She's confused, and "doesn't know"......

[Tinawina]

Originally Posted by Peerless

Wow, thank you for ALL of the replies. I really appreciate it.

I can't say that anything has drastically changed. Maybe some things have. I've taken some advice from people here and personal friends and have kind of 'stepped off' a bit.

It's still really hard though. There are days where we will be hanging out, and she'll be much more inviting and personal. Then the whole "I don't know" thing pops up; so I guess I haven't learned from the past.

I think the fact that I'm living in a new city away from many friends and family, and I don't have many friends down here is what's making it harder. I love my job.. LOVE it; so I hate to complain because there are people without them and who are struggling and DESERVE to vent more than I do about this little lady problem.

But this time of year with it being cold and boring outside, with the new location, few friends/family... days are pretty gray and stuff. Add on top of that, that I'm caught in a daze with this girl; it's seriously driving me crazy.

I want to move on, but it's so hard to be friends with someone who you really really care for, ya know?

Have you tried meetup.com on your new city? Maybe you'll find some interesting groups and meet new people that way. Good luck!

[Peerless]

Originally Posted by lovesMountains

So don't be friends with her!

Just treat her like what she is, your co-worker.

Keep things professional between you to better protect yourself

I think you have some great insight into why this is harder on you right now (new place, no friends or family around, dismal winter weather), so just keep reminding yourself of all that.

And remember that spring really is just around the corner - this too shall pass

I don't know if I can really do that. I know it's hard to be friends with someone you really like, but she's one of the few people that I hang out with around here.

With her wanting to hang out a bunch, it's hard to keep it on a co-worker relationship level.

[lovesMountains]

Originally Posted by Peerless

I don't know if I can really do that. I know it's hard to be friends with someone you really like, but she's one of the few people that I hang out with around here.

With her wanting to hang out a bunch, it's hard to keep it on a co-worker relationship level.

Then you are bringing the pain on yourself man.

Your choice, just be aware you are setting yourself up to keep being hurt by her

[Peerless]

Originally Posted by lovesMountains

Then you are bringing the pain on yourself man.

Your choice, just be aware you are setting yourself up to keep being hurt by her

I know. It's so damn and unfortunately true.

[strawberrykiki]

Sometimes women use nice guys like you to boost their self esteem. Especially if they are still pining for an ex. You're safe to her. She knows you adore her and you won't hurt her. I'm sure she likes you, but I'm not sure she'll ever be able to commit to dating you or being there for you like you're hoping she will. It may also be she's healing from another relationship and it wouldn't matter who was woo'ing her. Sometimes people just aren't ready for a relationship.

It's hard to be friends with someone when you want more. All you are doing by maintaining this relationship is hurting yourself and hanging onto any nice gesure she makes as a sign that maybe just possibly she could change her mind. Join a dating website, check out the website someone else mentioned about meeting up. Take a class or get a new hobby to make some friends. If things are meant to be with this girl then it'll work out in the future, but for now I think all you're doing is causing yourself further hurt and missing out on other potential dates that will treat you how you deserve.

[Buick>Import]

"She's confused, and "doesn't know"......"

In other words... shes the quintessential woman.