Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Obviously there has to be attraction, I think what they're getting at is that a lot of women our age (according to my friends) would rather just "hang out" and get to know someone before getting serious. Rather than being asked out on dates. That's how my roommate's relationships all started.
There's a huge difference between hanging out with a girl who wants you and being her friend. They are definitely not the same thing. No one hops into a relationship after meeting and they sure don't become serious after a day... they hang out for a while first. That's not being just friends though.
Many people (men and women) date for the purpose to find someone to grow a friendship with as well as a romantic relationship. These two things can and often do go hand in hand.
This post below should be written in neon letters above ANY post relating to men, women or sex:
Quote:
When you hear anything starting with a sweeping generalisation of an entire sex - "All girls like...." "What girls want is...." "Girls only like guys who...." - you know from the outset the speaker is more often than not just talking nonsense.
People are individuals. What they like - do - or seek in others is just as individual as they are. There comes a point where one realises that there is no formula to apply.
Thank you! It's hysterical how 80% of the posts here invariably begin with, "all men only care about sex.... all women are golddiggers... all men are cheaters.. no man could EVER be just friends with a woman."
It's so sad that so many bitter or inexperienced people here might actually believe this crap. The sweeping, inaccurate generalizations here is the hallmark of the entire Forum.
And starting threads, "What do women look for?" will result in hundreds of different responses. One woman's poison is another woman's candy. People's personalities and wants vary radically.
EVERY relationship I've had started out as friends first. WHY it continues to be peddled here that that is the wrong way of going about it continues to baffle me at every turn.
This happens and often these types of relationships last a long time; however, for me personally, I always liked that "certain" feeling you get right away when you have initial "attraction to somebody. But that's just me. I have in the past just been friends with girls who wanted more from me, but to me, they were just that- friends. There are those whom you are just "friends" with and will never have anything "sexual" becoming of it. And then there are those, where right away you're not questioning any sort of desire/ or lack there of it! You just know (for no reason why) that you can "love" or really like this person easily and quickly if the timing were right. It's really just a "personal" thing on who likes what way best. In the end "fate" makes its own choices, so anyone can go either route I suppose.
This happens and often these types of relationships last a long time; however, for me personally, I always liked that "certain" feeling you get right away when you have initial "attraction to somebody. But that's just me. I have in the past just been friends with girls who wanted more from me, but to me, they were just that- friends. There are those whom you are just "friends" with and will never have anything "sexual" becoming of it. And then there are those, where right away you're not questioning any sort of desire/ or lack there of it! You just know (for no reason why) that you can "love" or really like this person easily and quickly if the timing were right. It's really just a "personal" thing on who likes what way best. In the end "fate" makes its own choices, so anyone can go either route I suppose.
i dont know about this, the girls that im friends with that i wouldnt hook up with are ones that im not attracted to. If a girl is attractive and I'm single and shes a friend that wants more i'll probably feel mutually
Even though I believe in the "friend zone," I've heard from quite a few people my age now that also advocate the "friends first" idea. It really should make sense if you think about it. If y'all can't even get along as friends why would you get along as an item?
This whole 'friend zone' thing is a gimmick that is popular amongst the young crowd, a way to make guys rush into things and possibly blow them. For guys my age and up... being friends first is the way to go. The item in bold nails it to be frank.
This happens and often these types of relationships last a long time; however, for me personally, I always liked that "certain" feeling you get right away when you have initial "attraction to somebody. But that's just me. I have in the past just been friends with girls who wanted more from me, but to me, they were just that- friends. There are those whom you are just "friends" with and will never have anything "sexual" becoming of it. And then there are those, where right away you're not questioning any sort of desire/ or lack there of it! You just know (for no reason why) that you can "love" or really like this person easily and quickly if the timing were right. It's really just a "personal" thing on who likes what way best. In the end "fate" makes its own choices, so anyone can go either route I suppose.
Sure, absolutely, cannot deny this. Even I (gasp!) have experienced this 'instant attraction' to a woman but the more rational side of me tells me 'don't go there, it's a setup for failure, etc.' And, in many cases, it is.
Nah... better for me to be friends first. Build a foundation, a SOLID foundation, and then proceed.
Oh my goodness, first that other gaff of a post, now this one.
Guess what, you are dead wrong. Many women want their partner to be a friend. Many love affairs start out as a friendship first.
Being friends with a guy makes for a more comfortable relationship, after all when the sex is over you still need to be able to have fun and discuss all kinds of things with them.
Sure, absolutely, cannot deny this. Even I (gasp!) have experienced this 'instant attraction' to a woman but the more rational side of me tells me 'don't go there, it's a setup for failure, etc.' And, in many cases, it is.
Nah... better for me to be friends first. Build a foundation, a SOLID foundation, and then proceed.
Whatever works for you. My SO and I are building a solid foundation, through dating that has developed into a LTR without the need to be friends first. We are great friends, that aspect has developed over time along with the attraction/love component. The two are not mutually exclusive and you don't have to be friends first.
Maybe this is a generational thing, but as 40 year old with a f/t job I don't have time to go out and make friends with men and hope that spending what limited time I have with them as friends may blossom into something more.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
