Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Thanks all for your input. I know for many dating sucks in general, doesn't matter the age group but I also I know that there is a self-improvement component to it, so I just wanted to get some feedback.
If you are attractive with a good personality you will do fine. If your bitter and a woman or man hater it's best to just stay home.
I'd imagine it's like dating at any other age. If you're good looking and/or highly succesful, you'll do very well. If you aren't good looking and/or highly successful, you'll have problems.
You owe it to yourself and your wife to first deal with the relationship you are in before you move on to the next thing. I say this because being old I have seen some couples on the skids fall back into love. Its a crap shoot but it happens for some that make the effort. Whether it ends well or not though the impasse you have reached has to be resolved before you move on.
Should you end up out there what you will find depends on you. I have been avoiding any committed relationship but I suspect that eventually when the thing that I lost finds me I will probably again seek one. Or perhaps more accurately it will find me when I become open to it. For now I find that there are many women and opportunities and I am having a lot of fun which to be honest I'm not wanting to give up just yet. Still, when it comes down to it I cant remember in all my life every being in a better place than when I was holding my love and nothing else mattered and everything in the world was right.
Think carefully. Once the thing is done that cannot be undone you can only look back in regret at the moment that was lost.
Well, I would like to offer a suggestion. As a 44 year old woman who has dated ( I have been divorced for 15 years) I have many people have baggage at this age. If you are okay with having children again your best bet would be younger women. The one very important piece of advice I would have for you is to make certain you are not leaving your marriage thinking you will find someone right away. People at all ages have so much baggage. I would also ask that you make sure you are completely healed before looking for someone else. If you read my earlier post you will understand why.
Quote:
Originally Posted by cjawalt
So, my marriage may be at a cross roads, it happens in all marriages and we may get through it, or not. Both want each other to be happy but happiness together may no longer be a viable option. Who knows, but we have no kids and I starting to face the reality of possibly being single again. I was single until my mid-30s and had a great bachelorhood, so the possiblity of getting some of that liberty and lifestyle back has peaked my curiousity. But now I'm in my 40s and see me still being single into my early 50s since I won't be so eager to jump the broom again for various reasons, as you can imagine.
Can any of you guys tell me what it's like being single and dating again for this age group? Women can chime in too since getting your feedback could likewise be useful. And, yes, I intend on dating younger women but I'm also open to dating women with children too. Thoughts?
You owe it to yourself and your wife to first deal with the relationship you are in before you move on to the next thing. I say this because being old I have seen some couples on the skids fall back into love. Its a crap shoot but it happens for some that make the effort. Whether it ends well or not though the impasse you have reached has to be resolved before you move on.
Should you end up out there what you will find depends on you. I have been avoiding any committed relationship but I suspect that eventually when the thing that I lost finds me I will probably again seek one. Or perhaps more accurately it will find me when I become open to it. For now I find that there are many women and opportunities and I am having a lot of fun which to be honest I'm not wanting to give up just yet. Still, when it comes down to it I cant remember in all my life every being in a better place than when I was holding my love and nothing else mattered and everything in the world was right.
Think carefully. Once the thing is done that cannot be undone you can only look back in regret at the moment that was lost.
crabman, you are wise in your counsel, and I wish my circumstances were otherwise. But this is a situation where, as they say, I didn't see it coming and despite my deepest desire to save what I have, particularly since it involves "till death do us part" vows, my wife thinks the grass is greener. . . and, of course, I'm at fault, as well as her since there enough blame to share. But it takes two to tango and I'm at the acceptance stage as far as the outcome. I could drag this out until our feelings get strong and volatile, or chose to part ways amicable and let her find her happiness. The bottom line is I don't want to be married to someone who doesn't want to be married to me. So, unfortunately, I have no other choice but to find my happiness elsewhere. Like I said, life was fairly good as a bachelor, I tried being married, and it seems like my only option is getting back to the dating and mating game. Yes, many will say I'm jumping the gun, but part of saving or going through this process, is to man up and plow forward, i.e., controlling one's destination seems to have a therapeutic value regardless of the outcome.
crabman, you are wise in your counsel, and I wish my circumstances were otherwise. But this is a situation where, as they say, I didn't see it coming and despite my deepest desire to save what I have, particularly since it involves "till death do us part" vows, my wife thinks the grass is greener. . . and, of course, I'm at fault, as well as her since there enough blame to share. But it takes two to tango and I'm at the acceptance stage as far as the outcome. I could drag this out until our feelings get strong and volatile, or chose to part ways amicable and let her find her happiness. The bottom line is I don't want to be married to someone who doesn't want to be married to me. So, unfortunately, I have no other choice but to find my happiness elsewhere. Like I said, life was fairly good as a bachelor, I tried being married, and it seems like my only option is getting back to the dating and mating game. Yes, many will say I'm jumping the gun, but part of saving or going through this process, is to man up and plow forward, i.e., controlling one's destination seems to have a therapeutic value regardless of the outcome.
That was a little more descriptive than your first post. If it cant work then it cant work and that is your resolution. See it to the end. Her path seldom pans out and mostly these things serve to sever a marriage rather than anything else. Keep your chin up.
That was a little more descriptive than your first post. If it cant work then it cant work and that is your resolution. See it to the end. Her path seldom pans out and mostly these things serve to sever a marriage rather than anything else. Keep your chin up.
Yep, that was probably more that I would have like to reveal online but your thoughts triggered the response, unlike some others who had implied questionable motives on my part. Funny to see the variations in male and female responses but somewhat expected given my comments about dating younger women. FYI, I want kids at some point without having to look for other alternatives to the natural experience. And I probably should have said wife doesn't want to be married anymore instead ("not what she expected"), but doesn't really make a difference, it ain't what I expected also...
Personaly mid 40s seems like the best age for dating. I got divorced at 43 and never had such an easy time meeting women, even though my divorce left me totaly broke. I have not lived in the US for 12 years now but do not think it is so diffrent. Tons of people in the same situation at this age.
Are there really single people who don´t do online dating? I do not know any here in Germany. Never had a bad experience online dating, message-meet for coffee- maybe it clicks if not some coffee and small talk, all good. Being honest in how you present yourself is important.
Here the clubs are mostly just for students although there are "Over 30 and 40" partys. never really done that and I have never really done the bar thing for meeting a potential partner. Bars are for drinking :-).
Work and the commute take up 12 Hours of my day, Weekends I am busy with my sports/hobbys or have my daughter. Online dating is just more convieniant. The real problem at this age for me is finding time.
The hardest thing I've found is that most of the women are looking for a commitment even when they say they're not. I would advise not rushing and take your time getting past the divorce if it happens.
I'm always amazed at the men who divorce then marry the 1st woman they meet, usually within the 1st year.
You're much smarter now then you were back then, use that wisdom. As we guys get older there are more decent women than available decent men. That is one advantage you'll have today.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
