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I have been divorced now for about 3 years. My ex husband was pretty abusive to me and not a happy person. I have been in therapy for quite some time now and have pretty much dedicated these past couple of years to my family and getting myself back on track again.
In late summer, I finally felt I was ready to begin dating again. I signed myself up on an online dating site and met someone who I liked very much. We've been seeing each other for about 5 months now. We have a lot in common, and he's a wonderful guy, but my problem is he works an awful lot. He's a police officer, works 3rd shift and as much overtime he can take. He has custody of his 17 year old son and has been coaching his baseball team for years, which occupies a lot of his time. He told me he hadn't been in a serious relationship in a very long time and the last woman he was with left him because he didn't spend enough time with her.
We spent Sunday together, but before that I hadn't seen him for about 2 weeks. Am I being selfish wanting more time with him? I'm trying to look at the "whole" picture here. I want something long term, which is why I chose online dating. The only thing I don't really like about him is that he's a little emotionally unavailable, but then will surprise me with something totally out of the blue. He's said that he's just not someone that's good with words.
Is it worth it to continue to see him? It's been so long since I've been with someone else.
I don't know but I'm interested to hear what responses you receive. I too am seeing someone who's life is just too busy. He works very long hours and is going to school. Before this, it had been 4 years since I'd been in a serious relationship and I've been wondering if I'm being selfish, if I should just give him more time to fit me in to his life (we've only been seeing each other for a few months) or if I should just call it quits. I too want something long term and it's difficult for me to build a relationship with someone I don't see.
I think it'd be incredibly difficult to carry on a serious relationship with someone you only see once every two weeks. He has his priorities in order in the sense that he's responsible in terms of his job and son, but the relationship aspect of his life seems to take a backseat. How often would you like to see someone you're in a relationship with? I think you have to begin by asking yourself how often you want to see him and how often he's willing to make time for you. If these two don't mesh, then you should consider other options.
Personally, I need more time with my significant other, but you have to decide what works for you. Good luck!
I have been divorced now for about 3 years. My ex husband was pretty abusive to me and not a happy person. I have been in therapy for quite some time now and have pretty much dedicated these past couple of years to my family and getting myself back on track again.
In late summer, I finally felt I was ready to begin dating again. I signed myself up on an online dating site and met someone who I liked very much. We've been seeing each other for about 5 months now. We have a lot in common, and he's a wonderful guy, but my problem is he works an awful lot. He's a police officer, works 3rd shift and as much overtime he can take. He has custody of his 17 year old son and has been coaching his baseball team for years, which occupies a lot of his time. He told me he hadn't been in a serious relationship in a very long time and the last woman he was with left him because he didn't spend enough time with her.
We spent Sunday together, but before that I hadn't seen him for about 2 weeks. Am I being selfish wanting more time with him? I'm trying to look at the "whole" picture here. I want something long term, which is why I chose online dating. The only thing I don't really like about him is that he's a little emotionally unavailable, but then will surprise me with something totally out of the blue. He's said that he's just not someone that's good with words.
Is it worth it to continue to see him? It's been so long since I've been with someone else.
If YOU need a partner who has more time for you, then continuing to see one who does not will NEVER make you happy. Period.
No amout of analyzation will change that basic, fundamental fact.
We normally see each other about 2 - 3 times a week. These past couple weeks have been busier than usual for him. I also have teenage children and work a full time job. I have activities that I normally do during the week to keep myself busy such as the gym and yoga. I'll give him one thing though. He will make it a point to spend at least one of his days off with me.
I have been divorced now for about 3 years. My ex husband was pretty abusive to me and not a happy person. I have been in therapy for quite some time now and have pretty much dedicated these past couple of years to my family and getting myself back on track again.
In late summer, I finally felt I was ready to begin dating again. I signed myself up on an online dating site and met someone who I liked very much. We've been seeing each other for about 5 months now. We have a lot in common, and he's a wonderful guy, but my problem is he works an awful lot. He's a police officer, works 3rd shift and as much overtime he can take. He has custody of his 17 year old son and has been coaching his baseball team for years, which occupies a lot of his time. He told me he hadn't been in a serious relationship in a very long time and the last woman he was with left him because he didn't spend enough time with her.
We spent Sunday together, but before that I hadn't seen him for about 2 weeks. Am I being selfish wanting more time with him? I'm trying to look at the "whole" picture here. I want something long term, which is why I chose online dating. The only thing I don't really like about him is that he's a little emotionally unavailable, but then will surprise me with something totally out of the blue. He's said that he's just not someone that's good with words.
Is it worth it to continue to see him? It's been so long since I've been with someone else.
He's a police officer... I know enough police officers to know that if you want a relationship with him, you have to accept that he's married to his job FIRST.
They are sometimes a little emotionally detached but that's a consequence of their job, over time they learn to be that way. You should be hoping that he's not a hot-head and that he channels his emotion into constructive things.
If you can't handle his job being a priority then he's not the one you should be dating.
As for spending time with him, at least you get him on an off day.
I have been divorced now for about 3 years. My ex husband was pretty abusive to me and not a happy person. I have been in therapy for quite some time now and have pretty much dedicated these past couple of years to my family and getting myself back on track again.
In late summer, I finally felt I was ready to begin dating again. I signed myself up on an online dating site and met someone who I liked very much. We've been seeing each other for about 5 months now. We have a lot in common, and he's a wonderful guy, but my problem is he works an awful lot. He's a police officer, works 3rd shift and as much overtime he can take. He has custody of his 17 year old son and has been coaching his baseball team for years, which occupies a lot of his time. He told me he hadn't been in a serious relationship in a very long time and the last woman he was with left him because he didn't spend enough time with her.
We spent Sunday together, but before that I hadn't seen him for about 2 weeks. Am I being selfish wanting more time with him? I'm trying to look at the "whole" picture here. I want something long term, which is why I chose online dating. The only thing I don't really like about him is that he's a little emotionally unavailable, but then will surprise me with something totally out of the blue. He's said that he's just not someone that's good with words.
Is it worth it to continue to see him? It's been so long since I've been with someone else.
Son
Job
You
This is the reality and I doubt it will change. Decide if you want it.
We normally see each other about 2 - 3 times a week. These past couple weeks have been busier than usual for him. I also have teenage children and work a full time job. I have activities that I normally do during the week to keep myself busy such as the gym and yoga. I'll give him one thing though. He will make it a point to spend at least one of his days off with me.
If the two week lapse is not typical and you normally see him 2-3 times a week I'd say that is adequate for a relationship at the 5 month mark. However, that is just my preference.
How is he when you are together besides him being emotionally distant? Keep in mind that if the relationship worked out and you moved in together, you'd naturally see him a lot more often.
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