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Ok, I really can't believe im trying this but I figure its kinda of a step of taking towards "getting outa my comfort shell" and putting myself in the spotlight, so to speak.
All my life i've known and accepted im not a Brad Pitt, Gerald Butler or Orlando Bloom in the looks department and plus being the quiet, shy and nerdy kid all through my school years, so thus, i've never been popular with the ladies.
Im nearing 32 and still in the process of trying to rebuild myself since a failed 5 year relationship over a year ago. I met a new gal pal who has helped me rebuild my confidence in my looks, helped me find new and better looking clothes, got me to going to the gym to loose weight. I've been taking new pill for my lifelong battle with OCD which basically consists of my brain being unable to stop thinking and shutting down, not the constant worry of stuff being in the right place or rearranging stuff in a certain way.
But despite my improvements to myself in over a year, im still feeling the lack of "physical" appeal to ladies around me in public. I may not be the best body language reader but I still feel I just get "passed" over by most woman. I've tried to smile more in public then be a bitter frowner, i've had successfull attempts and randomly talking with ladies at Starbucks which felt good but I still can't seem to strike it right with ladies.
So I guess in an attempt to find out more of what I could do to improve about myself in the looks department or possibly learn the hard bitter truth that maybe my expectations are too high and need to lower my standards of what kinda woman I can attract, im putting myself out here in full view to hear what you ladies would initially think if you were to see me in a public place and what your reaction would be if I tried to start a general conversation or just a random observation if we were standing in line at starbucks or something.
So here we go, feel free to give me the good, bad and ugly truth about me. I need to know, i'm tired of guessing after all these years
NOTE: THIS THREAD IS INTENDED FOR INPUT FROM THE LADIES, GENTLEMEN STRAIGHT OR OTHERWISE CAN COMMENT IF THEY HAVE ANYTHING CONSTRUCTIVE TO SAY. FLAMING OR RUDE POSTS WILL BE REPORTED IMMEDIATELY
I'm a dude, but start working out man. Work out 3x a week you'll be lookin huge. Tell yourself you're the ****, be confident in whatever it is you do and you'll have women flocking towards you.
you are solidly average looking, but if you lost the excess body fat you would get bumped into above average territory. How much weight have you lost so far? Can you improve your workout routine? The last poster us right, you could get ripped pretty fast if you started lifting right. You have the right body type for it, you look like a claseic mesomorph.
I think you are a nice looking man, and I happen to like nerdy guys. I happen to be taken but I talk to almost everyone, and I would talk to you at Starbux.
Pictures can say whatever you would like them to say, but it is the actual interaction that may make the difference here.
You need to have the self esteem to put yourself out there and the ability to be outgoing. You look friendly enough to me. I don't think you are bad looking at all and I sure don't think you are really overweight. Now what comes next is how you represent yourself in every day conversation.
In my opinion, I wouldn't worry about losing weight...there are lots of women with guys with your build, and who don't have a problem with it. Any additional fitness efforts employed at your own desire, great, good for you. But I don't think your current level of fitness in those pics is probably something that would cause you to be written off by any great numbers of women. Some women (I haven't met tons, but they're out there) won't look at a guy who is not ripped, this is true. Many, though, really don't care... we don't want somebody who obviously doesn't care at all about his health/appearance, but we're not necessarily looking for high-definition sculpted, either.
It's not all about looks, of course...you appear happy and at ease and enjoying yourself in all the photos, which is an important thing that can draw people to you. Continuing to work on any vestiges of having been the quiet, shy kid, and definitely continuing to get a handle on your OCD is probably a better place to focus than worrying about your physical appearance. Your physical appearance is fine, IMO...I wouldn't worry about it. I seriously don't think you have to worry that your looks will cost you the affections of any woman who takes a liking to you. You are nice looking. Some women won't date anybody who's not Johnny Depp/George Clooney/Fill-in-the-blank with younger icon. No matter what, they're not the women for you.
Yeah I've never been able to get into weight lifting for very long, i've mostly just been doing cardio workouts the past year. I've never had a desire to get ripped, it requires way more dedication and gym time then I wanna invest. Part of my problem has just been maintaining a constant routine to the gym and eating from late at night. Again, will power, never been my strong point. I want to loose more weight and just tone up my body to a nice average build. Sorta like Mike Rowe from Dirty Jobs, a nice medium build that doesn't require extreme measures and time.
Am I envious of those ripped guys I see at my local gym? Yes. Do I really get jealous seeing them with their hot girlfriends around them? Oh hell yes? Am I willing to dedicate 4-5 days a week of constant workout/cardio/weight and dietary changes required to acheive that look? Sorry, no. I learned not long ago finally that if I work out to try to improve my looks/chances for other people instead of for myself, i'm not doing it for the right reasons.
Yeah I've never been able to get into weight lifting for very long, i've mostly just been doing cardio workouts the past year. I've never had a desire to get ripped, it requires way more dedication and gym time then I wanna invest. Part of my problem has just been maintaining a constant routine to the gym and eating from late at night. Again, will power, never been my strong point. I want to loose more weight and just tone up my body to a nice average build. Sorta like Mike Rowe from Dirty Jobs, a nice medium build that doesn't require extreme measures and time.
Am I envious of those ripped guys I see at my local gym? Yes. Do I really get jealous seeing them with their hot girlfriends around them? Oh hell yes? Am I willing to dedicate 4-5 days a week of constant workout/cardio/weight and dietary changes required to acheive that look? Sorry, no. I learned not long ago finally that if I work out to try to improve my looks/chances for other people instead of for myself, i'm not doing it for the right reasons.
Thanks for input though, its what I need
So stop eating garbage and keep up the cardio. That will give you a slim, fit build. As it stands now you will be obese by the time you are 40... nip it in the bud now!
Please don't be jealous of the hot girls that the hot guys get. I've heard way too many times that those hot girls are not so hot inside. They're usually more work and drama than you'd want, most likely. And, they usually can't carry a convo to save their lives.
Just keep working on yourself. I think you're a pretty decent looking guy and when you meet the right girl she will think you're the hottest guy around.
So stop eating garbage and keep up the cardio. That will give you a slim, fit build. As it stands now you will be obese by the time you are 40... nip it in the bud now!
You shoulda seen me 2 years ago, i've made progress. I have to take things in baby steps. But yes, im fully aware of my poor choices, complete with my stretch marks on my belly and thighs still to remind me to stay on track as best I can
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