focused on appearances and not on the person inside. Last example, I know a man about 5'4" who married a woman 6'. They've been married for about 50 years, very happy, their height never made a difference with either one. People need to look a little past the cover of the book they're buying.
I am one of those who ascribe to the idea that the way a person presents themselves, since that is one thing within our control, says a lot about their character. I think it is naive to think otherwise.
So mine are set on the superficial that are within our control.
For me:
Like most, severely overweight. Nothing turns me off more than a big round belly!
A sloppy dresser. It takes just as much effort to dress sharply... One leg at a time.
Laziness - TV, lazyboy and beer, nightly.
Bad skin care (hey men... I do think it is important)
Bad stained teeth
Back hair! UGH!!!!
Their home and how they choose to live - messy, untidy, college dorm room at 40.
No urban/city/metro interests
Bitten fingernails... NASTY!
No muscle tone what so ever.
To thin is as much of a turn off as too overweight and goes along with muscle tone. Any one who is into video games.
Facial proportions, height, hair or bald... things like that, which are genetic and beyond their control, I usually do not care.
To say we should not judge a book by its cover is to deny that we do. We all do, industries are built upon that idea. All books have genres and cover art which possesses us to pick them up. It is all about marketing and then if it was worth the investment or not.
That was my point several pages back when I said, "judging who you will and won't date based solely on their looks makes one rather shallow and almost always backfires on a person who wants a substantive relationship. Just sayin'..."
Yes, Jiftittle, you are correct! I did miss that. However, this thread does show that people put too much emphasis on physical things. Physical things can often be fixed, unless somethings been cut off. People can loose weight, get their teeth fixed, etc. We are entirely too quick to judge. Let's just say someone can't stand someones bad teeth, but everything else is terrific about them. Would you not agree that it would be silly to reject someone who could be a fabulous spouse, that might make you happy for the rest of your life. As I said, besides, teeth can be fixed. Most people are just way too focused on appearances and not on the person inside. Last example, I know a man about 5'4" who married a woman 6'. They've been married for about 50 years, very happy, their height never made a difference with either one. People need to look a little past the cover of the book they're buying.
I don't think discussing preferences shows whether or not a person is shallow. Attraction comes naturally, and one cannot help what they are or aren't attracted to. It isn't always a deal breaker either, although some physical characteristics can point to lifestyle choices.
There is nothing wrong with being honest about what you like.
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