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To be honest - I was THRILLED! I always said how lesbians didn't find me attractive - and some of my lesbians would tell me that they would have hit on me but they knew I was straight - and I said, "Too little, too late!" So when I was at this gay bar and a lesbian hit on me - I was ecstatic! I told her that I was straight and married but I was so flattered! I also made sure that my friend, who happens to be gay, was watching so that he could be a witness to my first time getting hit on by a lesbian! He was so proud!
The first time I ever had someone gay hit on me, I felt the same way you did, a bit insulted. I thought "do I look like a lesbian? how would she know it was okay to hit on me?" Because it never happened to me before, and I figured you'd have to have the 'look' in order for them to sense it's okay to go there. I brought this up once on a discussion forum and they literally hung me for feeling this way and called me a homophobe. It's not everyday that I run into people who are openly gay & then make passes at you, so when it happens the first time it is strange and shocking.
I agree and can relate to you. I thought there was some "look" sort of speak. But there really isn't. I think this whole notion of "gaydar" is funny if nothing else.. But lets be honest. Some people are very obvious to spot. To say otherwise would be dishonest and people pleasing. Some people look as flamey as flames go. But many don't. You can't always tell. I had a friend of many years who turned out to be gay. He had a girl for eight years, and two kids with her. Was a man's man. Meaning liked sports, fighting, etc...Never would have figured it. But when he came out, he came out with a vengance. Left his women and kids and took off to Dallas with some guy. About a year ago, I recently spoke to him. Unfortunately for him, he is hiv positive. He has a boyfriend who is too. But you wouldn't believe in our circle of friends how surprised we all were. You would have never known it.
Many gay people probably hide it from many because it's much easier to do that, then live with the fear of what others think of them. But the truth is. There is nothing wrong with being gay. People are what they are. If people don't like it, to he l with you..
I think it's got to be a little easier to be gay today. In this politically correct society that we live in. It must be easier. Then again, I wouldn't asssume to understand what gay people have to deal with. I just know how it was years ago, it has to be a little easier today.
The first time I ever had someone gay hit on me, I felt the same way you did, a bit insulted. I thought "do I look like a lesbian? how would she know it was okay to hit on me?" Because it never happened to me before, and I figured you'd have to have the 'look' in order for them to sense it's okay to go there. I brought this up once on a discussion forum and they literally hung me for feeling this way and called me a homophobe. It's not everyday that I run into people who are openly gay & then make passes at you, so when it happens the first time it is strange and shocking.
Yes, I thought that too. I'm not angry, but shocked by it. What exactly is the signal you are getting from me that would make you think I go that way? I am about as hetero as you get. I thought it was obvious.
One time, I literally spent hours talking to a woman about travel and diving (scuba - not the other type!). This was at a wedding and my date was a groomsman and had a separate seating. I just thought she was really friendly. At the end of the night, she came up to me grabbed my hand (I thought to shake it) but instead she did this, let's say, "fast fingering" thing inside my palm (is that a common lesbian "sign" - sorry, am a total novice about this). She then pulled me close, kissed me on the neck, and whispered in my ear that she'd like to take me on her next caribbean vacation and do lots of fun things to me. WTF? How did I ever give out the vibe I'd be interested in that sort of thing? Maybe she construed my "diving" talk the wrong way.
Yes, I thought that too. I'm not angry, but shocked by it. What exactly is the signal you are getting from me that would make you think I go that way? I am about as hetero as you get. I thought it was obvious.
One time, I literally spent hours talking to a woman about travel and diving (scuba - not the other type!). This was at a wedding and my date was a groomsman and had a separate seating. I just thought she was really friendly. At the end of the night, she came up to me grabbed my hand (I thought to shake it) but instead she did this, let's say, "fast fingering" thing inside my palm (is that a common lesbian "sign" - sorry, am a total novice about this). She then pulled me close, kissed me on the neck, and whispered in my ear that she'd like to take me on her next caribbean vacation and do lots of fun things to me. WTF? How did I ever give out the vibe I'd be interested in that sort of thing? Maybe she construed my "diving" talk the wrong way.
"WTF" is right. This is not a whole lot different then some dirty old man trying to cop a squeeze. I know this is in the minority of Lesbians but the ones that do it seem to make up for the lack in numbers. I have never seen this behavior in gay men personally.
I was going to say that it's never happened to me, since it's literally never happened to me. There was this incident once when I was in my early 20's when this older lady was sitting with me at the lunch table at work, and she asked me to help her take off her necklace, so I did. But then I don't know what happened, I forgot since it was so long ago, but I remember giving her her necklace, turning around and walking away. I never talked to her again after that incident. I think back on this and I feel my reaction was justified, since I am not homophobic in any way, and have always treated gays and lesbians with all the respect they treat me, it's just that something was off and I felt a little deceived. Other than that, there really has never been an incident where a woman has said she wants to go out with me or anything like that. I think if a woman said she thought I was attractive and wanted to go out with me, I would feel flattered, as long as it's in a respectful way. I feel the same about men.
