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For women that have chosen either one, do you regret it, or are you at peace with your decision. This is for women that wanted to get married and have children, but couldn't get married, but wanted to have children, or could not see themselves as single mothers, so just opted out of motherhood altogether. I have a cousin that always wanted to get married and have children. She was unable to get married, and now can no longer have her own children. She said simply that no one wanted to marry her, and she never wanted to be a single mom. She is quite sad about it, but she spends a lot of time with her nieces and nephews. All of of sisters have children, none are married, and just basically struggle. For women that want children, opting out of motherhood seems to be hard to live with, but being a single mother is hard too.
Both my cousin and I never wanted kids, and we're very happy with that choice. She's divorced and in an LTR, I'm single. We're both fine. Childbirth and motherhood aren't for everyone. I'm glad society is finally more flexible in that regard.
Both my cousin and I never wanted kids, and we're very happy with that choice. She's divorced and in an LTR, I'm single. We're both fine. Childbirth and motherhood aren't for everyone. I'm glad society is finally more flexible in that regard.
Knew an ethnic woman who really wanted to have kids. She was barking up the wrong tree looking for husbands (collegiate-type clean-cut American guys) who didn't respond in kind. She told me she was thinking about doing it on her own. I asked her to consider what that would involve and what she would do if she wound up having boys. She told me that all "the guys in our (then) circle of friends" could serve as role-models. I knew that included me, among other male friends/acquaintances. I said nothing.
Fast forward. A dolt from her home country rapidly enters the picture. Soon, we all received wedding invitations. Boy, that was fast! Well, she got 2 kids out of the deal ... and she supports her kids, as well as her husband who has no skills.
No, I don't believe in deliberate single parenting as a selfish vehicle toward self-actualization. Think of the kid(s) first.
She told me that all "the guys in our (then) circle of friends" could serve as role-models. I knew that included me, among other male friends/acquaintances. I said nothing.
Don't you just hate that? That's happened to me before with a friend (at the time) who had a kid and kept bringing her son over and kept trying to push him on to me. Then when I called privately expressed my opinion against her trying to always make him be around me. She then starts crying and calling me a terrible person. At least ask me, "Hey, I can't teach him everything about being a man. Do you mind if you take him under your wing a little like big brother or father figure what have you?" Don't just thrust the responsibility on me. I didn't mess around and make a mistake.
Awww. I have a friend who wanted to get married and have a child but no marriage happened so she had a child without being married because she really wanted one (it was planned) and she is so happy and in love with her child now. She is not struggling though so that really helps. I think a lot of women who have children then struggle financially do so because they didn't plan to be in that situation.
First of all, all this crap about kids needing two parents is just that, crap.
There are plenty of successful individuals who came from single parents.
Second of all, people think having a baby is all cute and wonderful. Well it can be for isolated moments but the rest of it is hard, hard, unthanked slog, often while you have to go out and earn a living as well.
The cute little buttons then grow up into surly, unpleasant teenagers who blame you for EVERYTHING and you have to cope with that alone too.
Single parenthood is the most difficult job in the universe and I wish people would stop romanticising it.
5 years after having my son, we split up. I didn't plan on being a single mom, but given the choice now, looking back, I'd never choose to not have him. I can't even picture my life without him. He's been nothing but fun, laughter and smiles since the day he was born.
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