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Sometimes, after an exhausting day, I just want a really good massage that will lull me to peaceful sleep. My SO does give the best massages - they are so amazing. But about 15 minutes into it, he is ready to go. And, sometimes, I am so tired I just want to continue on to dreamland. Or, maybe the kids are in the next room and it is not the best time.
Is it just impossible for him to give me a good massage without getting aroused? He tells me he just can't help it because, although he starts with pure intentions, things just happen when he touches my body. I know it's a compliment and am happy with that. But it's not like he is being deprived in this area. If I want only the massage, should I just hire the professional massage therapist at the gym?
Since he says he can't help it, just hire the professional massage therapist at the gym. Trying to make him change is just going to frustrate you. It's normal for men to respond that way, but it's kind of immature for him to deal with the situation by having an expectation of sex, if that's not what you want. It's subtle pressure, granted, but I don't even like that.
As for the massage, I have no problems giving a woman massage without sex after it. I can control myself, sex doesn't control me.
^^ I agree with this statement.
It's one thing to be turned on by your partner, but it's a whole other thing to say that you can't touch her without it leading to sex, and quite frankly, paints men in a quite unflattering way.
Your partner shouldn't have to be "grateful" that you're still turned on by her, she should be free to ask for a massage without strings, and not feel as if she's untouchable otherwise or that your wants trump hers.
If he finds out your going somewhere else for a massage it's going to hurt his self esteem. He's going to think you have to go outside for your needs. Yea I know fellas but I'm just trying to help a brotha out.
That professional massage therapist is just a "male chicken" blocker. That ain't right.
Take one for the team.. Let her man do it. Marriage is all about give and take.
I seems not wanting to have sex is normal as a married woman. I can understand your question and I apply it to myself somewhat similar. I've travelled on vacation with women who EXPECT sex just because we are taking a vacation together. Nope, we're friends, and I don't have any feelings for them so why would I be EXPECTED to have sex? I have asked myself "Is it possible for a woman to take a vacation with a man without wanting sex?"
As for the massage, I have no problems giving a woman massage without sex after it. I can control myself, sex doesn't control me.
Wanting sex or not has nothing to with being married or being a woman. Plenty of married men get too lazy to want sex as well. I have taken vacations with different male friends and to me either a man is a friend or I sleep with him. I never cross that line....ever. However, the only time I have ever had a man OFFER a back rub was when he wanted more.
Is it just impossible for him to give me a good massage without getting aroused?
Get married and have kids. Instant arousal stopper. He'll be begging to stop the massage. Then you'll have to invest in one of those massaging chairs. Problem solved. An alternate solution would be to invite his mother to live with you both. Hard to get all sexy with the in law nagging you.
Maybe if he got enough sex otherwise. When I was dating my husband and only seeing him once a week he told me that if he got to have sex with me more often he probably wouldn't be so quick to paw me all the time. That proved to be true when we moved in and got married because now he gets as much as he likes to get (fortunately I like sex close to the same frequency he does ) so he doesn't feel the need to paw me all the time. I get massages that don't have to turn into anything, but if wasn't getting as much as he liked I think that would be harder for him (ha ha, I said "harder"). I think in his 56 years on this Earth he's come to realize that doing things for your woman when you don't necessarily want sex will help ensure that when you do want sex it happens
Wanting sex or not has nothing to with being married or being a woman
There might be exceptions but it seems that once married women lose interest in sex and start rejecting the husband like they didn’t when they were dating. So hearing a married woman complain because her husband wants sex is not really that shocking, don’t you think? Do we hear men complain because their wife wanted sex as much as a wife complains about a husband who wants sex?
Quote:
I have taken vacations with different male friends and to me either a man is a friend or I sleep with him. I never cross that line....ever
The couple of vacation trips I have taken a girl with me ALL OF THEM expected sex. Some would try to get all sweet with me, try to get sexy/seductive, and others would just tell me straight out they wanted to have sex. Can’t women travel with a man without expecting him to shag them? There’s gotta be exceptions.
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Marriage is all about give and take.
) so he doesn't feel the need to paw me all the time. I get massages that don't have to turn into anything, but if wasn't getting as much as he liked I think that would be harder for him (ha ha, I said "harder"). I think in his 56 years on this Earth he's come to realize that doing things for your woman when you don't necessarily want sex will help ensure that when you do want sex it happens 
