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wow, talk about equality when its convenient. If it benefits the couple, in a financial sense , why should this be a big deal? People should do what works for them, not do what makes them look best to others.
There are a lot of women that wanted to be SAHMs and their husbands seem to be fine with that. However it looks like men become SAHDs out of necessity, financial issues...not by choice. I know there are men out there that want to stay at home but most men don't seem to dream about it like some women do.
While dating, would a guy that let it be known he wanted to be SAHD turn you off? Would it make him look like "less of a man" in your eyes? Would you want to date a guy like that?
Cant say I've ever know a woman that dreamed of being a SAHM. Seems if they do its just because it works out better financially or its temporary for the benefit of the young children. But yes, I would have been open to it, if as was stated by another poster, he actually cleaned, cooked and took care of all the domestic stuff that would make life easier for me. The things I would do if I stayed home.
Im beyond having kids, but now I would'nt mind having a SAHH. I dont see contributing to the home and quality of life as being "less of a man".
Totally would love a house husband if it made financial sense (it doesn't with my current paycheck, but in a few years...). A couple I am friends with work things this way, and their overall quality of life is quite high as a result of him providing all the support work for her lucrative career. She comes home from her demanding job that she enjoys immensely to have all the administrative details of her life taken care of, as well as all of the housework. He simply does not have the earning potential she has, so it makes sense for her to devote herself to her work and him to devote himself to creating a comfortable home for the both of them. They have no kids, and I don't intend to have any, either.
But in my career, I see how having stay-at-home wives makes the lives of the male executives at my company much, much easier. The execs have no worries except their work and, if they have kids, putting in the time there. Their wives are all intelligent, hard-working women who could easily have professional careers - but they have chosen to work as a team with their husbands to promote their husbands' careers. I just could never do the job those women do.
All the women in the recent generations of my family have had careers - it's just our genetic nature, I think. And there is some evidence that the previous generations of my family that did not work outside the home felt rather discontented. My grandmother and great-grandmother were forever engaging in little decore projects rather than tending to the household work - stuff like that. All the women in my family have ADD or ADHD, which I think makes us somewhat unsuited to being household managers
So yeah, I'd love a house husband so I could concentrate on my career and my hobbies in my free time rather than on stuff like cleaning the house and my household budget.
I'm a 29 year old male, and I simply steer clear of women who dream of being a stay at home mom (or even worse, a stay at home wife).
I'm not saying if the situation arose, its a bad thing (how much does daycare cost again?), but if that's their only goal in life, no thanks. They same goes for men. If they want to be a stay at home dads, I'm pretty sure there are only a few women out there who'll be fine with that right off that bat.
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I'd think I'd grow bored of being a SAHD, and I'm terrible at doing housework, but if there are men who are really into it, and their wives don't mind, more power to them. I would assume this would occur after the kids are at least 4-5 or so. In that case it's probably not THAT uncommon, my dad was kind of a SAHD for a time when he worked for home. With more and more men working at home, as well, I think you'll find more SAHD's who just work at home, instead of being a full time house husband. I guess that's a bit different though.
But yes, if I were ever to marry someone who wanted to be a SAHM I don't think it's too much to expect her to do ALL the chores. Especially when the kids are in school, there's absolutely no excuse. No, the man shouldn't have to 'contribute', unless he feels the need to, if his wife is a SAHM. And vice versa. You wanna stay at home full time, that's YOUR job. It's not like the person working out expects their spouse to help them with their work, although I guess that might happen.
However, if I weren't I'd see nothing wrong with the couple talking about what they might do in a scenario where it might make sense for the man to stay home with the kids.
Honestly, I think this scenario will become more common. Regarding it being his dream....I'm not so sure about that. I really know very few people in real life that were SAHMs or SAHDs...it wasn't their dream, but for a variety of reasons it worked for the family.
I'd think I'd grow bored of being a SAHD, and I'm terrible at doing housework, but if there are men who are really into it, and their wives don't mind, more power to them. I would assume this would occur after the kids are at least 4-5 or so. In that case it's probably not THAT uncommon, my dad was kind of a SAHD for a time when he worked for home. With more and more men working at home, as well, I think you'll find more SAHD's who just work at home, instead of being a full time house husband. I guess that's a bit different though.
But yes, if I were ever to marry someone who wanted to be a SAHM I don't think it's too much to expect her to do ALL the chores. Especially when the kids are in school, there's absolutely no excuse. No, the man shouldn't have to 'contribute', unless he feels the need to, if his wife is a SAHM. And vice versa. You wanna stay at home full time, that's YOUR job. It's not like the person working out expects their spouse to help them with their work, although I guess that might happen.
I don't understand how anyone could be bored being a SAHM/D. When the chores are done, I'm free to do what I want. I volunteer, take a few classes here and there, meet my husband for lunch..etc. If someone is bored, they need a hobby!
I agree with you about household chores being the SAH's job, HOWEVER...all of my routine chores are done before he gets home. Anything that happens AFTER he gets home is shared. Either that or MY quitting time is the same as his.
I would! Sometimes I wish I could switch spots w/ my husband. He did "stay home" with our first for the first year because we were both still in college and I had a job and he didn't so we set our schedule's up to switch off and not need daycare. I think it is less common for a guy to desire this but it is by no means a lazy choice!
I'm a woman and I wouldn't want to date someone like that. And if that guy was looking to have kids soon, he should be dating someone who makes more money than I do. I only know one stay at home dad and while he thinks it's great to be at home with his kids, it's a huge financial strain on his wife and I know it's not his dream. He has career goals and ambitions. Staying at home has helped save some child care costs and given him a chance to go back to school part time so that when he does reenter the working world, he'll have more qualifications.
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