When is a handshake appropriate? (women, older, kiss, college)

[animatedmartian]

This question popped into my mind as I thought about a recent college visit I had.

My personal social interactions are actually pretty low outside of talking with relatives. At most, I usually interact with people when I'm shopping (at the register) or on the street (usually people asking me for directions). I know for formal interactions like job interviews and meeting someone of importance, a handshake would be the norm.

However, I recently visited a private university for admissions counselling. It was more of an informal atmosphere with only a few people in shirts and ties, similar to an art school. When I first met the counselor, she introduced herself and then lead me to her office (quite open with windowed walls facing inside the office and out towards the atrium). After talking to her, she had a student show me around campus. She looked about my age within a year or so and admittedly looked pretty cute, which may or may not have made a difference in why I enjoyed the tour. After the tour however, she lead me to the student commons area, I awkwardly said "Thanks for the tour. See ya" and we parted ways.

So I'm wondering, is it too formal for this particular setting to have had the counselor shake my hand when we first met and/or would had it have been too formal to shake hands with the student before parting ways? Or is it something that has fallen out of style and is usually reserved for business settings?

While I didn't think of it at the moment, I particularly would have liked to shook the student's hand because of the slight affinity I had for her.

[katie45]

You ask a very good question. I did a Google search on who should initiate a handshake, and when is a handshake appropriate.

Some articles stated that the person of the 'higher rank' should initiate the handshake; but if you're supposedly on the same level, then what?

In a business type setting, perhaps a job interview, or at a business meeting, a handshake seems appropriate.

In your particular situation, it seems like a handshake with the counselor would be in order, but not required.

As far as the student giving the tour, it would up to either of you...and if it doesn't feel comfortable then best to let it pass.

[bobman]

Personally speaking, when I meet someone for the first time, I will offer my hand for a handshake.

There's not always a need to shake at the end of a meeting, but it doesn't hurt.

Politeness costs nothing, and can be the difference between a successful meeting and a forgettable one.

[animatedmartian]

I see... It certainly makes sense that a person is more memorable if there's a handshake. Both in business and personal interactions. If I had the chance again I'd probably do it so that I'd make an impression on the student. Unfortunately, I probably don't have to go back to the school for a while and I only remember her face but barely the name. Ah well, thanks for some responses and I'll be sure to keep it in mind the next time I'd like to make an impression in either case.

[valeeighty2]

This is a great question. To me is a bit difficult sometimes to figure out when to shake someones hand, it is particularly hard, because in South America we all kiss when we meet, even for the for the first time, a kiss on the cheek is normal.

I mean if someone offers, then it is a no brainer of course. So I have learned that in a casual setting, if they don't offer the hand, I just smile really big and say hi. If it is someone older than me, like someone's parents, or at church, I offer a hand, because that is the respectful thing to do IMO.

[purehuman]

Handshakes are something that's done (in my mind) as a show of respect....and any time you want.... is a good time.

[SwedishViking]

I shake hands when I meet other guys I know who are my friends while I say hello.
Or when I introduce myself to someone new.
At the gym I also shake hands with more and more people... people I know, friends of friends, people I've spotted or who have spotted me...
Basically I shake hands with guys and give female friends a hug.

Then there is the black man gangstah shake, that's done when I'm drunk or just being goofy with people, and also with the guys in the football team when I meet them at practise, as well as some of the guys in the gym.

Favorite to see has to be the policeman-handshake, when they're about to start talking to someone who's out of order but not really threatening, walk up to them and say
"hello I'm john, with the Stockholm police, so what's happening here?"
At stating their name they've done the handshake, and then go on to washing their hands with 85% ethanol solution to get rid of the germs before the sentance is finished, lol.
Thus taking away the politeness of the handshake by indirectly implying the shake was a nasty one.

[HurricaneDC]

I shake hands when meeting most people, particularly if they're introduced to me by someone. I'll shake hands with certain guy friends who I'm not that close with (usually friends of friends) while I'll hug/high-five a good friend, male or female.

[Clinton Brogain]

Clinton Brogain here. Personally, I would avoid shaking the hands of white women, you don't want to send the wrong signals nor sully your karma. Aside from that, however, I make it a point to shake hands with every man I run into. Confidence and sensuality wrapped up into one simple gesture, brilliant.

Brogain X

[SwedishViking]

Originally Posted by Clinton Brogain

Clinton Brogain here. Personally, I would avoid shaking the hands of white women, you don't want to send the wrong signals nor sully your karma. Aside from that, however, I make it a point to shake hands with every man I run into. Confidence and sensuality wrapped up into one simple gesture, brilliant.

Brogain X

Please explain that one...