Environment and outside factors really do matter quite a lot, my take. (dating, girlfriends)

[yates33]

I know my past post often told guys to be the best they can be, blah blah blah, but there are outside factors at work that make it more difficult for a guy to fully reach his potential in the dating game (basically, attract a lot of women). Here they are

1. Parents - Growing up in a strict traditional household for a while, I was slapped across the back of my head by my mother because I kissed a girl at the mall when I was 16 and my mother saw it. Not to mention, I suffered minor obesity at a young age because fitness and a good physique are just not looked highly upon in my culture. In fact there were days I was forced to stay inside my house and "study" when I could have been out enjoying life with my friends. I was also not allowed to participate in high school sports by my parents because they said it was a "waste of time". Now you know I was not gonna be the guy teenage girls kill to date. This is a tough one, but I will tell you how you can overcome it.

2. Environment, Setting, District, City, etc. - It is a sad fact but as I have realized, certain areas just have better looking girls, more down to earth girls, and girls who will click with you better than other areas. A girl in a rich district in Miami will GENERALLY look better than a girl in a poor one where basic needs are just not there.
My parents found it right to send me to a small high school where most girls were average looking at best (and my standards aren't even that high). Lets just say that my friends from the better suburban high schools made fun of me for going there and the girls were one things they ripped on me for. To be fair, I wasn't the best looking guy in the world back then either soooo it evens out. Not only did my environment limit me dating wise, it limited my college options and amount of things I can do.

3. Other responsibilities - Say a family members of yours is in danger, such a situation may cause you to be the man of the house and take up responsibility all the while not giving you the time to date.

Here are my suggestions:

1. For those with strict/traditional Parents: Realize that sooner or later you are gonna have to man up. Seriously. Reasoning with them won't really help, such parents are set in their ways and strictly limit themselves to their own experience when trying to see what is the best for you. Basically such parents want the best kind of life for you while realizing that the kind of life they want for you is not the best for you. You are going to have to speak up, do things without asking them (don't go out doing any graffiti or anything now), you are going to have to do things you want to do and gather up the power to tell them that it is no more. They may threaten to disown you, well, would you rather have comfort in a cage or live life out there? Your choice. I had to do it and it certainly came with a lot of yelling, emotional abuse, a lot of "you are not as good as that other kid who made into Yale", but I am quite happy I did it now. It came with a price which may apply to all of you.

2. For those stuck in an unfavorable environment: Realize that you don't have much to work with. Where I went to high school most girls dressed urban, talked like girls in rap videos, put on sooo much make up, and had the whole "ghetto" vibe to them, basically, you got on their bad side, a broken nose or physical injurt ensued. For those in this situation, WORK. Find a way out. My way out was good grades which I did not fully get (3.3 GPA, 1950 SAT score, not the best) and I paid the price for it. Find out what you can do to get to a better environment and get there, then worry about dating the kind of girls you want. NOW this isn't to say you can't find that one special girl. One of the best girls I ever dated was raised in a rough environment, a "ghetto" basically but this made her more desirable because she did not act it YET she had the street smarts to take care of herself in a tough situation, I did not have to be her guard dog. Do realize that doing such can often backfire and you may end up dating the wrong kind of girl who has gang connections.

3. For those with other responsibilities: From the many friends of mines who I have talked about this to. Let time pass, fulfill those responsibilities. You may attract a girl who will support you which is great but for now, getting a girlfriend should not even be on your list.

Now time for a cold hard realization:

Life is not always fair. Some people just have more than others. All of my friends who were raised in better environments than me and had more lenient parents than mines tended to develop more physically.They played sports and reached their peak in looks earlier and by college they had a lot of experience with women to the point they were dating many girls and getting numbers left to right (grammar ignored, you get the point).

I have learned to realize that for now, it is too late for me to be on their level. I will never be able to compete with them simply because they had a better start and managed to take advantage of that fact. But I don't care about that. Sure you may not get to sleep with as many models as the kid who had rich parents and had the connections to get a night in the playboy mansion but f*ck that.

As cliche as it sounds, be the best that you can be. I know I will never be a casanova due to my lack of experience with girls in my early teens, sure I have dated 6 girls but so what, there are guys out there that date 30 girls by the time they are my age. I don't care about them. Do what it takes to make the best of what you have.

Just because mom and dad sheltered you when you were young and tried to stop you from pursuing what you wanted does not mean you have to be a loner who posts threads about how to get girls on the internet. You will never be as great as the guy who was born with rich parents and started out dating the pretty girls when he was young but that doesn't mean you can't be great period.

PEACE OUT! I am going to my friend's basketball game. MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL.

PS: When I come back tonight I will post a race,height,and other factors thread for Texas User.

[Skydive Outlaw]

Environment and outside factors. . . . .

I was involved in a relationship at one point in my life where the environment and outside factors of the woman I was (not the factors in my life - but hers) with affected our relationship to the point of tearing us apart after a year and a half.

A few weeks into the relationship, I began to realize that she was more or less hiding me from her girlfriends and also, mainly her parents. Keep in mind we were in our 30s at the time so I thought it was unusual. When things collapsed a year and a half into it, during out final conversation on the phone, one of the last things she said was "I thought I knew what everyone was going to think." as in everyone around her regarding me.

Basically, I was not like the guys her dad had previously set her up with and she more or less thought she had to go out with. The clowns that were on golf courses every weekend, played by life's rules and were the ideal version of the type of guy that her dad wanted her with and to get married to. It caused an incredible amount of conflict in our relationship from day one, but we were inseparable and as she described "soul mates" and I still to this day truly believe that she loved me.

However, enter, the exciting, tattoed, lone outlaw that answers to nobody, skydives, base jumps and lives on the edge. She waited a long time to tell me, but after a few months, she said she was "afraid" of what her dad might think. And I was like WTF. She was over the age of 30 and still living by her father's rules (even still at her parent's house following a divorce). She was definetely, either voluntarily or coerced into being kind of sheltered, but there was a rare kind of innocence in her eyes, smile and sense of life. I tolerated things for a while, but towards the end it just got ridiculous. Point is, I encountered life factors and environment issues in her world that were destined to destroy what we had - and did. She was living a double life for a while and it was insane.

Nothing would have changed the end result since she was so incapable of challenging her set views and standing up to the control her dad had with regards to her life, so I enjoyed it while I could, but my heart completely broke when it was all over. In addition to taking her clit to the next level or orgasmic evolution, I also more than likely ruined her sexually for any guy that her dad sets her up with in the future since she will always look back on the time we spent together and the porn-induced non-stop F-fests that she claimed she had never experienced with any other guy. So, my legacy will continue on in a sense and maybe a part of her will find the strength to find her way back someday to the lone skydive outlaw she left behind so long ago. Her artifical environment and life/social factors would have to change though.

I sitll remember those nights (she was a flight attendant) when we would talk on the phone for hours when she was in another city, and we would both fall asleep while still on the phone and I would wake up to her voice later, because we both still had our phones on the same call we fell asleep on. It kills me sometimes.

Sky-O

[purehuman]

Personally I don't think being born with a silver spoon in your mouth makes you any more "great" than someone who was not....nor does having parents who are/were not into sports....nor does going to a small high school....as for girls...having a rich daddy has nothing to do with wether they are beautiful or not....

[yates33]

-reads and nods-