Why I'm "cynical" about love and think it's mostly BS (girlfriend, married)

[MIKEETC]

In order for love of others to work you must love yourself.

[that's my "aww Hello Kitty" statement of the day]

[i like Hello Kitty]

[wanderlust76]

Originally Posted by Alanboy395

Okay, in the past 24 hours I've been lectured to death because I've expressed that I think love is a bunch of BS. Well if you want the reasons to my madness here they are.

1. The prevalence of divorce and the divorce industry. Okay 50% divorce rate. Women being able to gobble your retirement and any other money you busted your a&$ to make since the family court system believes that all women are completely defenseless and unable to make a career. Women initating most of the divorces when they get tired of you for no apparent reason. What guy in his right mind signs up for that.

2. Lack of loyalty with love. My grandparents were married until my grandfather passed away, this despite a 20 year age difference between them, despite granddad fighting in WWII, despite living in a small shack in east TX throughout their marriage with 6 kids, despite being poor. They stayed together simply because they meant their vows. Nowadays it is, I'm in until I get tired.

3. The requirement sheet most have for prospective mates. I believe in deal-breakers but I don't think I should be cast aside simply because while I have an FT job I don't make $60k and drive a Lexus. I have a car that is paid off, a place I can easily pay rent fo, and soon will add a college degree and hopefully a better salary but don't plan to change much. If love is love, why should my occupation matter if I make enough to pay bills?

4. The types of losers I see getting decent women. I have a friend who is in a relationship with an older guy who has 3 kids with 3 women and lies all day, no job or career prospects, and has taken $5k from her over a few years, and ain't much to look at. You telling me that loser can get someone decent and I can't being a guy who has no kids, a job, and an honest guy.

5. I think love is confused with lust mostly. You can't build anything on lust and it baffles me why people marry when the only thing they have in common is sexual attraction.

Point # 4 is called the bad boy syndrome syndrome you just laugh at those women because they are too dumb to realize what they are doing and the type of man they are falling for. You will never change thsse women they either learn the hard way or they never learn at all. A lot of the time it's because the woman has low self esteem and she is with a guy that knows how to take advantage of that. They are truly sad cases. I understand your frustration though I feel it too sometimes. You just have to understand it has nothing to do with you it has to do with the woman and her issues.

Point # 3 I totally agree with it's the same thing I'm dealing with.

Point # 1 is very is easy to explain women marry a guy because he has a fancy high paying career or job title to brag to her friends about then they realize they're not really in love with him so they want a divorce. Then the guy gets raked in divorce court. It's kind of ironic isn't it?

Point # 5 IMO physical attraction and sexual attraction is extremely important which is one of the areas where I won't settle... but some do confuse love with lust there is no doubt about that. U2 song quote - only true love can keep beauty innocent.

[Raena77]

Originally Posted by MIKEETC

In order for love of others to work you must love yourself.

[that's my "aww Hello Kitty" statement of the day]

[i like Hello Kitty]

Lmao! Who doesn't!

[Braunwyn]

Originally Posted by Alanboy395

Okay, in the past 24 hours I've been lectured to death because I've expressed that I think love is a bunch of BS. Well if you want the reasons to my madness here they are.

I think love is probably experienced differently for all of us. It might be BS for some and not others. Further, it might evolve for individuals as well as we mature. It can very much be a wonderful thing. Hopefully, at some point in your future, you'll have opportunities to explore it.

[the minx]

Originally Posted by Alanboy395

Okay, in the past 24 hours I've been lectured to death because I've expressed that I think love is a bunch of BS. Well if you want the reasons to my madness here they are.


3. The requirement sheet most have for prospective mates. I believe in deal-breakers but I don't think I should be cast aside simply because while I have an FT job I don't make $60k and drive a Lexus. I have a car that is paid off, a place I can easily pay rent fo, and soon will add a college degree and hopefully a better salary but don't plan to change much. If love is love, why should my occupation matter if I make enough to pay bills?

I'm going to guess that you are insecure because you don't make a lot of money and somehow have twisted the blame for your insecurity into a woman's fault. (Not worded very eloquently, but you get my drift.)


I dated a man in my mid-20s who made about 32k a year. He couldn't buy me fancy clothes or take me on exotic vacations, but he worked hard and made me feel loved in ways that didn't require money. I loved him - hard. To this day, I think he is the only man I've ever really been in love with, truly and deeply.

