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Wife and I are moving house soon and the new house has a 600 sqft detached guest house that is about 300ft from the main house. Being ex-pats We get a lot of guests who stay with us for 4-6 weeks, so having a guest house is a huge plus.
My MIL is coming to visit for a month. She does not like to conform to our situation, but expects us to cater to her wants/routines. She also tries to assume authority while in our house (she has always called the shots in her house - it's just the way it's always been and you better accept it). Don't get me wrong, she is a nice lady in a lot of ways but only if you play by her rules.
Anyway my wife told me she (MIL) won't want to stay in the guest house. We won't have a bedroom for her in the main house, but the wife thinks she will want to stay there anyway and say something like, "Oh.. no I don't like that, I'll just stay in the loft it's much nicer" when we show her the guest house.
What do you guys think? Is it rude to ask 'close' family to stay in the guest house? Ultimately though, she will view it as her decision where she sleeps.
Wife and I are moving house soon and the new house has a 600 sqft detached guest house that is about 300ft from the main house. Being ex-pats We get a lot of guests who stay with us for 4-6 weeks, so having a guest house is a huge plus.
My MIL is coming to visit for a month. She does not like to conform to our situation, but expects us to cater to her wants/routines. She also tries to assume authority while in our house (she has always called the shots in her house - it's just the way it's always been and you better accept it). Don't get me wrong, she is a nice lady in a lot of ways but only if you play by her rules.
Anyway my wife told me she (MIL) won't want to stay in the guest house. We won't have a bedroom for her in the main house, but the wife thinks she will want to stay there anyway and say something like, "Oh.. no I don't like that, I'll just stay in the loft it's much nicer" when we show her the guest house.
What do you guys think? Is it rude to ask 'close' family to stay in the guest house? Ultimately though, she will view it as her decision where she sleeps.
Any suggestions?
Yes. Send her to a hotel. If not, The guest house it is. She sounds like she will run wild on you and then everyone will be miserable. Nuff said.
How is it rude to offer her a quiet, private space where she can spend time with you guys? It's not like she's going to be caged up in the guest house for the whole day; I'm sure you and your wife are going to spend some time with her.
How is it rude to offer her a quiet, private space where she can spend time with you guys? It's not like she's going to be caged up in the guest house for the whole day; I'm sure you and your wife are going to spend some time with her.
You never know what he's dealing with... Sounds like a milmonster.
If she doesn't like the guest house, I'd tell her you need your privacy since she's staying so long. I wouldn't give her a choice - I'd tell her the guest house is set up for her, and it's that or she can get a long-stay hotel room.
A hotel is out of the question as she doesn't drive. I end up spending all day and night with her because I'm a stay at home father and she obviously (and rightly so) wants to spend time with her grand kids. But she doesn't want to be responsible for them (food allergies), so I can't leave the house and escape for a few hours.
The weird thing is she has been my MIL for about close to two decades. We always visited her up until recently when we had children. Since it was her house and we were the guests I never had a problem with her and her routines. I had no idea that she would be so imposing. Before we had kids she never interfered and I would have said we had an excellent relationship.
BTW the guest house is a brand new renovation and it's not like we're going to be sticking her in a dump. She just likes to be close to everything that's going on so she can control what happens.
You don't have a guesthouse now and she knows that. Tell her that one of the reasons you bought the house you did is because it has a nice guesthouse for guests to stay in, including her. Tell her you fixed it up with her in mind.
I've never understood the aversion to guest houses. I suggested to my ex that we buy a home with a guest house for his mom (as a compromise to her living with us) and the way he reacted, you'd have thought I suggested we chain her to a pole and toss her table scraps for dinner.
I think a guest house is great. It would give the MIL privacy and you privacy. If she can't appreciate that then maybe she doesn't need to visit.
I would make it a big deal; "We are so excited to have you stay in the guest house - we just love it! Isn't it marvelous!"
Then put some flowers in there for her and stock the frdge with her favorite drinks. You can be excitedly showing her all this as you show her the room. Approach it as though you're offering her a room in the Taj Mahal. : )
Display no doubt or concern - monster in laws can smell doubt from a mile away!
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