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Old 09-13-2007, 05:48 PM
 
Location: SanAnFortWAbiHoustoDalCentral, Texas
791 posts, read 2,222,256 times
Reputation: 195

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Quote:
Originally Posted by gentlearts View Post
A man without a wife is a thing that needs fixing.
I think most of them take care of it on Saturday mornings.
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Old 09-13-2007, 07:12 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, TN
8,002 posts, read 18,601,320 times
Reputation: 12357
Quote:
Originally Posted by twixcookie View Post
It has taken me my whole life to understand one simple concept: that men don't want to be in relationships with women.
I wasn't the type who tried to get married when I was younger. I didn't marry till my 30s. I wasn't in any big rush.
But that was a horrible marriage with a narcissist and I got out. No one ever twisted my arm. But I think I followed some silent social law about getting married and having kids. I myself don't believe that every single man out there does not want a relationship, and this is from experience, and having my male friend's asking me if I have any nice friends to set them up with - they want to get married and have children or want to spend their life with someone. Can I use Rance as an example too? - he just proposed to Hannah - I'm not sure - but I hope she didn't trap him into it (sarcasm here Rance), and my own experience dating and having some boyfriends propose - I didn't pressure any of them into marriage and my husband right now - I never pressured him at all, he asked me to marry him.

And since then, I have come to understand that men feel pushed in marriage. I don't have the energy nor the time to try to get someone to want to be with me. It took me a long time to realize what I wanted was so one-sided, the white picket fence fantasy with a smart wizard in bed. I am tired of the pests who say "oh, but you have so much to give to someone"...bah! You may have so much to give to someone, that is a great compliment someone is giving you - but I'm glad that you know at this point in your life that you are much happier being single and don't let anyone pressure you into doing anything you don't want to do.

If men envy a man who stayed single, that is even more proof. I envy my single cousin who gets to go to Aruba, Australia, Italy, Vegas all the time on vacation, I don't want to trade with her though, and she sometimes envies me and my life and the fact that I married and had kids, but she wouldn't trade for my life anyday either.

Society just fabricated all of this, so children wouldn't be bastardized and the human race would go on, by nurturing children in a secure environment.
Love is just a chemical reaction. Is there something wrong with nurturing children in a secure environment????

And anyone who wants to blow their "oh, youre a pessimist" or "oh, youre so sad" garbage on me...you know you have doubts about all this marriage stuff too. I accept how men are, and I don't pretend. Well I would never say these two statements to you so I don't know - maybe your friends say these things??? But I accept how you are too!

Why get in a relationship in the first place? One can have friends, and hobbies for fulfillment. Well, for me and my husband, we do have our own friends and several hobbies we do without each other. But on the other hand we need companionship and love. I'm trying to keep this PG-13 here, but I like to make love to the man I love every night or every morning, I just can't see myself doing this single - I don't like to sleep around and I need sex - lots of it. Yeah, I can satisfy myself, but it's funner with two!!


So back to my statement from earlier, if people don't want to get married just be upfront when you meet someone and tell them your not interested in marriage. LionKing is very upfront about it and I'm sure he lets the ladies he meets know this. I'm still interested in the answer to your original question on this post, why do men get married a second time??????
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Old 09-13-2007, 07:54 PM
 
Location: Zebulon, NC
2,275 posts, read 6,305,726 times
Reputation: 3622
Some men like being married, some men don't. Some women like being married, and some women don't.

Some people marry the wrong person, or get married and the relationship doesn't work out, and that's unfortunate. Some people marry the right person, and live happily ever after.

My point is, you can't make a single statement about marriage and apply it to everyone. Yes, you can be fulfilled with friends and hobbies. I was for a long time, and probably still would be if I hadn't met my husband. However, when I met him, we both wanted to be married - to each other. Not just for the sake of being married, but because we wanted to share our lives with each other.

I never, ever presume to believe that every woman wants to be married, and every man doesn't. I never presume to believe that a person isn't married simply because they're not trying. Some people are single because they want to be - and that's alright. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that.

However, some people meet and want to share their lives with each other - and there's nothing wrong with that, either. Just as married people shouldn't look down on single people because they're not married, single people shouldn't look down on married people, either. One is just as disrespectful as the other.

For the record, I've had lots of male friends who desperately wanted to be married, and would complain that they couldn't meet someone to settle down with.