I've dated a couple of men who made close to 6 figures or more. A bigger paycheck =/= more love. Believe me.

[Broncos Quarterback]

I agree with your points 1 and 2 to some extent and definitely point 5, but your points 3 and 4 clearly contradict one another. You say women want some wealthy guy, but then cite financial losers who are getting women.

[Phoenix2017]

Friend Alan: my prescription for curing your cynicism about love being B.S. is find a sweet, affectionate girl, between the ages of 18-23 to date and be in an LTR with Believe me, the standards and requirements on her end will be lower and she will be more flexible and accommodating, to your emotional needs (meant in a good / positive way)

But yes, date, romance, and hopefully even marry, a (legal-aged) younger gal Trust me on this...I was in the exact same boat as you, not too long ago...

Originally Posted by Alanboy395

Okay, in the past 24 hours I've been lectured to death because I've expressed that I think love is a bunch of BS. Well if you want the reasons to my madness here they are.

1. The prevalence of divorce and the divorce industry. Okay 50% divorce rate. Women being able to gobble your retirement and any other money you busted your a&$ to make since the family court system believes that all women are completely defenseless and unable to make a career. Women initating most of the divorces when they get tired of you for no apparent reason. What guy in his right mind signs up for that.

2. Lack of loyalty with love. My grandparents were married until my grandfather passed away, this despite a 20 year age difference between them, despite granddad fighting in WWII, despite living in a small shack in east TX throughout their marriage with 6 kids, despite being poor. They stayed together simply because they meant their vows. Nowadays it is, I'm in until I get tired.

3. The requirement sheet most have for prospective mates. I believe in deal-breakers but I don't think I should be cast aside simply because while I have an FT job I don't make $60k and drive a Lexus. I have a car that is paid off, a place I can easily pay rent fo, and soon will add a college degree and hopefully a better salary but don't plan to change much. If love is love, why should my occupation matter if I make enough to pay bills?

4. The types of losers I see getting decent women. I have a friend who is in a relationship with an older guy who has 3 kids with 3 women and lies all day, no job or career prospects, and has taken $5k from her over a few years, and ain't much to look at. You telling me that loser can get someone decent and I can't being a guy who has no kids, a job, and an honest guy.

5. I think love is confused with lust mostly. You can't build anything on lust and it baffles me why people marry when the only thing they have in common is sexual attraction.

[Yzette]

Originally Posted by Alanboy395

Okay, in the past 24 hours I've been lectured to death because I've expressed that I think love is a bunch of BS. Well if you want the reasons to my madness here they are.

1. The prevalence of divorce and the divorce industry. Okay 50% divorce rate. Women being able to gobble your retirement and any other money you busted your a&$ to make since the family court system believes that all women are completely defenseless and unable to make a career. Women initating most of the divorces when they get tired of you for no apparent reason. What guy in his right mind signs up for that.

2. Lack of loyalty with love. My grandparents were married until my grandfather passed away, this despite a 20 year age difference between them, despite granddad fighting in WWII, despite living in a small shack in east TX throughout their marriage with 6 kids, despite being poor. They stayed together simply because they meant their vows. Nowadays it is, I'm in until I get tired.

3. The requirement sheet most have for prospective mates. I believe in deal-breakers but I don't think I should be cast aside simply because while I have an FT job I don't make $60k and drive a Lexus. I have a car that is paid off, a place I can easily pay rent fo, and soon will add a college degree and hopefully a better salary but don't plan to change much. If love is love, why should my occupation matter if I make enough to pay bills?

4. The types of losers I see getting decent women. I have a friend who is in a relationship with an older guy who has 3 kids with 3 women and lies all day, no job or career prospects, and has taken $5k from her over a few years, and ain't much to look at. You telling me that loser can get someone decent and I can't being a guy who has no kids, a job, and an honest guy.

5. I think love is confused with lust mostly. You can't build anything on lust and it baffles me why people marry when the only thing they have in common is sexual attraction.

http://i1014.photobucket.com/albums/...rapesAward.jpg

[Slanderous]

Why worry about who others date? If a woman dates a loser or dates for shallow reasons, she probably wasn't worth dating in the first place.

[moonsavvy]

You don't have control of society and what people are doing around you. You do have control over yourself and your attitude. Bottom line is that people are attracted to other people who make them feel good when they're around. A pessimist is never attractive, no matter what they look like.