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I know I am not, and old c-d posts down right prove it. I am a new person. Sometimes I wonder if this person was always there, just waiting for her time to shine. Other times I wonder if life and the ups and downs, the goods and the bads are what made me the person I am today.
I am not quite sure on the answer to that as of yet, but I am thinking it is a little of both. Five years ago I realized I was worth more. I realized that the way my then-husband had treated me for all of those many years was wrong and that I deserved better out of life.
At that point I didn't care much whether another man came into my life or not, I truthfully could do without men at that time.
So, since then, I have become separated, and this year, finally divorced. I cannot believe how different of a person I am today, nor can my family. I have to think that my parents would be proud of the woman I have become. Unfortunately they are not able to see it, but from above.
I imagine my life could have gone in quite the opposite direction, had I let it. I was actually headed in that direction, part of the way through. I sit here tonight, unable to sleep. My sweetie in bed, and me having left our bedroom so I wouldn't wake him with my restlessness.
What a difference five years can make. It makes me wonder what a difference five more will make.
There were a few women going through the same thing at the same time as me, and I think one or two of them may still be here. May we all be blessed.
I am not exactly 'for' divorce, but in my case it was the only way.
When you look back, what do you see? If you open the door to five years ago, where would you be in contrast to where you are?
I'm the same person I was when I was 5 years old. I might have stumbled along the way, and got f***ed up by some icy cold women, but all in all....I stayed the same. Get outta my way and git-r-done!
While preferences and knowledge changes over time. People generally remain the same, at least at the inner core of who they are.
People mature, or parts of them change, all in call things never change.
Compared to what I was 5 years ago. Now I am much better off. I am far more happy and even keeled.
I suppose this can be true, but in cases like my own, it is a bit different. My morals have always remained the same, this is true.
The problem is when we don't know who we really are. When we are young and the person we were, or would grow to be is squelched and we are then molded into a person someone else would have us to be.
It was not until I was about 33 years old that I started to learn the real woman I was. I was not that meek and mild woman who would not speak her mind. I was not the woman afraid to tell her feelings. I was not the woman who loved to laugh.
Now I am all of those things. I will speak my mind and stand up for myself. I will share my feelings, and I love to laugh. I am not afraid to laugh and be silly.
I had no idea I was this person......
When another person is permitted to do this to someone it can be quite an ordeal.
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