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I dated a woman this year for nearly two months, the longest I've ever dated someone. We had fantastic chemistry and values, physical attraction, and could talk for hours. I knew she was recently out of a 3-year relationship which stalled our intimacy, but she seemed to be letting go of this and things were picking up wonderfully. Then suddenly, things came into question with her uncertain if she's ready for a new relationship. I probably didn't handle this as well as I could have and soon she apologized and ended things. Our farewell conversation was very cheerful and nice, but over the next months depression really sunk in.
She was the best, most compatible woman I've ever met, and I still think of her obsessively. We share a pretty unique set of values. In the almost 5 months since, I've been dating and gotten nowhere. I have a strong urge to go talk to her in person, but I already called her in June and never heard back. Whether she stayed single, got back with her ex, or is with someone new I've no idea. Waves of sadness and depression hit me every day and I'm afraid of never finding someone right for me. I sometimes tear up, and I question who I am and where my life's headed.
I turn 26 soon and, then free from my parents' insurance, plan to see a therapist. I wanted to see if anyone here has any other advice on how to deal with my obsession with this woman. Would it make any sense to go talk to her one last time? Should I just go to therapy? God dammit, I really miss her.
I dated a woman this year for nearly two months, the longest I've ever dated someone. We had fantastic chemistry and values, physical attraction, and could talk for hours. I knew she was recently out of a 3-year relationship which stalled our intimacy, but she seemed to be letting go of this and things were picking up wonderfully. Then suddenly, things came into question with her uncertain if she's ready for a new relationship. I probably didn't handle this as well as I could have and soon she apologized and ended things. Our farewell conversation was very cheerful and nice, but over the next months depression really sunk in.
She was the best, most compatible woman I've ever met, and I still think of her obsessively. We share a pretty unique set of values. In the almost 5 months since, I've been dating and gotten nowhere. I have a strong urge to go talk to her in person, but I already called her in June and never heard back. Whether she stayed single, got back with her ex, or is with someone new I've no idea. Waves of sadness and depression hit me every day and I'm afraid of never finding someone right for me. I sometimes tear up, and I question who I am and where my life's headed.
I turn 26 soon and, then free from my parents' insurance, plan to see a therapist. I wanted to see if anyone here has any other advice on how to deal with my obsession with this woman. Would it make any sense to go talk to her one last time? Should I just go to therapy? God dammit, I really miss her.
Please, do NOT contact her. It will not work and she has already blown you off (not intentional, she saw your missed call and CHOSE not to return it).
Remember the saying 'time heals all wounds.' It will hold true here, although your coping skills aren't very good as evidenced by the fact that you're still this obsessed so long out. I'm not going to tell you not to consider therapy, but it's unlikely to help.
What are the chances you'll run into her around town? Seeing her could make things worse (out of sight out of mind), but don't make any adjustments to your schedule based on the likelihood of seeing her.
If she wants to get back with you (which she does not), she'll contact you (which she will not). I know it's tough, but stick to your guns and do NOT contact her under ANY circumstance. Do not tell any mutual friends to say Hi to her or send you a message/give you a call sometime. It's easier said than done, but go on with your daily life. GL!
Two months of dating and you need therapy? I'm sure she was a wonderful girl however, there is no human on this planet worth all the emotional anguish you seem to be putting yourself through. Do not contact her at all if she decides she want to continue things with you she will let you know. Until that happens if it does you need to focus on the rest of your life.
I dated a woman this year for nearly two months, the longest I've ever dated someone. We had fantastic chemistry and values, physical attraction, and could talk for hours. I knew she was recently out of a 3-year relationship which stalled our intimacy, but she seemed to be letting go of this and things were picking up wonderfully. Then suddenly, things came into question with her uncertain if she's ready for a new relationship. I probably didn't handle this as well as I could have and soon she apologized and ended things. Our farewell conversation was very cheerful and nice, but over the next months depression really sunk in.
She was the best, most compatible woman I've ever met, and I still think of her obsessively. We share a pretty unique set of values. In the almost 5 months since, I've been dating and gotten nowhere. I have a strong urge to go talk to her in person, but I already called her in June and never heard back. Whether she stayed single, got back with her ex, or is with someone new I've no idea. Waves of sadness and depression hit me every day and I'm afraid of never finding someone right for me. I sometimes tear up, and I question who I am and where my life's headed.