If another woman hits on me I just say I'm sorry I'm not into women. I guess I should feel flattered but in reality I don't feel much of anything. To me its like someone saying can you pass the salt please. No biggie.
To be honest - I was THRILLED! I always said how lesbians didn't find me attractive - and some of my lesbians would tell me that they would have hit on me but they knew I was straight - and I said, "Too little, too late!" So when I was at this gay bar and a lesbian hit on me - I was ecstatic! I told her that I was straight and married but I was so flattered! I also made sure that my friend, who happens to be gay, was watching so that he could be a witness to my first time getting hit on by a lesbian! He was so proud!
Your friends sound fun, I need to join your crowd!
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
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Quote:
Originally Posted by supermanpansy
I don't get hit on by many gay guys anymore. Atleast not like I used to. When I was in my teens to early twenties, it sort of bothered me. I felt a bit insulted. Like why would you think I'm gay. Not that being gay is a bad thing. It's just you don't want to be associated with things your not. As I matured, it bothered me less. I figured, hey, you can't knock them for giving it try. Now they know I'm not gay, so they'll leave me alone. But once, it almost turned to violence. This guy clearly knew I wasn't gay (or so I thought). We were friends. I was friends with him before I found out he was gay, not that that matters. "Anyway, we were drinking in someones apartment one night and I got up to go somewhere (don't remember where-probably bathroom/ many years ago) and he grabbed me by my belt near my arse. Immediately I turned to him with my fists up and said to him, "if you ever grab me like that again, I'll end you"..We stopped being friends after that. I felt what he did was very innapropriate as well as sexual. Don't grab me near my rear especially when I'm not ueer....I have no problem with gay people. I have a cousin who is one and have had numerous gay friends. People being gay, or gay people never bothered me. Why would they? I don't care who prefers what and why. I figured most people are born that way. However, having said that. I'm not gay and would hope gay people who know that respect that. If someone doesn't and crossess that type of line, then there is no telling what I might do. Depending on their approach. I don't care if someone verbally expresses an interest in me. I can handle that. But don't ever assume, then touch me in any sort of sexual manner. That crossess every line.
Whoa what does 'end you' mean, you'd kill him over it?
Once I saw a telemovie where two guys were just hanging out, late at night, when one of them just grabs the other and passionately kisses him on the lips. The other guy pulls away, pushes him down and starts beating him up! He even kicked him in the nuts when he was down, lol (sorry I don't find it funny). Then he said, 'if you ever try that again I'll kill you.' What disturbed me most about that was the idea that someone could get that angry about it that they'd want to KILL the other person. I must say I felt a little violated with the first incident, but not to the point where I'd want to strike out and beat him to a pulp. It's not like I thought charging him with sexual assault would do anything, I prefer to think he was simply mistaken. As for the second, well, you're bound to find perverts at nude beaches, you can't report all of 'em.
Whoa what does 'end you' mean, you'd kill him over it?
Once I saw a telemovie where two guys were just hanging out, late at night, when one of them just grabs the other and passionately kisses him on the lips. The other guy pulls away, pushes him down and starts beating him up! He even kicked him in the nuts when he was down, lol (sorry I don't find it funny). Then he said, 'if you ever try that again I'll kill you.' What disturbed me most about that was the idea that someone could get that angry about it that they'd want to KILL the other person. I must say I felt a little violated with the first incident, but not to the point where I'd want to strike out and beat him to a pulp. It's not like I thought charging him with sexual assault would do anything, I prefer to think he was simply mistaken. As for the second, well, you're bound to find perverts at nude beaches, you can't report all of 'em.
He grabbed me by one of those loops that a belt goes through pretty much where my arse sits. Enough to where the pants give space to underwear. To me that was very sexual and way out of bounds. What I meant by "I'll end you" is that I would have hurt him bad. Not kill him. That's not me, but I would have given him a beatin for sure. Sorry if that shakes anyones image of me. But that's how I grew up. I was wild. Some of you know this about me. Some of you don't. I've definately tamed down. You have to remember I was in my early twenties when that happened. I wasn't that mature.
Also, the guy should have known I wasn't like that. That's what pissed me off. For Christ's sake, I was dating a girl at that time. So for him to even have the bal ls enough to make a pass at me physically when he knew I could kick the crap out of him didn't make any sense. Of course this guy wasn't normal or ordinary by any shot. He was one of those types of people who become camellions..He adapts to any environment and lies, lies, lies..The fun thing about hanging out with him was that he was so unpredictable just as I was in my early twenties. You have to understand that I spent a good portion of my early twenties in California. I did alot of drugs and alcohol. That's how I used to be.. But I didn't count on that ever happening. I guess he even shocked me. I was the sort of unpredictable that was just wild..He was everything unpredictable. Please don't ask for a difference because I couldn't explain it if I tried..
Last edited by supermanpansy; 03-14-2012 at 07:39 PM..
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It's not everyday that I run into people who are openly gay & then make passes at you, so when it happens the first time it is strange and shocking.
