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ya I thought we would work out whatever the problem was and move on.
I'm sorry... Damn, it sounded promising.
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that common thing isn't true though..not all of these guys I speak of are military. I've dated A LOT. some were civilian, some were active duty.
Well, I don't count dating as in eating together once or twice, but most of the relationships appear to be... I'm not repeating this in order to judge you or anything as I have a problem of this nature myself, but it is a common trend.
Well, I don't count dating as in eating together once or twice, but most of the relationships appear to be... I'm not repeating this in order to judge you or anything as I have a problem of this nature myself, but it is a common trend.
ya, he fooled me, as well as all my friends. One of my friends doesn't want to believe this so she's suggesting I wait it out and see if he gets his head out of his as@ in a couple weeks but I told her I'm not wasting any more time on someone who can't figure out who on earth he is, at 28 years old. He said some of the most unintelligent things regarding relationships yesterday. I was in shock as I had never seen this stupidity in anyone before and was quickly turned off, but it doesn't change how much it hurts. This is a man who reads a lot and is always learning, has a supervisory position in the military which requires brains..he's not REALLY an idiot..but he was acting like one.
you're right, there does seem to be a common trend. You know I'm not much of an approacher so these guys are coming to me. I just give them a chance and I either like them or I don't. Most of the one's approaching me have been military. This last one I met online, the rest I've met cause most of my friends are connected to it somehow so they find me. They've even found me at school. Some have been nice, some have not been. I'm seeing that it has nothing to do with their job how they treat me..they just have some issue that gets in the way. I do meet civilian men too me but they also just want one thing or they have some unresolved issues as well.
ya and it makes me want to give up. whats the likelihood that little ol me is gonna find that needle in a haystack? its next to zero.
Use a magnet? All joking aside, haystacks are often filled with nasty things. Bugs. Mice. Bits of garbage. So the problem isn't finding the needle in the haystack, it's filtering all the crap out before you even look.
(this is one of those things that will probably only make sense to me)
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Originally Posted by tegota
Reading a linked post helped me understand the context a little better.
Seems you've primarily been dating military men? I can understand why they're not as open to commitment.
Military men move a lot... yeah, that's understandable. Some of them don't wanna be tied down, others would feel bad for constantly moving.
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Just as a general observation. When males go out to do things, it's more so incidental that they happen to meet a woman. Where women are more likely to go do something or be somewhere in that they're looking for a male.
I don't think I'll have any good advice to offer. Other than it seems wise to re-assess your strategy.
This is a pretty interesting observation.
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Originally Posted by mir86
ya, he fooled me, as well as all my friends. One of my friends doesn't want to believe this so she's suggesting I wait it out and see if he gets his head out of his as@ in a couple weeks but I told her I'm not wasting any more time on someone who can't figure out who on earth he is, at 28 years old. He said some of the most unintelligent things regarding relationships yesterday. I was in shock as I had never seen this stupidity in anyone before and was quickly turned off, but it doesn't change how much it hurts. This is a man who reads a lot and is always learning, has a supervisory position in the military which requires brains..he's not REALLY an idiot..but he was acting like one.
you're right, there does seem to be a common trend. You know I'm not much of an approacher so these guys are coming to me. I just give them a chance and I either like them or I don't. Most of the one's approaching me have been military. This last one I met online, the rest I've met cause most of my friends are connected to it somehow so they find me. They've even found me at school. Some have been nice, some have not been. I'm seeing that it has nothing to do with their job how they treat me..they just have some issue that gets in the way. I do meet civilian men too me but they also just want one thing or they have some unresolved issues as well.
The worst kind... the sneaky fiend. Fooling you into a false sense of security while they're usually looking for their "out." Lame.
Most everyone has issues, though, it's just tht not as many people want to work to fix them.
I have not read the whole thread, but I just want to say, at 25, you are still young and the men your age are still feeling their way too. If I were you, I would probably try a reputable online dating site and carefully screen someone before you meet them. Then you would know their intentions before you start.
I have heard that eharmony is good.
Reading a linked post helped me understand the context a little better.
Seems you've primarily been dating military men? I can understand why they're not as open to commitment.
