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I'm confused...does everyone collectively think because someone doesn't want to get married, they obviously dont believe in monogamy? Is their no other option? Like they just might not believe in the institution itself?
I never understood the "expense" of having children as reason not to have them. I just think it's a matter of personal preference of wanting freedom, etc. If having children were truly based on expense, only the wealthy would have kids, and that's clearly not the case. Plenty of families are far from loaded, and they do just fine with 2-3 kids, and sometimes more.
As far as college is concerned, some of the most successful people today put themselves through college without their parent's support. It's nice if a parent can and will contribute something, but it's not necessarily a responsibility. Not always being able to pay for college is understandable, but kids will make a way if they're determined and it's that important to them.
I think marriage is a personal choice , but never understood not "believing" in it. It's not a fable that you imagine but can't see. You actually see people get married, and there are still those who say married. Doesn't it make more sense to say I don't personally care for it/want it, than to say you don't believe when it's right in front of you?
I never understood the "expense" of having children as reason not to have them. I just think it's a matter of personal preference of wanting freedom, etc. If having children were truly based on expense, only the wealthy would have kids, and that's clearly not the case. Plenty of families are far from loaded, and they do just fine with 2-3 kids, and sometimes more.
As far as college is concerned, some of the most successful people today put themselves through college without their parent's support. It's nice if a parent can and will contribute something, but it's not necessarily a responsibility. Not always being able to pay for college is understandable, but kids will make a way if they're determined and it's that important to them.
That was fine back in the day when college was only $15k a year and one left school with less than $60k in student loans, but college costs are too high now. Even a decent state school with instate tuition cost $35k a year (tuition + housing) which totals $140k. I don't know about you, but having $140k in student loans with just a college degree (with the chance at a job paying $40-45k) can't possibly be fun and basically ruins one's life for a lengthy period of time.
So basically, if you have kids these days and expect them to go to college, you should be prepared and willing to at least help them out greatly.
I never understood the "expense" of having children as reason not to have them. I just think it's a matter of personal preference of wanting freedom, etc. If having children were truly based on expense, only the wealthy would have kids, and that's clearly not the case. Plenty of families are far from loaded, and they do just fine with 2-3 kids, and sometimes more.
As far as college is concerned, some of the most successful people today put themselves through college without their parent's support. It's nice if a parent can and will contribute something, but it's not necessarily a responsibility. Not always being able to pay for college is understandable, but kids will make a way if they're determined and it's that important to them.
Plenty of families do "just fine" by your standards, maybe...but others might disagree. I think that paying for college is absolutely essential to the decision to have a child. I believe that having a kid when you know you'll be in no place to fund further education is irresponsible. Obviously others disagree, but just because everyone else is jumping off a bridge doesn't mean I'm going to also.
Does a child need to go to summer camp, have family vacations, take music lessons, play on sports teams, or have enrichment classes? No. But I wouldn't bring a child into this world if I didn't think I could give that to them. Life changes, of course things won't go according to plan, but if the budget was already tight I wouldn't bring life into this world and expect them to just deal with only the very basics. That's not an enjoyable life to me, and I feel it would be selfish to force that on them.
That was fine back in the day when college was only $15k a year and one left school with less than $45kk in student loan, but college costs are too high now. Even a decent state school with instate tuition cost $30k a year (tuition + housing) which totals $120k. I don't know about you, but having $120k in student loans with just a college degree can't possibly be fun and basically ruins one's life for a lengthy period of time.
It still doesn't stop people I know from going to college. They work during college and more on breaks, go part-time, etc. People can say what they will, but others find continue to find ways to make things work.
Plenty of families do "just fine" by your standards, maybe...but others might disagree. I think that paying for college is absolutely essential to the decision to have a child. I believe that having a kid when you know you'll be in no place to fund further education is irresponsible. Obviously others disagree, but just because everyone else is jumping off a bridge doesn't mean I'm going to also.
