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Originally Posted by mkmb;
Ok. I'm reading between the lines here, so I admit I could be wrong. I know such an admission is pretty unheard of but here goes...
He had 4 dates with her with a little make out session on date 3. Now I'm assuming he's not an 80 y/o man where the primary reason to date is to find someone to accompany him to the all you can eat senior buffet--probably he's looking for some form of romantic relationship complete with satisfying physical contact. If there was no contact on date 4, following contact on date 3 that probably means the make out session on date 3 was unsatisfactory and/or the girl doesn't want to have a physical relationship.
If that's the case I'm glad he isn't pressuring her to do something she doesn't want and I don't see why he has to continue seeing someone who isn't going to be able to give him what he wants. As to the convo everyone thinks he should have with her: these two would seem to be looking for vastly different things in a relationship and it would be very hard for him to tell her the truth without making it seem sort of high pressure on her.
If my assumptions are anywhere close to the truth, I think he is being a
gentleman by not having this conversation. Further it seems a shame that she is so dense that she isn't picking up on the clues. Her friends would be doing her a huge favor by taking her aside and explaining that if someone isn't responding they probably aren't interested. If the situation was different, say if he was hounding her and she wasn't returning his calls, most people would think him a creep. I don't want to call the girl a creep, but she does need to
figure some things out.
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It is a shame she isn't picking up on the clues. However, also seems a shame he can't be honest with her. Doesn't have to be a speech
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You know, some people are always "connected" (texting, FB, etc) and their communication needs/wants are more than others. People who text a lot drive me crazy....I don't have a lot of "needs" that way. Perhaps the girl in question is an avid texter, etc to everyone she knows and the OP is far overestimating her interest in him and/or how much she'd actually be letdown. I could be wrong and maybe she's just a creeper who doesn't get it, who knows?
Also depends on the age....my 20yo daughter has a boyfriend and she is glued to her phone. She has girl and guy friends, very extroverted. She texts a lot. I think most (not all) people her age are like that. I would be hard pressed to assume anything by the number of texts she sends...she's a talker. She texts her boyfriend a lot but she isn't necessarily that serious about him. He's moving two states away next summer, he's asked her more than once to move with him, she's told him no each time he's asked. Alternatively, he rarely ever texts her or is on FB and from all appearances, he is way more serious about her.
The OP doesn't know if she'll be all heartbroken or go nuts, he's just
assuming
. Perhaps he really is "all that"
but who knows. He could just be giving himself way more credit than what is warranted. Maybe, maybe not.
Besides, if he was really that into her otherwise the avid texting wouldn't be
an issue. He'd either ignore the vast majority of it or ask her to slow it down some.
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