To: cheaters (cheater, younger, family, friend)

[usayit]

Originally Posted by GKelly

Is cheating hereditary?

I believe there is a studies that indicates that hereditary component to infidelity. I personally believe it but it might be a bit complex to really boil it down to a yes or no answer.

Certain mental/emotional issues can be inherited. Some specific illnesses are associated with a tendency to cheat.

There are also studies that indicate that sexual drives is also influenced by genes. If this person is matched up with a person with unusually low sexual drive, then there is not only a stressor in the relationship but also a temptation to cheat.


However, I am firm believer that many of this predisposes us to certain behaviors but doesn't necessarily mean that the end result fated. I believe environmental has as much influence in our lives as genes.

[YaFace]

A lot of cheating is about amount of temptation. A guy who works with horny 25 year old bikini models all day will have a lot more temptation to cheat than someone who works at a nursing home, etc. (I realize this is an extreme example, but you know what I am laying down)

[oh-eve]

Originally Posted by augiedogie

Its simple. Many people cheat because they don't get at home what they need, usually sex or love.

This.

[TabulaRasa]

Or because they want it from somebody else even though it's readily available at home.

[halfamazing]

Same sex is now legal. Remember, it was ILLEGAL some time ago. These are all man-made laws, principles, and ideals. Why can't we mate with animals? Same reason- man made rules.

When two consenting adults agree to have open relationships, but fulfil their every desire with person other than their own spouse or mate, it is ok.

Casting judgment is personal will. Smoking a pack of cigarettes does much more harm than cheating does on various levels. But yet, we are quick to save and treat a cancer stick patient on their death bed.

It's all hypocrisy. We just make up rules that fit our own selfish needs. We didn't want to share our goats and cows with other sleezy farmers, or our mushroom tips and sugar walls and so we came up with rules.

[Asgardian]

Oh the forbidden pleasures that leads people to cheat.


Generally they say the sex has died down. It has become monotonous, she or he is not into it anymore..


Welcome to life but some people needs the fire again and again. No reason to go find it outside of your marriage. Respect the institution and the vows you made.

[Rkstar71]

Originally Posted by TabulaRasa

Or because they want it from somebody else even though it's readily available at home.

Every time you're hungry could you have just spaghetti every time you eat?
Maybe you can change the sauce or "spice it up" with some dried red pepper.

Spaghetti is good. But could you have it every single meal, even for a snack, swearing off every other food there is?

What about vacation? Would you go to the same vacation spot every time for the rest of your life? Never visiting a different vacation spot?

Some may say cheating on your S/O is different. Ok, but the prinple is the same. Variety is the spice of life.

Some people don't want to have "Spaghetti" for every single meal. They want to eat something different sonetimes.

[TabulaRasa]

Originally Posted by Rkstar71

Every time you're hungry could you have just spaghetti every time you eat?
Maybe you can change the sauce or "spice it up" with some dried red pepper.

Spaghetti is good. But could you have it every single meal, even for a snack, swearing off every other food there is?

What about vacation? Would you go to the same vacation spot every time for the rest of your life? Never visiting a different vacation spot?

Some may say cheating on your S/O is different. Ok, but the prinple is the same. Variety is the spice of life.

So don't commit to one person in the first place.

[usayit]

Originally Posted by augiedogie

Its simple. Many people cheat because they don't get at home what they need, usually sex or love.

I second this.... A lot of people think infidelity is a one sided issue (it can be... some cheat no matter what) but often both contributed to the ultimate end result.

The more I read about interpersonal relationships, the more I realize that below the surface is a very complex mechanism.

[Frihed89]

Originally Posted by SVTRay

Agreed, all cheating does is destroy relationships and hurts people.

If a person's needs isn't being met, they need to sit down with their partner and explain the situation and try to come to a solution. Looking for what ever it is missing from your relationship in an outside partner is not the answer. Your partner is eventually going to learn the truth and even if it's not your intent, your partner is going to be destroyed and your relationship will never be the same again.

I agree fully about the pain and destruction caused by infidelity.

I had many of these talks with my ex. They went nowhere. Whatever she and I did to try to change was never enough for either of us. For years, we both conducted affairs for all manner of reasons - unhappiness, revenge, confirmation, the thrill, etc. We should have divorced before all this started.

I married again after a few years and history has not repeated itself for 20 years, not because I fear the despair and pain of being unfaithful, but rather because none of the past reasons to do so have ever reappeared in this relationship.