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Ever feel like you can't be as hardened and stern as you want to be because you love the other person so much: be it a lover, a mother, a brother or a child?
I can recall several instances when I really needed to drive home a point to someone I loved but I couldn't do it as much as I wanted to because I couldn't bear to have them think... feel bad/sad.
I've found that for me personally...if I have to "harden" and become very "stern" it's only BECAUSE I love that person, and am concerned for them....in fact....I might be a little more harsh towards my own....and if I have to be so stern....then I definately WANT them to feel bad/sad......you're right though....it is hard to be angry at the ones you love.
Aganusn....I agree that being an authoritarian isn't the ONLY way to handle relationships....though, sometimes (especially with children)it can prove to be the only way to (yes) control them.You CAN control people..to some extent......your response to rescuerdeme was veeery stern.
Ever feel like you can't be as hardened and stern as you want to be because you love the other person so much: be it a lover, a mother, a brother or a child?
Aganusn....I agree that being an authoritarian isn't the ONLY way to handle relationships....though, sometimes (especially with children)it can prove to be the only way to (yes) control them.You CAN control people..to some extent......your response to rescuerdeme was veeery stern.
Of course with children, because they're children.....But adults? Unless there are some dependency issues, most adults should want to be individuals.
Ever feel like you can't be as hardened and stern as you want to be because you love the other person so much: be it a lover, a mother, a brother or a child?
I can recall several instances when I really needed to drive home a point to someone I loved but I couldn't do it as much as I wanted to because I couldn't bear to have them think... feel bad/sad.
Tough love can be tough... on the giver.
Thoughts. How do you do it?
Write it out
Put it away
Re-read it when you are not mad.
Edit
You can be stern without being mean. Its easier when you don't use the word "you".
For example:
You make me angry when you: ....
Because you act like: ....
vs.
I feel upset when: ...
Because it makes me feel like: ...
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