Then you indicated the civilian were even less interested?
Just as a general observation. When males go out to do things, it's more so incidental that they happen to meet a woman. Where women are more likely to go do something or be somewhere in that they're looking for a male.
I don't think I'll have any good advice to offer. Other than it seems wise to re-assess your strategy.
where I live, its the "chair force" out here. its almost a civilian job..not that I'm downgrading what they do, but even they say its not that hard. This guy wasn't afraid of commitment cause of his job, he's just a commitaphobe. He'll probably be stationed here more than long enough to establish a relationship so that's not even it. For some reason the base here is really hard to get out of so a lot of the guys stay here at least 3 years, some their entire career/term.
yes, civilian men seem less interested. I wish I knew why. When I go out, its to have fun and let loose, not to meet anyone. I'm getting approached..I don't appraoch them..its not my nature to approach. but yes, I'm trying to re-assess my strategy. I tried online as another strategy, and in this town, I found that about 50% of the guys on the site were in the military and for the most part, you knew exactly what they were looking for (same for civilians anyways), and it wasn't a relationship so I don't think I should even try that route again for a long time. I did blow off a guy that I had a good feeling about, who was a civilian and who I wanted to meet, but things were going so good with this other guy, that I didn't feel right about going out with the other one. I wish I would have, he lives right by me so I'm surprised I haven't run into that guy yet. Other than that, there was another guy I met off there who was also a civilian, very good looking but he seemed very bored on our date and had no gentleman manners, other than he paid for it. I was willing to get to know him more but again, no interest on his end. There's a bunch of others I met just out and about, and same thing. I don't know what other strategy I should try with all of that in mind, you know?
ahaha! my issues are increasing. I took time to myself before I got back into things after my ex..I thought it was only fair to the guys I was meeting. But now I feel more messed up cause of all the deceiving so I'm done for a while.
I did blow off a guy that I had a good feeling about, who was a civilian and who I wanted to meet, but things were going so good with this other guy, that I didn't feel right about going out with the other one. I wish I would have, he lives right by me so I'm surprised I haven't run into that guy yet.
Well, you can drop a line and see what he's up to... Young people do recover faster generally, but even so, I'd honestly recommend a break, though...
Use a magnet? All joking aside, haystacks are often filled with nasty things. Bugs. Mice. Bits of garbage. So the problem isn't finding the needle in the haystack, it's filtering all the crap out before you even look.
(this is one of those things that will probably only make sense to me)
Military men move a lot... yeah, that's understandable. Some of them don't wanna be tied down, others would feel bad for constantly moving.
This is a pretty interesting observation.
The worst kind... the sneaky fiend. Fooling you into a false sense of security while they're usually looking for their "out." Lame.
Most everyone has issues, though, it's just tht not as many people want to work to fix them.
lol, oh I know they move a lot, but I mentioned in another post, where I live, they don't move or deploy as often.
haha oh ya, he fooled me and everyone around me. I trusted him and he betrayed that, **** happens I guess.
of cousre we all have issues, but if its gonna burden someone else, don't date. simple. He wasn't honest with himself. This is why I'm done, my fears of getting hurt again and being decieved put me in a place where I can't trust anyone..that's no way to date at all so I'm giving it a rest.
I have not read the whole thread, but I just want to say, at 25, you are still young and the men your age are still feeling their way too. If I were you, I would probably try a reputable online dating site and carefully screen someone before you meet them. Then you would know their intentions before you start.
I have heard that eharmony is good.
I completely see what you're saying. but where I live, people marry young. there are very few young singles left here. I met this last guy online, he completely mislead me. His profile said he's looking for a relationship..he played it off for 3 months. he's scum. I hope he finds this and reads this too.
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Damn, it sounded promising.
All joking aside, haystacks are often filled with nasty things. Bugs. Mice. Bits of garbage. So the problem isn't finding the needle in the haystack, it's filtering all the crap out before you even look. 
my issues are increasing. I took time to myself before I got back into things after my ex..I thought it was only fair to the guys I was meeting. But now I feel more messed up cause of all the deceiving so I'm done for a while.
