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I am divorced and a mother of a three year old. I am 24 years old.
I was and am a stay at home mom... I teach my son preschool at home right now. My ex husband wanted to continue this as what we thought was best for her and also we thought changing everything at once was not.
I focus a lot on him, and 3.5 years old he is already writing and some reading and counting to 100 and doing low number addition... and is incredibly social. He gets along well with other kids and feels secure with or without me around (it has been commented on). He is creative (you should hear his long, involved stories! We just made his first "book" today and he's sharing it with everyone) and patient- so I feel like I am doing a good job with what I am doing. He seems quite advanced and well adjusted.
I skimp and save and it's hard to make things meet- though I prioritize some activities for my son so he doesn't go without, and I do keep up a gym membership as a luxury so I can exercise each day. I don't have much else - a neighbor lets me use their cable internet even to be online. I have been trying to find work at home jobs, though you know how that can be!
I still would, if I were to have everything I wanted, home school my son (and any future ones my future husband wanted) as the original plan was... and be the one responsible for all cleaning and meals, of course... until grown and then return to work as a nanny until retirement is necessary. That is not to say that I would not work - I would stay with a man who I loved who made nothing and work if he was also family focused and loving and a good influence for my son, and I would not date a jerk no matter how much money he had and how much he wanted a stay at home partner. And I don't need a lot in the material sense. (I know the home school thing doesn't make sense to everyone but I felt bored in school despite the gifted program, and my husband hated skipping a grade in his school that had no gifted program when he was already young. Maybe it is some projection. I know she'd be fine where-ever she is because she's a great kid, but I can't help but feel I can do more without 20 other kids to focus on)
I have not looked much because I'm not really ready to date, but I've just started looking around with no intention of following through as an "in case" I want to in the future and it seems like no men want to date a single mom, much less one without a career.
Honestly, is it hopeless?
If it is, that's fine. I'd rather be alone than sacrifice doing what I think is best for my son. I could go back to school and work full time - lord knows I worked full time and went to school and took care of my elderly father before he died right when I first met my ex husband - but for me, the money and whatever is less valuable than my son having that time with his mother. Especially since his father works a lot and while I never refuse visitation, it is limited.
I just won't waste some of my limited time putting myself out there even when I start to feel ready to date again. I've had friends just rearing to set me up (women are like that! Most my friends are married women.) I am just curious how people out there feel about it.
Is it true that women who are family focused are just not valued/wanted these days?
(I must have some more issues with this than I care to admit based on the rambling. For those who skipped all the text, the root question is - Ever under any circumstances would you date a single stay at home mom?)
I am divorced and a mother of a three year old. I am 24 years old.
I was and am a stay at home mom... I teach my son preschool at home right now. My ex husband wanted to continue this as what we thought was best for her and also we thought changing everything at once was not.
I focus a lot on him, and 3.5 years old he is already writing and some reading and counting to 100 and doing low number addition... and is incredibly social. He gets along well with other kids and feels secure with or without me around (it has been commented on). He is creative (you should hear his long, involved stories! We just made his first "book" today and he's sharing it with everyone) and patient- so I feel like I am doing a good job with what I am doing. He seems quite advanced and well adjusted.
I skimp and save and it's hard to make things meet- though I prioritize some activities for my son so he doesn't go without, and I do keep up a gym membership as a luxury so I can exercise each day. I don't have much else - a neighbor lets me use their cable internet even to be online. I have been trying to find work at home jobs, though you know how that can be!
I still would, if I were to have everything I wanted, home school my son (and any future ones my future husband wanted) as the original plan was... and be the one responsible for all cleaning and meals, of course... until grown and then return to work as a nanny until retirement is necessary. That is not to say that I would not work - I would stay with a man who I loved who made nothing and work if he was also family focused and loving and a good influence for my son, and I would not date a jerk no matter how much money he had and how much he wanted a stay at home partner. And I don't need a lot in the material sense. (I know the home school thing doesn't make sense to everyone but I felt bored in school despite the gifted program, and my husband hated skipping a grade in his school that had no gifted program when he was already young. Maybe it is some projection. I know she'd be fine where-ever she is because she's a great kid, but I can't help but feel I can do more without 20 other kids to focus on)
I have not looked much because I'm not really ready to date, but I've just started looking around with no intention of following through as an "in case" I want to in the future and it seems like no men want to date a single mom, much less one without a career.
Honestly, is it hopeless?
If it is, that's fine. I'd rather be alone than sacrifice doing what I think is best for my son. I could go back to school and work full time - lord knows I worked full time and went to school and took care of my elderly father before he died right when I first met my ex husband - but for me, the money and whatever is less valuable than my son having that time with his mother. Especially since his father works a lot and while I never refuse visitation, it is limited.
