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My best friend has been financially independent since she left home, at 21 or 23 or so. She is very tough girl, believes in doing things herself, she is the type to suffer in silence, rather suffer than ask for help. She is like this!
She dropped out of school, college, because got offered a job, the type of job people go to university for. She worked there for years and then realized that she wants to finish college and study something else. Problem is she is back to being pretty poor. The job she had before was running a successful but small art gallery! She is excited on her future, a new phase and start in her life. So she fell in love with a man last year and just realized he is rich. She found out last month he is very wealthy. They are serious about each other and even talk marriage. He made his own money but also his family is super wealthy too! He learned that she wants to go back to university and major in something else and finish that degree and have a new career. He knows she now doesn't have much money and savings are minimal. He wants to pay for everything! She is mad and told me she rather work as a maid and pay her own education rather than have a man pay for everything! She thinks if he pays for everything and break up she will owe him this money back. But I tell her its not true. And she believes if she does marry him, he will look at her not as an independent woman, as needy. My advice for her is to let him pay for her education, this is a good opportunity to better her life. She will have none of it! Advice? Should she let him pay for her tuition fees? How do I convince her its a good idea or is it not a good idea? She would have to work in a job she has no more passion for to save up (which will take months I think) for her school fees instead of doing it now with his help!
The guy is a fool for offering to pay for her college. I would never pay for college or any bills of a GF. No chance. I'm hesitant to give money to family/friends, so no way I would give it to a GF
The guy is a fool for offering to pay for her college. I would never pay for college or any bills of a GF. No chance. I'm hesitant to give money to family/friends, so no way I would give it to a GF
really? wow...even if you were very in love?
thanks for your feedback.
My best friend has been financially independent since she left home, at 21 or 23 or so. She is very tough girl, believes in doing things herself, she is the type to suffer in silence, rather suffer than ask for help. She is like this!
She dropped out of school, college, because got offered a job, the type of job people go to university for. She worked there for years and then realized that she wants to finish college and study something else. Problem is she is back to being pretty poor. The job she had before was running a successful but small art gallery! She is excited on her future, a new phase and start in her life. So she fell in love with a man last year and just realized he is rich. She found out last month he is very wealthy. They are serious about each other and even talk marriage. He made his own money but also his family is super wealthy too! He learned that she wants to go back to university and major in something else and finish that degree and have a new career. He knows she now doesn't have much money and savings are minimal. He wants to pay for everything! She is mad and told me she rather work as a maid and pay her own education rather than have a man pay for everything! She thinks if he pays for everything and break up she will owe him this money back. But I tell her its not true. And she believes if she does marry him, he will look at her not as an independent woman, as needy. My advice for her is to let him pay for her education, this is a good opportunity to better her life. She will have none of it! Advice? Should she let him pay for her tuition fees? How do I convince her its a good idea or is it not a good idea? She would have to work in a job she has no more passion for to save up (which will take months I think) for her school fees instead of doing it now with his help!
The right thing for your friend to do would be to sign a promissory note to the man obligating her to pay him back after she graduates from college. Since it is just a loan, if they break up there won't be any problems. If she gets married to this guy, then he can tear up the note as a wedding gift to her.
It is the man's duty in a marriage to protect and provide. I'm sure that if he marries her he will be happy to take care of her. If she wants to remain an "independent woman", then she needs to remain single.
Either way, I'd accept the money as a loan and move on with my life. She really needs to work on her money management skills. If she had a good job for many years, she should not be broke. Apparently, she is not good at saving money or managing it well.
He doesn't want to give it to her as a loan, he wants to help her.
And no she is not good with money, she lives as there is no tomorrow .
Not that she buys Chanel outfits lol, she is still young, 35, and travels quiet a lot! So lives life like an adventure!
And she has expressed this to him that she pays for school and that is that.
But he insists all the time.
She already said she wants to work and pay for her own education (like many people do). She doesn't need a loan from him.
She won't be traveling much or going on many adventures once she's in school.
I hate to say it but I think perhaps she doesn't trust that you two will always be together and some people would rather owe a bank for a loan than a person. If you two were married already, it would be a different story.
He admires her for her independence. I have a feeling he has had bad experiences with women who use him for her money but I don't know for sure. He always expresses to me how unique she is because of her independence and strong willed personality!
But she even said if they were married already she still won't let him pay for her education!
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. She is like this!
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