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Okay, here goes. I've been single a while and recently decided I wanted to start dating again. The problem is that if I meet a guy in a bar it's either just a one night stand (now if that's what I want I have no problem with it) or they are always at the bar and that's pretty much their life.
I like to work out, see movies and shows, go kayaking, and lots of other stuff. So...
As a gay man (who I've been told is quite attractive) how do I approach someone I may be interested in? It seems awkward to approach someone you don't know (like at the gym or at my office building, etc). What do you say? How do you come off confident, but with out making it obvious that you are interested (don't want to look like a freak), and how do you gauge if they are just friendly to you or might be receptive to a date? Any ideas?
Well, there is always the hand under the toilet stall
But maybe getting involved with some volunteer work that tends to have gay supporters. You would make friends and expand your social network. Or a gay-friendly church if you are religious.
I am involved in volunteer work and the only single guys that I meet seem to be gay And the guys single guys in my church who have any life in them seem to be gay, too.
EDIT- Okay, in rereading your post, I see you are asking about approaching a guy that has already caught your eye. That is hard. I agree with the Goddess. If you find your answer, share it with the rest of us!
My mom always tells me that people should meet "at the grocery store" etc.
It's so hard to meet people that way! Every guy I meet is from a bar/club or from online. I never have people ask me out in a store. Only one time someone hit on me near the Whole Foods BBQ tofu and it was totally weird.
At a bar, or in some sort of social night setting, you can always compliment them on their shirt. It's a little lame, but it can get the ball rolling. Although it might not work so well if they're wearing something like a Planet Hollywood t-shirt.
Okay, here goes. I've been single a while and recently decided I wanted to start dating again. The problem is that if I meet a guy in a bar it's either just a one night stand (now if that's what I want I have no problem with it) or they are always at the bar and that's pretty much their life.
I like to work out, see movies and shows, go kayaking, and lots of other stuff. So...
As a gay man (who I've been told is quite attractive) how do I approach someone I may be interested in? It seems awkward to approach someone you don't know (like at the gym or at my office building, etc). What do you say? How do you come off confident, but with out making it obvious that you are interested (don't want to look like a freak), and how do you gauge if they are just friendly to you or might be receptive to a date? Any ideas?
As far as the confidence factor goes...only you can really answer that.
It's something a person either has or they don't.
Replacing fear and apprehension with positive thoughts and an optimistic outlook does help.
But at the same time you don't want to come across as being needy or desperate.
People can usually pick up on those vibes.
Most important thing is to relax and be yourself...
Getting involved in activities that you enjoy is a start.
Personally, I would feel more comfortable and confident participating in an activity that I have
knowledge of or at least an interest in. Or take a chance and try something totally new.
As far as trying to gauge if they're just being friendly or if they're dating potential.
I think all that comes with time, conversation and sharing thoughts with each other.
Communication, time and patience are key.
And don't forget most single people feel the same way you do at first with the apprehensions and everything
else that goes along with it...it takes time to meet quality people.
*Think positive*
Thanks. For the record, I'm very confident. I can pick up someone every night at a bar if that's what I wanted. It just almost seems rude to approach someone you don't know in a different environment. Guess that's just my New England sensibilites talking (I think that's why Bostonians have a rep for being unfriendly).
Well, I'm just going to have to find a reason to speak to someone at the gym, or other events and hope they don't look at me like I'm from Mars. Thanks guys!
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And the guys single guys in my church who have any life in them seem to be gay, too.
just joking, I wouldn't have a clue.
