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As most of you know, I'm extremely shy, have little interests and hobbies and prefer staying home than going out.
I'd love to have a good friendship with a man, if not a relationship. What it is that guys like hearing women talk about?
Besides my dad and bro whom I'm not close to, I only have 1 guy who I consider a very good friend. Usually, I tell him jokes or funny videos I find on the Internet and about my day. Do men like hearing what goes on in a woman's day?
You can learn more about men issues and interests, football, cars, politics etc and learn to chat with the people you are likely to meet at work (if you are home mostly, surely you go to work) or any social gathering. Try and make friends yourself. Men don't bite so you can take the initiative and ask questions about what is going on around you at the time. This should help.
As most of you know, I'm extremely shy, have little interests and hobbies and prefer staying home than going out.
I'd love to have a good friendship with a man, if not a relationship. What it is that guys like hearing women talk about?
Besides my dad and bro whom I'm not close to, I only have 1 guy who I consider a very good friend. Usually, I tell him jokes or funny videos I find on the Internet and about my day. Do men like hearing what goes on in a woman's day?
What do you DO all day? Do you work? Are you a housewife? A shut-in?
The thing is, it will be very, very difficult to simply "meet a man". That's just NOT how it works unless you're proposing a friends-with-bennies situation.
This ISN'T because men are pigs; it's because when PEOPLE meet (and by people I mean men and women alike) they don't just meet like two ships passing in the night, they MEET based on social situations and encounters, and they develop friendships and further relationships based on mutual interests, shared activities, etc.
Unless you're offering sex you're NOT simply going to "strike up a friendship" with a man, and even then it wouldn't be a friendship, it would be SEX. If you had nothing to talk about, then both of you would lose interest once the deed was done.
You say that YOU have few interests (what DOES interest you?), or hobbies (how DO you spend your leisure time?) and prefer staying home to going out. I often prefer staying home as well, but I have loads of things to DO and loads of INTERESTS keeping me busy at home, so my home life is extremely RICH with just a crazy variety of things with which to occupy myself.
"Wanna have a sandwich?"
"Nah, I ate lunch before coming over." "Oh. Well...." *crickets chirping* "Wanna watch tv?"
"Mmmm. No, I have a few things to do today, reckon I'd best git goin'." "Okay, see ya later."(Run to the internet, get on CD and ask "Is he just using me for sex? Why don't we feel like FRIENDS?" Have a bunch of people take on HALF the story so they can all tell you what a jerk he is and how you deserve better.)
You can't just BE "what men want" anymore than can the plethora of whining dudes on these forums who are constantly asking "What do women REALLY want?" That's because people may have some basic "truths" running through them BUT everyone is different enough that there is no "one perfect formula".
I MARRIED a woman based NOT on HER, but on a character she created in order to appeal to me. She wanted a man in her life, is the kind of person who can't be alone, who WANTS someone on her arm -- but left to her own devices the kind of men she attracts tend to be lowlife scum, drifters, abusers.
She created a PICTURE, an IMAGE and play-acted a role. I made the terrible mistake of trying to be forthright, tell HER what *I* was looking for, because I figured if that wasn't her then we could call it a day cleanly. I didn't realize I was just HELPING her "become" something.
No one can live like that, not forever. Eventually the effort becomes too great and the REAL person needs to come through. And when that happens you have not one, but TWO irritated people, the "character" person who feels sequestered, caged, and blames the other person without ever stopping to realize THEY created their own role/cage, and the other person, now invested in a relationship (even a friendship is an investment) and suddenly dealing with someone with whom they did NOT strike up this deal (WTF? Where did my FRIEND go? Who is THIS, no longer interesting, never wanting to go out, doesn't want to attend any hobbies? WHO IS THIS?).
When you ask a question like "What is it guys like to hear women talk about?" and you clearly state you have very few interests or hobbies, it really does send the message that you're looking to BECOME something you're not, in the interest of meeting a man.
And believe it or not, when a woman says she specifically wants a "friendship" with a man then unless there are VERY specific factors requiring that this friend be male (must lift heavy things), she DOES have a romantic relationship in mind... "eventually" -- which translates as "ASAP without appearing too desperate, so TWO weeks before we sleep together as opposed to just one".
Because otherwise there would be no reason to specify; you'd just want friendship, regardless of gender.
This reminds me of a terrible article I read in women's magazine at the doctor's office. I generally don't like "Cosmo" and the other magazines like it, but there was nothing else to read.
The article was about how to make yourself into a woman that guys would like. It mentioned things like:
--Find out what sports team he likes, and do research on them. Then watch games with him, and drop lines like "that play reminds me of what so-and-so did in the '96 playoffs..."
--Have a big TV and lots of add-ons like surround sound, blu-ray player, HD, etc. If a guys comes into your apartment and sees an old-fashioned TV and a VCR, he's going to leave as soon as possible.
--Drink beer, even if you hate it. Get to know about all kinds of beer. Guys like down-to-earth girls, not the ones who order complicated fancy mixed drinks, or wine which they know nothing about.
Ugh, if I hadn't been sick before going to the doctor's office, I was certainly sick after reading that!
You can't be a blank canvas with the plan to paint yourself the way some other person would like. Paint your own painting, and people who like it will be drawn to it.
Sports?? I actually like sports, so it isn't weird for me to discuss them with guys. Guys don't mind hearing about your day if you did something worth talking about. That goes for anyone though. You've gotta get out there, OP! Join a meet up group, take a class, hang out in coffee shops, and just relax. I used to be shy because I was always worried about saying the wrong thing or that people wouldn't like me or find me interesting. Now I don't care.
Someone on this board gave me great advice the other day. They said if you want to guys (or anyone really) to be interested in you, then you have to be interesting. Get out there and do some interesting things! You can do it!
I think men in general think women talk too much. You should try to listen to him if he.enjoys talking. You could talk about movies , why does he like a particular movie etc. Don't talk about your girlfriends or.that time of the month- women only stuff. Sure , tell him how your day was "i made a huge sale" (whatever you do for a living) keep it upbeat but don't brag.
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
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I hate hearing that 'a woman's personality matter.' In a RELATIONship that involves more than just sex, you bet if matters, at least for me. Sure sex is great, but maybe I'm old school but I'd prefer the non-sexual romantic connection to be the basis of a relationship. The sex is more like the sugar in the tea I guess.
Boring women just turn me off. I'm sorry, maybe my standards are too high? Especially those who think they can't do anything about it.
guys like girls whom they can converse with just about everything under the sun.
guys don't respect ******* and they never treat them as friends...
well, the key is being yourself
I don't really worry about it, I just look for someone who is into the same sort of things as me. I don't think about a certain agenda to talk about, but if a girl has a similar personality as me there's not much for me to worry about.
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so you can take the initiative and ask questions about what is going on around you at the time. This should help.
