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I think that this is a non issue, lots of men make more money than women, also, some women make more money than men. I suppose if money is important to you, you should only date women who make an equal amount. If you date women, who make less money, but support themselves, and are happy, that should be sufficient.
It is not about who has the biggest paycheck...but if that is your value...as I said, limit your dating pool to higher income women.
Hello all, My question....Should it matter how much money a man/woman makes and what type of job he/she has when it comes to dating and possible marriage?
Thoughts....Opinions.....Personal experiences....are all appreciated.
It shouldn't matter.
My ex was a bit whiny about my salary (for a very well paid job in field I had no college education for) compared to my ex's salary (a job requiring a certification, and for which my spouse had a master's degree in the subject).
I made almost 3x her salary, for which I heard some complaints about having simply stumbled across a good job randomly. (Actually, it was a series of jobs that earned steadily more over the years, advancing in responsibility, and the field TODAY requires require a MS for entry).
She seemed to resent that I made more with less "skills" than her.
A bit of self doubt was injected into the relationship by that (and a myriad of other things), and we split in 2009.
It doesn't matter to me as long as you're not earning your money doing something illegal.
However I made 3x more than my ex and I am pretty sure it bothered him more than it bothered me. Mainly because him not being the breadwinner made him feel like he couldn't "take care of me" in the traditional sense and I know it made him feel emasculated.
His finances never bothered me until it was clear he couldn't manage them. He had to move back with his parents because after we broke off because he couldn't afford his own place and would have barely been able to afford our old 2BR apt. even with a roommate.
Very true. A wonderfully ever-fascinating melting pot it is!
So true! I was down there in 2009, and walking around shopping in Charlotte Amalie, and somehow ended up in conversation with a lady vendor. Come to find out, we went to high school together!! She had gone down there to vacation many years ago, and decided to stay. Talk about a small world...I was amazed.
Need some advice on potential dating partners. I am a 30 year old male currently living in New Jersey. Work as a college professor and make decent money.
Lately, I have been getting quite a bit of attention from some of my current & previous female students as well as women who work in the local supermarket that I shop at. These women are VERY ATTRACTIVE are very personable and seem to NOT have an "emotional wall" up that I discover when I am around women who are more educated and financially stable.
My question....Should it matter how much money a man/woman makes and what type of job he/she has when it comes to dating and possible marriage?
Would any of you consider marrying someone who made minimum wage or significantly less than you?
Thoughts....Opinions.....Personal experiences....are all appreciated.
Interesting post.
In my experience, men typically don't care that a woman makes less than them, in fact they acually prefer such women than those who make equal to or more than them because, the latter makes them feel emasculated like someone else pointed out. Ofcourse there are exceptions, but typically, women are the ones more focused on financial security in a mate, than a man is.
What I find interesting about your post is that you think women who make less than you have no "emotional wall" up compared to those who make more. Do you mean they are closed off or guarded? That part of your post was not clear
It's strange.
If I work really hard, and I make a ton of money, then I will use it to get better things, right?
Better food, better service, better quality XYZ, etc.
Why is it such a big deal if I'd expect a better quality mate?
You accomplish for the sense of accomplishment and a commitment to excellence, but also because of the secondary benefits you can get. What is the point of saying these people should lower their expectations about anything, least of all the one thing that will have the most influence over your happiness - your spouse?
It's strange.
If I work really hard, and I make a ton of money, then I will use it to get better things, right?
Better food, better service, better quality XYZ, etc.
Why is it such a big deal if I'd expect a better quality mate?
You accomplish for the sense of accomplishment and a commitment to excellence, but also because of the secondary benefits you can get. What is the point of saying these people should lower their expectations about anything, least of all the one thing that will have the most influence over your happiness - your spouse?
What does "better quality" mean exactly? Busted guy who makes good money can get a 10? Smart guy who makes a lot of money wants a smart girl? With guys it's always the 10. Guys sense of upgrade always revolves around getting someone out of their league in the looks (not brains) department.
What does "better quality" mean exactly? Busted guy who makes good money can get a 10? Smart guy who makes a lot of money wants a smart girl? With guys it's always the 10. Guys sense of upgrade always revolves around getting someone out of their league in the looks (not brains) department.
I'm educated, responsible, and come from a good family with good family values and strong bonds; we're all upper middle class or better, masters degree or better (mostly PhD/MD/JD/MBA arena), community service-oriented, generous, thoughtful, athletic, well-traveled, and well-read. We're savers and we think the education of our children is the most important thing. This is my entire family, including 6 uncles and 6 aunts and all their children.
I see nothing wrong with expecting the same kind of person to be with.
But you'll see the politically correct police marching up and down these threads saying that expecting that is ridiculous or shallow or not in the spirit of true love, etc. Guess what? There is one divorce in our entire family history (including aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, etc) and many, many happy marriages. Because the number one philosophy is get with someone you have background and stuff in common with.
Of course, in the end, any two people with good hearts and similar goals can get together and make a really great life together. But I think it's kind of lame to diss the folks who are going for the overall fit.
Money is one of the biggest causes of marriage problems, so it's not a good idea.
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