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What a surprise: women are human. This isn't news, this is common sense. People need to stop denying biology and stop pretending to be puritans. Expecting to have sex with one person for decades is absolutely ridiculous and is one of the biggest lies next to religion.
Would be interesting with a study that shows how many men in comparison to women that cheat.
(and don't come with the obvious idiotic "takes 2 to cheat" this only applies if both parties are in a relationship to cheat, otherwise only one of the parts have cheated since the other one does not have a person to cheat on)
Studies already show that: over their entire married lives 70% of women will cheat at least once (meaning that they cheat perhaps only once out of 3 marriages, or they cheat all the time in their only one, etc., so on the surface it may be misleading.)
Whereas for men it's 50%, the same as it was back around 1950 when they started doing this poll (versus 20% for women).
It's all in a major study by a prestigious University whose name I have forgotten, I have linked in on several chatrooms in the past.
Women do cheat at a higher rate.
Women cheat because: they are bored/feel unappreciated.
Men cheat most often due to lack of sex (the number one reason today, and it's not just a lack of sex it's the total absence of sex.)
Please note: this does not address cheating in monogamous-non-marriage situations.
Last edited by Doctor Blues; 11-22-2011 at 04:09 AM..
Reason: typos
I'm not sure if the 65% number is accurate or not. But it seems that this was a one sided study. If 65% is true for women I believe the same number is true for men. It's a matter of human behavior and nature, not gender specific.
Actually it is gender specific.
Please read my other reply earlier when I quote stats on cheating by sex.
Studies already show that: over their entire married lives 70% of women will cheat at least once (meaning that they cheat perhaps only once out of 3 marriages, or they cheat all the time in their only one, etc., so on the surface it may be misleading.)
Whereas for men it's 50%, the same as it was back around 1950 when they started doing this poll (versus 20% for women).
It's all in a major study by a prestigious University whose name I have forgotten, I have linked in on several chatrooms in the past.
Women do cheat at a higher rate.
Women cheat because: they are bored/feel unappreciated.
Men cheat most often due to lack of sex (the number one reason today, and it's not just a lack of sex it's the total absence of sex.)
Please note: this does not address cheating in monogamous-non-marriage situations.
"As for the general population, today 32% of men and 21% of women admit to sexual infidelity at some point during the marriage (Tafoya & Spitzberg, 2007)."
Source A (http://csusb.academia.edu/KellyCampbell/Papers/260695/Marriage_Today_Exploring_the_Incongruence_Between_ Beliefs_and_Practices - broken link) Source B
"These factors do not come into play for men who, overall, are 7 percent more likely to cheat than women. The likelihood of a man having had an affair increases with age and reaches a peak when a man is about 55 years old. It then decreases with age. For women, the peak is 45 years old, which the authors say is logical when considering the biological reasons why women cheat." Source
Please read my other reply earlier when I quote stats on cheating by sex.
You actually haven't quoted anything. Not saying you're wrong, but quoting what exactly? A study you can't recall from a university you don't know the name of?
I'm looking at this list from The Kinsey Institute and I'm starting to wonder.
Quote:
Infidelity has been found to be the single most cited cause of divorce in over 150 cultures. (Betzig, 1989)
In western countries, between 25 and 50% of divorcees cite a spouse’s infidelity as the primary cause of the divorce. (Kelly, 1987; Amato, 1997)
Approximately 20-25% of men and 10-15% of women engage in extramarital sex at least once during their marriage. (Laumann, 1994; Wiederman, 1997)
Pregnancy appears to be a time of increased risk of extramarital sex. (Allen, 2005; White, 1982)
Women are less approving than men of sexual justifications for extramarital affairs, preferring emotional reasons such as “falling in love”. (Glass, 1992).
Approximately 50% of divorced men and women reported that there former spouse had engaged in extra-marital sex. For divorced couples, previous participation in extramarital sex showed no effect on post-marital adjustment. (Spanier, 1982).
11% of adults who have ever been married or cohabited have been unfaithful to their partner (Treas & Giesen, 2000).
Infidelity is influenced by many social and demographic factors. All of the following were associated with an increased risk of infidelity: having been part of a couple for a long time; having had a high number of prior sex partners; being male or black; living in a central city; and thinking about sex several times a day (Treas & Giesen, 2000).
Respondents who reported that their relationships were "pretty happy" and "not too happy" were two and four times more likely, respectively, to have reported extramarital sex than respondents who reported that they were "very happy" with their relationships (Atkins et al., 2001).
More than 80% of women and 65 to 85% of men report that they had no partners other than their spouse while they were married (Laumann, Gagnon, Michael, Michaels, 1994).
94% of married men and women had only one sex partner (their spouse) in the past 12 months, 4% had 2-4 partners, and 1% had over 5 partners (Laumann, Gagnon, Michael, Michaels, 1994).
There's a significant difference in percentages between infidelity reports from those that engage in infidelity, which I figure are gathered anonymously to a large degree (tho, not always), and accusations from spouses during divorce proceedings. I wonder if stats of charges are thrown into the mix with actual stats from cheaters.
It is hard for me to believe that 65% of married women cheat, and if that is the case, there are a large number of men who also cheat. It is also hard for me to believe there are women who have written threads on this forum that say "their husband or SO is cheating because he is looking at porn (and thinking)". To me cheating is actually doing the physical act. To Bill Clinton, oral sex wasn't cheating. I say it is whether you are giving or receiving, because you are still an active participant (unless you're asleep). The moral of this story is: keep your lady happy and she won't stray (and if she does, she'll keep her mouth shut).
I think that in a honest relationship in which it is understood to be traditional and monogamous, even watching porn is a form of cheating.
In strict terms - which aren't adhered to as much nowadays and even unfathomable to many - cheating is giving attention to any other sexual channel than your spouse.
I believe monogamy is natural and I believe our human emotions are evidence of such. However, we do have free will, we have choices to make. All of this suggestion that monogamy is not natural and encouraging people to go against what is in their own nature and own best interest as a human is only going to be detrimental on victim individuals and society as a whole. I'd like to see how strikingly marriage success has fallen in correlation with the uprising of this new-age, liberal-type rhetoric that essentially encourages going against our natural instincts. It's about impossible to do though because the women's rights movement rose parallel to all of the other rhetoric and deniers will attribute our cultural flailing to that, totally ignoring other, separate possibilities.
If somebody truly wants monogamy and loyalty, they shouldn't cheat. Even if their spouse never finds out, it will hurt the energy of their relationship and the relationship will suffer as a consequence. The victim spouse will know at an instinctual level.
There really is logic and something to traditional relationships and the rules that go along with them, but fewer and fewer will reap those benefits instead opting for selfish, animalistic, uncultured indulgence.
If monogamy were natural. People wouldn't freakn' cheat.
Yeh...but thank goodness for personal control and civilization. Otherwise we would have people crapping and masturbating in the streets. Go to the monkey exhibit at the zoo. Who wants to live like that?
If monogamy were natural. People wouldn't freakn' cheat.
Then they should make sure their spouse is clear on that well BEFORE marriage.
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