Starting a friendship for the potential of a relationship, but both parties have trust issues...will it work out? (dating, married)

[MAtheBanker]

So, lets say you're a girl who recently developed major trust issues when it comes to dating/getting to know a guy. And then this guy comes along who says he understands the trust issues, has some himself, but wants to give a "relationship" (very loose term, there) a go. The girl makes it explicitly clear that she's not going to be giving him anything physical, but would like to get to know him, because he seems like a nice, genuine guy. What's in it for the guy? The girl has issues that are going to take a LONG time to overcome, and he knows he's not gonna be getting any, so why does he continue to talk to her? Is he being real or just leading her on in hopes he can change her mind about certain things...

Yes, this is online. No, she's not looking for anything serious. I mean, it is ONLINE, after all. No trust can be built until you meet. I'm just asking in general here...what makes a guy want to persue a girl like this.

[mango tango]

The only thing I can tell you is to not make any expectations so if it all falls out, you won't get disappointed.

Start a friendship BUT only if you genuinely want to be friends - not if you only want to get her in bed.

[Bosco55David]

IMO doing the "let's be friends, maybe it'll grow into something more" thing usually doesn't work out at all.

[funymann]

No.

No...it won't work.

[Sunnydee]

"What's in it for the guy?"

Maybe this is just a really nice guy who genuinely wants to befriend this girl.
It could turn out to be a nice, mutually beneficial, arrangement as long as both people are on the same page. Or perhaps the guy likes a challenge.

[Woof Woof Woof!]

First of all, I can't even imagine why you would discuss "trust" issues so early on in a relationship. You just pegged yourself as high drama, high maintenance.

If anyone started unloading that kind of heavy info on me in the first few dates, I'd be outa there.

[yankeegirl313]

Never know until you try. All he can do is runaway, right? BUT, if he already knows upfront, that he`s not gonna be getting anything, then...I say, continue an online friendship. Maybe it could lead up to a phone call.
I know of alot of relationships that started out as just friends, and now they are happily married. (shrugs.) Worth a shot!

[Prettygyrl777]

Originally Posted by Woof Woof Woof!

First of all, I can't even imagine why you would discuss "trust" issues so early on in a relationship. You just pegged yourself as high drama, high maintenance.

If anyone started unloading that kind of heavy info on me in the first few dates, I'd be outa there.

They both have trust issues so in this case, the feeling is mutual. They're both comfortable discussing this so I don't think it's making a negative impact on either one. It's one thing if only one person had trust issues and the other did not. Then I would probably think it's odd that the non-trust issue person would stick around in a relationship like that.

That being said, I think the OP should set some 'rules' or at least certain boundaries that you and your new friend can agree to. Since you both have trust issues, I think you both should come up with rules regarding how far you want to take the relationship, what things can be discussed, etc. I think your relationship may work but if you both can't let go of the past, then nothing can help you.

[miu]

Have they exchanged pictures of each other yet? Maybe the person with trust issues is really beautiful, so it's worth it for the other person to hang around as a friend for a while. Especially if she is prettier than any other single girl he currently knows.

[Huckleberry3911948]

if you are dating online you have no trust issues.