Does a child need to go to summer camp, have family vacations, take music lessons, play on sports teams, or have enrichment classes? No. But I wouldn't bring a child into this world if I didn't think I could give that to them. Life changes, of course things won't go according to plan, but if the budget was already tight I wouldn't bring life into this world and expect them to just deal with only the very basics. That's not an enjoyable life to me, and I feel it would be selfish to force that on them.
And this is where I disagree. There are parents who could not pay for their children's tuition, but it didn't stop them from being successful. Michelle Obama, Deval Patrick, I'm sure the list could go on. I know parents mean well, but I also think too many parents think they have to do certain things and do too much for them. They pay for things for their kids and their kids take it for granted, and don't work for things themselves like their parents did. If anything, if a parent doesn't make provisions easily, it encourages the kid to be more independent and resourceful. You can't pay for their college? Do what you can, and let them work out the rest if they really want it. It's better than paying for everything only for the kid to do mediocre or fail or spend several years not graduating, because someone's giving them a free ride. Besides, there are kids that no matter how much they have will want more, or kids who are thankful they learned the value of a dollar and didn't need all those things to be special or more successful.
It still doesn't stop people I know from going to college. They work during college and more on breaks, go part-time, etc. People can say what they will, but others find continue to find ways to make things work.
I had lots of friends who worked their way through college (most with some parental assistance too). But when tuition is $30k/year and you make at most $10/hour, you can't even begin to make a dent towards the costs. They all graduated over $50k in debt (one over $100k in debt), and this is from a state school.
The more responsible thing to do, honestly, is NOT to work while you're in school, and to take extra classes and graduate early instead. Shaving a year off of school saves you $30k, and then you can start making more than minimum wage to pay back the costs more quickly.
Regardless...if I ever have a child, their college will be paid for to the best of my ability. If they work hard enough to get into a good school, I don't want finances to be the reason they turn it down. (I'm biased, as I got into ivy league schools but could not afford the $200k price tag, so I went to a state school instead. I don't want my child to make that choice).
And this is where I disagree. There are parents who could not pay for their children's tuition, but it didn't stop them from being successful. Michelle Obama, Deval Patrick, I'm sure the list could go on. I know parent's mean well, but I also think too many parents think they have to do certain things and do too much for them. They pay for things for their kids and they take it for granted, don't work for things themselves like their parents did. If anything, if a parent doesn't make provisions easily, it encourages the kid to be more independent and resourceful. You can't pay for their college? Do what you can, and let them work out the rest if they really want it. It's better than paying for everything only for the kid to do mediocre or fail or spend several years not graduating, because someones giving them a free ride. Besides, there are kids that no matter how much they have will want more, or kids who are thankful they learned the value of a dollar and didn't need all those things to be special or more successful.
That's poor parenting then. It has nothing to do with who footed the bill and everything to do with how you raise the child. If the kid is getting greedy and demanding, stop paying for it.
My parents paid for plenty, and I still worked my butt off, graduated top of my class in high school, with 2 majors with honors in 2.5 years from college, and got a job offer at one of the most lucrative IT consulting firms available. I wouldn't have been able to do that if I hadn't had financial assistance from my parents in college, or had music lessons in high school.
Yes, people who take the most important decision of their lives so seriously that they weigh the numerous significant downsides are definitely not fit to be parents.
But those people who act without consequence and breed like rabbits with no consideration to the kinds of lives they are forcing upon their offspring are awesome!
I meant that if you didn't want kids because it would mean that you couldn't afford the 50,000 dollar sports car you've been eyeing, you shouldn't have them.
Kids will feel like a burden at times, but the memories made watching them grow into wonderful young adults should more than offset any sacrifices you had to make raising them. And mommy and daddy didn't pay my way through school. I don't believe that is an entirely parental responsibility. Partial if you are able and with conditions attached is much more realistic and will do your kid a great service having to work their way/pay their own living expenses/tuition.
I don't know where some of u guys went to school, but tuition and books didn't run more than $4000 a semester
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