How to approach this woman at the gym? (women, love, attracted)
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Now, before I get to writing my scenario, let me take this moment and ask that you please read the scenario before coming to any conclusion. I know that talking to women at the gym is a controversial subject, and for some women on this forum find getting approached at the gym as enjoyable as a root canal or listening to Snooki's voice, but please humor me.
As some of you may already know, I am interested in weight training and bodybuilding, though I don't compete. Also, I am very attracted to muscular, strong women; women who know how to lift weights. During one of my early-morning workouts, I saw this girl working on legs. She wasn't doing machines; she was doing barbell squats and deadlifts on the power rack, and she was STRONG! Not only was she strong, she was also quite muscular as well. Like me, she was wearing headphones and was training with an intensity that I admire and love. As I was just wrapping up my workout and had to leave to go to the office, I didn't have a chance to say high or introduce myself.
Here's my question: how do I approach this woman? She is an intense lifter, both in the weight she was pushing and in her appearance, so I need to know how to talk to someone who is hardcore into lifting. Should I mention something about her routine? Should I ask if she competes? Should I complement her on her lifting?
Also, I know that some women HATE it when men approach them at the gym. Thing is, I love muscular and strong women, and I don't know where else to find them but outside of the gym. I went to watch one local bodybuilding competition, but I found that the women there weren't interested in talking to people outside of their entourages. Where else would I be able to find them outside of the gym?
In addition, every time someone asks a question like this, someone will always mention to "approach the girls with makeup and who are barely doing anything." I don't like, nor am I attracted to those women. I am attracted to the intense ones, the ones who are pushing heavy weight, the ones who are sweating profusely, the ones who take their craft seriously. I don't want to approach a gym goer who is basically dolled up to impress the guys.
So, what suggestions do you have for me? I want to make a move the next time I see her.
I'd try and catch her at a reasonable time where you're not stopping her from a workout or if she's in the middle of a set you're just standing over her.. but I'm sure that's fairly obvious.
I'd actually just start it off by shooting a little compliment to her about her workout routine or that she seems like she's got a good work out. Maybe ask her a little bit about that and what she does. There's nothing wrong with doing that, if she's a strong lifter it's definitely something she'd like to talk about. You have a common interest, go with that.
Agreed on keep it casual. Does she walk to a water fountain for a break? Try to talk to her sometime like that.
Ask her a question that's not a yes/no question, like "How long have you been working out?"
TRY not to be so worked up about it, though. Even though there's some unwritten rule about talking to women at the gym, she's just a person like you. Even though you are WAY into her, though, she may not be into you, and you will have to be ready to live with that.
But you should try. You're already NOT going out with her, so at least try to get to know her.
Now, before I get to writing my scenario, let me take this moment and ask that you please read the scenario before coming to any conclusion. I know that talking to women at the gym is a controversial subject, and for some women on this forum find getting approached at the gym as enjoyable as a root canal or listening to Snooki's voice, but please humor me.
As some of you may already know, I am interested in weight training and bodybuilding, though I don't compete. Also, I am very attracted to muscular, strong women; women who know how to lift weights. During one of my early-morning workouts, I saw this girl working on legs. She wasn't doing machines; she was doing barbell squats and deadlifts on the power rack, and she was STRONG! Not only was she strong, she was also quite muscular as well. Like me, she was wearing headphones and was training with an intensity that I admire and love. As I was just wrapping up my workout and had to leave to go to the office, I didn't have a chance to say high or introduce myself.
Here's my question: how do I approach this woman? She is an intense lifter, both in the weight she was pushing and in her appearance, so I need to know how to talk to someone who is hardcore into lifting. Should I mention something about her routine? Should I ask if she competes? Should I complement her on her lifting?
Also, I know that some women HATE it when men approach them at the gym. Thing is, I love muscular and strong women, and I don't know where else to find them but outside of the gym. I went to watch one local bodybuilding competition, but I found that the women there weren't interested in talking to people outside of their entourages. Where else would I be able to find them outside of the gym?
In addition, every time someone asks a question like this, someone will always mention to "approach the girls with makeup and who are barely doing anything." I don't like, nor am I attracted to those women. I am attracted to the intense ones, the ones who are pushing heavy weight, the ones who are sweating profusely, the ones who take their craft seriously. I don't want to approach a gym goer who is basically dolled up to impress the guys.
So, what suggestions do you have for me? I want to make a move the next time I see her.
Many women LOVE it when guys chat with them at the gym! Just keep it light and casual. Sure, you can ask her if she competes, tell her you were impressed with her routine, and were wondering if she competes. Gauge by her reaction as to whether you should continue the convo or not. The only thing I can't advise you about is how to approach someone with headphones on. Does that mean they want to be left alone, or does it just mean she's listening to her workout music? I have no idea, I don't use headphones at the gym. I want to be approachable, so I don't use headphones.
Usually the best approach is the non-approach. When she takes a break to get some water, just say, "nice routine! Do you compete?" Next time you're at the gym, get there a little early, so when she comes in to workout, just say hi, and leave it at that. Build up slowly over time, unless she gives you clear signals that she enjoys talking to you.
Last edited by Ruth4Truth; 05-26-2012 at 04:59 PM..
Many women LOVE it when guys chat with them at the gym! Just keep it light an casual. Sure, you can ask her if she competes, tell her you were impressed with her routine, and were wondering if she competes. Gauge by her reaction as to whether you should continue the convo or not. The only thing I can't advise you about is how to approach someone with headphones on. Does that mean they want to be left alone, or does it just mean she's listening to her workout music? I have no idea, I don't use headphones at the gym. I want to be approachable, so I don't use headphones.
Usually the best approach is the non-approach. When she takes a break to get some water, just say, "nice routine! Do you compete?" Next time you're at the gym, get there a little early, so when she comes in to workout, just say hi, and leave it at that. Build up slowly over time, unless she gives you clear signals that she enjoys talking to you.
I've gotta agree with all of this. In most situations I'd say it's best to talk to the girl ask her out right away and then call her no questions asked, but in a situation like this it wouldn't hurt to move a little slower and get to know her over time, simply because of where it is. At the gym you don't always have a long time to just stand there and talk, you're at the gym to work out, so a couple quick conversations at first so she knows who you are, then when you catch her maybe before or after a workout and you have an actual place to be able to have a full conversation she's comfortable talking to you and then you have to make your move to ask her out.
As far as headphones go, I don't think people wear headphones because they don't want to be approached, I think they wear them because most music at gyms is terrible.
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