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This question could also be, "Always be charming and on, because you never know."
I know a few guys who, no matter what woman they are talking to (unless they are old), their 'game' is always on. Even with women who are married or have boyfriends sometimes (and some of these guys are married too). They are always charming and cracking masculine jokes and exuding SWAG.
For me, when I go on a date (at least in recent times), I'm always conscious of being assertive and confident and semi-cocky, and not showing effeminate behavior and passivity. I make a point of it.
But in other situations, I don't.
Case in point, I met a co-worker fairly recently who I originally didn't have much if any interest in even though she was single and fairly attractive. In retrospect, I ended up saying and exuding a lot of non-confident, wussy behavior. And in the end I fell for her and it might have cost me. Probably not, but let's just say she wasn't the pickiest woman in terms of who she chose to hook up with.
But in general, I find, if I'm not in a specific pursuing state of mind, I fall into the buddy-buddy, passive, reveal my insecurities side when I meet women in casual life. In other words, my game is not turned on.
Come to think of it, if I had met my last girlfriend under those circumstances, I envision her turning me down. But it didn't. I was laying on the charm from close to the beginning.
Men and women, what is your opinion of this? Are men costing themselves if their game isn't always on?
im just who i am everyday. i dont see a point to puffing out my chest to impress since its sure as hell not who any perspective girlfriends are going to get.
now...ask me this question ten years ago and you would have gotten a much different answer. it was game on then i was the best **** that ever walked on earth and no one could tell me different.
thankfully i grew up and dropped the gods gift attitude
im just who i am everyday. i dont see a point to puffing out my chest to impress since its sure as hell not who any perspective girlfriends are going to get.
now...ask me this question ten years ago and you would have gotten a much different answer. it was game on then i was the best **** that ever walked on earth and no one could tell me different.
thankfully i grew up and dropped the gods gift attitude
I just try to act fairly naturally all the time; there is no "game" for me. Any time I've actively tried to interject any sort of charm into conversations with women, I'm MUCH worse off than if I had just acted like I always do. It's pretty much guaranteed to end with me looking either creepy or like an idiot. So because of that, I'm always "off".
why do guy always have to have some kind of angle to everything they do? geez.
Bc some women expect a guy to be 'on' when he approaches. And in my mind being 'on' means that you must be funny, cocky, good personality, nice, mean & everything else rolled up into one in order for the attraction to be there.
I do not think I even have a "game" to turn on - nor do I think I need one. Probably best to stay true to yourself and let potential partners see who you really are - rather than get them to be interested in someone you are not. Who do you want to be loved by women? The person you are or the person you act out who does not actually exist?
I do not think I even have a "game" to turn on - nor do I think I need one. Probably best to stay true to yourself and let potential partners see who you really are - rather than get them to be interested in someone you are not. Who do you want to be loved by women? The person you are or the person you act out who does not actually exist?
This really is the answer but I have a slightly different take: Your "game" must always be on in the sense that it becomes integrated with who you really are or in the process of becoming. Just like any athlete, you must practice daily to be your best, and not just act like it because that will get you no where fast. So your game is all about the basics (posture, bodylanguage, dress, hygene, fitness, communication skills), mindset (business/personal success, confidence, leadership), and status (education, wealth/financial stability, your relation to others--business, peers, friends, etc). Be commited to becoming a better you each and every day.
And you are also making the mistake of focusing your game for the purposes of meeting and dating women. It's about you being solid, sharp, independent, knowing where you are headed next in your life, knowing you can handle any challenge that comes your way, and what you ultimately want out of life, which includes your relationship with women. It about YOU being the captain of your ship, charting your own waters, not living by other peoples standards, and being the master of your destiny.
By the way, unlike men, many women a unique ability to pick out that guy from a room full of guys; it's like they can smell the cologne of the guy who has his act together, is going places, that "gets it", and has options when it comes to dating women. It's an energy that a certain level of confidence emits. Get some.
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But it didn't. I was laying on the charm from close to the beginning.
