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Unread 03-04-2012, 03:43 PM
 
Location: Oakland, CA
9,836 posts, read 4,329,057 times
Reputation: 6079
Default Is there one unexpected trait that causes your attraction to someone?

It took me forever to figure out what pushes someone over from being attractive into being someone who I think is attractive and would want a relationship with.

Of course we all have our obvious things like good chemistry, blah blah blah. But over the years, I have had great chemistry with people and haven't been remotely interested in pursuing something with them. This is the same thing that causes seemingly pretty good relationships to end.

I finally put my finger on what the trait is that pushes me over.... so I can better seek it out!

So I was wondering if anyone else has a similar thing.

For me, any potential S.O. has to push me to do things out my comfort zone. I am totally absolutely a chicken, and only want to take baby steps out of my box. (I'll try things that are pretty similar to other things I have tried)

So if I am pushing my S.O. to do new stuff all the time, eventually I no longer feel "challenged." But if the roles are reversed and the S.O. is encouraging me to do stuff that I would be afraid or intimidated to do, it keeps me hooked! It doesn't necessarily have to be completely off the wall but exploring new stuff together is important to me.

What's your secret critical item for a successful relationship?
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Unread 03-04-2012, 03:49 PM
 
650 posts, read 357,412 times
Reputation: 495
I like down to earth pretty girl next door who hopefully has good taste in music, I just go with the flow and try not to have excessive criteria... although, an "unexpected trait" not in the sense your necessarily talking about, but I find some women can sometimes put on a sexy or sweet voice that "pushes my buttons" (kind of like my post about Little mannerisms), so I guess maybe I do have an unexpected trait lol

Last edited by KidArizona; 03-04-2012 at 03:49 PM.. Reason: .
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Unread 03-04-2012, 03:50 PM
 
14,757 posts, read 8,311,191 times
Reputation: 7630
Femininity...in a woman.
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Unread 03-04-2012, 03:54 PM
 
Location: Oakland, CA
9,836 posts, read 4,329,057 times
Reputation: 6079
Quote:
Originally Posted by robertpolyglot View Post
Femininity...in a woman.
LOL! Is that unexpected nowadays....
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Unread 03-04-2012, 04:06 PM
 
Location: England
1,121 posts, read 1,051,152 times
Reputation: 925
True Love is a once or maybe Twice in a life time thing. What brings True Love about is a mixture of looks personality....chemistry.....as for relationships beyond initial dating....I think its the same, maybe it develops into true love maybe not....maybe you go on and marry the jackass and live to wish you'd waited for that special someone.

I don't think its one or two things, its that mixture...which is particular for each unique individual.
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Unread 03-04-2012, 04:10 PM
 
Location: Boston metro-west
16,479 posts, read 7,549,678 times
Reputation: 10486
One of the things about my husband, besides being fit, tall, blue eyed, etc, was that his gait was relaxed and he was comfortable in his own skin. The man dances like nobody is watching. He really doesn't give a crap what people think. He's on his own trip. I found that to be sexy. When I think back on my past loves they were similar in that way.
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Unread 03-04-2012, 06:55 PM
 
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,244 posts, read 14,625,850 times
Reputation: 11523
Making me feel awkward, actually, putting me out of my comfort zone.
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Unread 03-04-2012, 08:09 PM
 
Location: Palm Beach Gardens, Fla
1,796 posts, read 4,001,732 times
Reputation: 1240
"Openness" and being vulnerable in front of me.

I can be cynical at times so when I was in the dating scene, I would never take what a guy said at face value. LOL. When I first met the love of my life, I distincly remember having a very intimate conversation with him about our families and siblings, etc. he decided to share some of his insecurities with me. We talked about our fears, disapointments, hopes...etc. By the end of the date, I had a totally different impression of him. It felt great to open up and just feel comfortable with each other.
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Unread 03-04-2012, 08:20 PM
 
Location: Pennsylvania
20,831 posts, read 9,084,756 times
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Creative mind.
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Unread 03-04-2012, 08:23 PM
 
Location: Scottsdale, Arizona
1,001 posts, read 465,807 times
Reputation: 2146
A brunette with dark eyes, killer curves and pheromones so neuro-chemically intoxicating that I want to lick the sweat off her inner thighs.

In terms of personality, intelligence is attractive too, but as long as it gets turned off when the lights are out and the last thing I'm thinking about is her brain as we spend hours redefining the concept of getting off over 50 different ways while reaching out for the next orgasm as if life itself depended on it.
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