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No, I do not think you are selfish. I think you are incredibly self-aware and smart. Parenting is not for everyone. There are far too many people out there having kids they don't really want. These same people don't always devote themselves to raising these children, which creates a myriad of problems for the kids and society as a whole.
If you were 20-25 and saying this, I'd likely say you didn't yet know what you want.
However, you're 34. Whatever your hobbies (hey, I don't judge, it takes all kinds) you're old enough to know what appeals to you and what doesn't. Maybe something will change your mind and maybe it won't, but if you don't want children -- don't have them! To have them and not want them would BE selfish, because then you'd start a slow pattern of either neglect OR resentment for the time, care and money they required.
I can understand where this questions comes from. There are loads of people out there who will say such things, about how if you're of a marrying and child-bearing age and NOT doing it, it's because you're self-absorbed.
Frankly, I don't consider that the case. I think the parents who have children they didn't particulary want because it was the "thing to do" end up making fairly poor parents. Their children may never want for material goods, may never suffer any form of neglect at all -- other than emotional, because it's hard to pour your heart into something when your heart just isn't IN it in the first place.
This doesn't make you a lousy human being, doesn't mean something is missing from your character. It just means you're not one of those people who wants children.
I say enjoy your life your way. Me, I have a son I adore, and I enjoy my life MY way -- and we're both just fine in our own way, right?
No. Not everyone should be married, and not every married couple should have children.
^^^ Pretty much this. I know a lot of people who would make terrible parents. I also know many terrible parents. Just because you make babies, doesn't mean that you turn into a good parent along the way.
Oh, and terrible parents make children that turn into unhappy and sometimes destructive teenagers and adult human beings.
It's not selfish to know your own mind. Children are a huge drain on your time and money. If you don't want to make the sacrifices that children require, you certainly don't have to. Have you been talking to someone who called you "selfish"? That person is just trying to make you feel guilty for going against the flow. Frankly, there are more than enough people in the world already. Be free! Travel, have fun, whatever makes you happy.
I wouldn't call it selfish. Some people value different things. Some people value starting a family and some people value their own personal time. I see no problem.
What is selfish is having kids and then being unwilling to give up your personal time.
At least you know yourself well enough to avoid a painful situation.
I agree with this completely and it's something I forgot to mention.
It's very unsettling when guys run around having children with multiple women and never play a fatherly role in their children's lives.
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