I turn 26 soon and, then free from my parents' insurance, plan to see a therapist. I wanted to see if anyone here has any other advice on how to deal with my obsession with this woman. Would it make any sense to go talk to her one last time? Should I just go to therapy? God dammit, I really miss her.
I'm in a similar situation: liked and dated a girl, things ended badly (she ended it). Only difference is that I'm still friends with her on FB (and I see that she is dating other guys) and she still responds to me when I message her (so I guess she hasn't totally closed the door yet).
The only thing you can really do is go out and meet other women. I'm currently doing that and, honestly, I still miss her, but it's definitely helping. Also, it's gotten me my confidence back.
Two months of dating and you need therapy? I'm sure she was a wonderful girl however, there is no human on this planet worth all the emotional anguish you seem to be putting yourself through.
My whole adult life has been without a real relationship. I've never been in love, and it's starting to break my spirit. I did go out with a fantastic girl in July and we were guaranteed to go out again, then immediately after asking about going out again, she suddenly dumped me for a friend-turned-boyfriend, which really broke me down even more. Chemistry doesn't even matter. It feels so damn hopeless.
Two months of dating and you need therapy? I'm sure she was a wonderful girl however, there is no human on this planet worth all the emotional anguish you seem to be putting yourself through. Do not contact her at all if she decides she want to continue things with you she will let you know. Until that happens if it does you need to focus on the rest of your life.
I agree with this, but if this was the longest relationship that the OP has had it is likely that he has confidence issues. There probably is more at work here than just the break up, and the OP could probably benefit greatly from therapy.
OP, I don't mean the above statement to demean you. Seeking therapy doesn't mean that you are lacking or less than anyone. It just means that you need to learn to deal with certain things in a better way. Since you seem to have adequate insurance coverage, you might try seeking out a counselor who specializes in relationship therapy.
I agree with this, but if this was the longest relationship that the OP has had it is likely that he has confidence issues. There probably is more at work here than just the break up, and the OP could probably benefit greatly from therapy.
OP, I don't mean the above statement to demean you. Seeking therapy doesn't mean that you are lacking or less than anyone. It just means that you need to learn to deal with certain things in a better way. Since you seem to have adequate insurance coverage, you might try seeking out a counselor who specializes in relationship therapy.
Good luck to you!
More confidence with women can be achieved by increasing interactions and experience with women than by talking about one's feelings to someone that may or may not be a successful dater. Wouldn't you think?
I'm in a similar situation: liked and dated a girl, things ended badly (she ended it). Only difference is that I'm still friends with her on FB (and I see that she is dating other guys) and she still responds to me when I message her (so I guess she hasn't totally closed the door yet).
The only thing you can really do is go out and meet other women. I'm currently doing that and, honestly, I still miss her, but it's definitely helping. Also, it's gotten me my confidence back.
The fact that she RESPONDS to messages YOU INITIATE means NOTHING. She's just being polite. How often does she message you unsolicited? Probably never. You know she's seeing other guys. You and her will not be getting back together, especially since it ended badly on her accord.
That said, you're wise to move onto others, bc that's what you need to do to find the right one and to regain confidence.
More confidence with women can be achieved by increasing interactions and experience with women than talking about one's feelings to someone that may or may not also have dating issues. Wouldn't you think?
I don't think therapy will be very helpful.
The early dating stage confidence isn't an issue. I've dated many women and had fantastic dates. I can approach women and enthusiastically meet them. But it always falls apart in some messed up way, often beyond my control. The idea of a serious relationship feels so unrealistic to me because I've had that rare, fantastic chemistry yet had our dating situation die so easily.
The fact that she RESPONDS to messages YOU INITIATE means NOTHING. She's just being polite. How often does she message you unsolicited? Probably never. You know she's seeing other guys. You and her will not be getting back together, especially since it ended badly on her accord.
That said, you're wise to move onto others, bc that's what you need to do to find the right one and to regain confidence.
Really? Thanks bro. Because I definitely didn't say that I was already doing that
Next time, read the whole post before you decide to comment
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