I won't tell you you're a pessimist or sad - but you do sound very bitter, perhaps justifiably so. I'm sorry you had such a horrible marriage - I truly am. However, one bad marriage does not mean all marriages are bad. Marriage may not be for you, but that doesn't mean it can't be something that others want, and no one should ever be made to feel inferior or guilty for being happily married.
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Old 10-04-2007, 01:33 PM
 
44 posts, read 170,530 times
Reputation: 30
Wink How about the following nightmare...

Quote:
Originally Posted by twixcookie View Post
My whole life, I have heard about how men avoid marriage like the plague, how they really do not want to marry and can do fine by themselves.
I do understand this, that men and women are very different, and that it is usually the woman who wants marriage, but how are women able to convince men to remarry a second time?
If men dislike the idea of "being tied down", or "trapped", why are so many of them married? Or...is this really part of the reason for so many divorces, that they marry and decide later they want to be free?
What if your married and love the woman. For whatever the reason she decides one day to not have sexual relations with you or worse decides to do it outside of the marriage. He's stuck. Being single sucks too. Men need harems! Ah, the good 'ol days .
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Old 10-08-2007, 04:46 PM
 
Location: Midwest
799 posts, read 2,168,296 times
Reputation: 216
Well, if someone is having sex outside the marriage, that's grounds for divorce.

If they stop having it, ask if their nerve endings went numb.
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Old 10-08-2007, 04:51 PM
 
Location: Midwest
799 posts, read 2,168,296 times
Reputation: 216
Quote:
Originally Posted by mjb68 View Post
[/b]

So back to my statement from earlier, if people don't want to get married just be upfront when you meet someone and tell them your not interested in marriage. LionKing is very upfront about it and I'm sure he lets the ladies he meets know this. I'm still interested in the answer to your original question on this post, why do men get married a second time??????
I understand someone is being honest and upfront, but it must still feel like an insult when someone tells another person they wouldn't choose them, and they don't even really know them yet.

It isn't that I want to stay single, or prefer it, it is just that's how it is. When I was married, I sounded like you, until he strayed. I tried to be a really good wife, because that what what I wanted.

And yes, Rance sounds like a very good guy. I wish them the best of times ahead!!
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Old 10-08-2007, 05:50 PM
 
Location: Naptowne, Alaska
15,603 posts, read 39,812,105 times
Reputation: 14890
For the record...she proposed to me! 5 times I think. And I accepted them all. No pressure from either of us. I cannot wait to be married. I want to be married. And if somewhere down the road she decides to move on with half my stuff (Lord, I hope that never happens)...I'll give it all to her and help her pack to boot. It's just stuff. I can always get more.
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Old 10-08-2007, 07:47 PM
 
Location: the show-me state
672 posts, read 2,124,910 times
Reputation: 757
Default My thoughts on this.....

Well, I am only going to speak for myself, and my own situation here. I was married once, many years ago, and it just didn't pan out very well for us. Then, I stayed away from serious relationships for almost twenty years. This was something that I actually dwelled upon from deep within myself. I dated some, and even did "shack-up" with a woman for almost a year once. Now, the deal was, I was OK with my single status. But, people around me used to constantly tell me that I needed to "find" me someone and marry up with her. In truth, I always thought to myself; why? so I can be miserable and unhappy, like you are. But, I guess our thinking must change as time goes along. At least, mine has. Now, I plan to try the marriage thing again. Im doing it because I honestly do love her, and I do see value in marriage myself. Maybe its my up-bringing, but it seems quite natural to me for two people who love each other to exchange wedding vows. Now, will it last forever? I don't know. But I do know that it can. I think its really up to she and I to do the things necessary to make it be so. And, I plan to try to do my part.
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Old 10-08-2007, 08:35 PM
 
Location: #
9,598 posts, read 16,560,593 times
Reputation: 6323
I think you all are wrong. Both sexes have become much more selfishand technology has allowed this. Whether this is bad or good for society re. Education mains to be seen.
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Old 10-08-2007, 10:12 PM
 
Location: USA
4,978 posts, read 9,511,158 times
Reputation: 2506
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rance View Post
For the record...she proposed to me! 5 times I think. And I accepted them all. No pressure from either of us. I cannot wait to be married. I want to be married. And if somewhere down the road she decides to move on with half my stuff (Lord, I hope that never happens)...I'll give it all to her and help her pack to boot. It's just stuff. I can always get more.
Do you have a clone?
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