I just won't waste some of my limited time putting myself out there even when I start to feel ready to date again. I've had friends just rearing to set me up (women are like that! Most my friends are married women.) I am just curious how people out there feel about it.
Is it true that women who are family focused are just not valued/wanted these days?
(I must have some more issues with this than I care to admit based on the rambling. For those who skipped all the text, the root question is - Ever under any circumstances would you date a single stay at home mom?)
I am a wee bit confused by the entire post. Perhaps you should invest in pen and paper and write all of this in a journal to yourself before posting anything here.
As far as the dating goes it is generally a good idea to let it happen when you are ready and move on from there. Life is not a guarantee even when you plan every detail of how you want it to go. Don't do anything until you are ready and deal with the employment outside of home issue when and if you need to if things change with your ex-husband, child support, alimony etc. Be prepared but not regimented to a concrete way it has to be.
Why do you have a gym membership, that is luxury. You can exercise at home.
I personally do not want a relationship with a single mom ever and yes that is a big red flag but you are not hopeless. Are you very attractive? How long were you with him? Cause of divorce?
You had a kid at age 20? Why? At that age, you should be in college or pursueing a career.
Who are they setting you up with?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jessiss
I am divorced and a mother of a three year old. I am 24 years old.
I was and am a stay at home mom... I teach my son preschool at home right now. My ex husband wanted to continue this as what we thought was best for her and also we thought changing everything at once was not.
I focus a lot on him, and 3.5 years old he is already writing and some reading and counting to 100 and doing low number addition... and is incredibly social. He gets along well with other kids and feels secure with or without me around (it has been commented on). He is creative (you should hear his long, involved stories! We just made his first "book" today and he's sharing it with everyone) and patient- so I feel like I am doing a good job with what I am doing. He seems quite advanced and well adjusted.
I skimp and save and it's hard to make things meet- though I prioritize some activities for my son so he doesn't go without, and I do keep up a gym membership as a luxury so I can exercise each day. I don't have much else - a neighbor lets me use their cable internet even to be online. I have been trying to find work at home jobs, though you know how that can be!
I still would, if I were to have everything I wanted, home school my son (and any future ones my future husband wanted) as the original plan was... and be the one responsible for all cleaning and meals, of course... until grown and then return to work as a nanny until retirement is necessary. That is not to say that I would not work - I would stay with a man who I loved who made nothing and work if he was also family focused and loving and a good influence for my son, and I would not date a jerk no matter how much money he had and how much he wanted a stay at home partner. And I don't need a lot in the material sense. (I know the home school thing doesn't make sense to everyone but I felt bored in school despite the gifted program, and my husband hated skipping a grade in his school that had no gifted program when he was already young. Maybe it is some projection. I know she'd be fine where-ever she is because she's a great kid, but I can't help but feel I can do more without 20 other kids to focus on)
I have not looked much because I'm not really ready to date, but I've just started looking around with no intention of following through as an "in case" I want to in the future and it seems like no men want to date a single mom, much less one without a career.
Honestly, is it hopeless?
If it is, that's fine. I'd rather be alone than sacrifice doing what I think is best for my son. I could go back to school and work full time - lord knows I worked full time and went to school and took care of my elderly father before he died right when I first met my ex husband - but for me, the money and whatever is less valuable than my son having that time with his mother. Especially since his father works a lot and while I never refuse visitation, it is limited.
I just won't waste some of my limited time putting myself out there even when I start to feel ready to date again. I've had friends just rearing to set me up (women are like that! Most my friends are married women.) I am just curious how people out there feel about it.
Is it true that women who are family focused are just not valued/wanted these days?
(I must have some more issues with this than I care to admit based on the rambling. For those who skipped all the text, the root question is - Ever under any circumstances would you date a single stay at home mom?)
Is it true that women who are family focused are just not valued/wanted these days?
I value this just about more than anything. I'd much rather have a woman who was more focused on the home, the children and raising them correctly than going out and partying all of the time. Of course, I would like if said person had a job (even if it were only part-time), but still maintained the importance of home and family. (because of my average wages and family insurance is so ridiculously expensive)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jessiss
(I must have some more issues with this than I care to admit based on the rambling. For those who skipped all the text, the root question is - Ever under any circumstances would you date a single stay at home mom?)
As someone who has basically the same values (at least from what I read); I wouldn't care if you were a stay-at-home mother. So yes, I'm sure there are plenty of men like me out there. The hard part is finding them. I know I don't put myself out there much.
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