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Another good benchmark is to apply Kan'ts theory of universal effect. If you have a principle, and made it so that everyone had to follow it, would the overall effect be for good or for ill? And since the overall affect of everyone being free sexually would neither be particularly good or particularly ill, we can say that it's just one of those things that is outside the realm of morality and should be purely personal preference.
Another good benchmark is to apply Kan'ts theory of universal effect. If you have a principle, and made it so that everyone had to follow it, would the overall effect be for good or for ill? And since the overall affect of everyone being free sexually would neither be particularly good or particularly ill, we can say that it's just one of those things that is outside the realm of morality and should be purely personal preference.
It always disturbs me when I find that I agree with drunken waterfowl.
Meh. There's always people who are going to attach a certain amount of "dirtiness" to sex. I do believe some people can be very promiscuous and then settle down. Two of my exes were very promiscuous, and yet completely faithful when they were in committed relationships as adults - I was intimately acquainted with people from their pasts and there was never even a hint from anyone that they might have cheated on previous partners. And I am certain they never cheated on me when we were together. They both had very high sex drives and would have loved to settle down with one woman (with an equally high sex drive), but until that happened, while unattached, they were perfectly happy to romp in the sheets with whatever attractive and reasonably intelligent women presented themselves. They just really like sex. I've known a few women who were similar. Yes, sometimes it's an indicator of serious mental health issues, but just as often it's just a sign of a very high sex drive and likeability. Heck, I have a very high sex drive, and if I wasn't so paranoid about STDs (I'm kind of OCD about them), I'd be cheerfully having A LOT more sex than I do.
As for morality, I believe it to be universal at the most basic level. I ask myself "Do my actions have the potential to cause harm to others?" pretty much all the time. That's always been what guides me.
Regarding the bolded;
Of the people that I know that are promiscuous, I know each one of them to some level led on the sexual partner to some degree. There have been many hurt feelings along the way. The person who is having fun, will eventually hurt someone. It is inevitable when sexual relations are involved. I would guess that 1/3 of the people they sleep with wind up falling for them, and then they get the whole "Sorry, not feeling this, not into this, not ready to settle down," bit. But they have no problem spending 3-4-5 nights a week together, with lots of sex involved.
I wouldn't say being promiscuous is wrong.
But there is always a price....
Regarding the bolded;
Of the people that I know that are promiscuous, I know each one of them to some level led on the sexual partner to some degree. There have been many hurt feelings along the way. The person who is having fun, will eventually hurt someone. It is inevitable when sexual relations are involved. I would guess that 1/3 of the people they sleep with wind up falling for them, and then they get the whole "Sorry, not feeling this, not into this, not ready to settle down," bit. But they have no problem spending 4-5 days a week together, with lots of sex involved.
I wouldn't say being promiscuous is wrong.
But there is always a price....
I dunno. One can be promiscuous while being honest and up-front about one's emotions. One does not rule out the other.
I dunno. One can be promiscuous while being honest and up-front about one's emotions. One does not rule out the other.
I suppose it is possible. I won't argue that. But I highly doubt that each potential sexual partner has a conversation to the effect of;
"Hey, I REALLY like you. And just so you know, If case we do have sex, it will never be a long term thing, and if you can handle having fun, then we will proceed. But if you cant handle the thought of this never being a LTR, then we should stop."
I think that sometime we date in hopes of a LTR, and before "the talk" happens, sex happens. Especially the older we get. And then due to learning of each other, the coulpe decides the LTR wont work.
But, the people that I know that have had over 100 partners, were never REALLY looking to settle down. They are just having fun. And if they lead on anyone along the way, so be it.
About the promiscuous women as "trash" comment, what always gets me is when it's men who admit to be extremely promiscuous who say this about women. Like, it's fine for them to be having lots of sex and they're proud of themselves, but the women that they're sleeping with are dirty, dirty skanks. I say what's good for the goose is good for the gander. If she's a skank, then he is too.
Mostly the peoples that sleep around try and offhandedly push acceptance of their lifestyle on those that don't agree or don't want it, but they always claim it's the other way around. they do the same exact thing. but it's considered 'okay' for them to do it, only because their opinion is the majority. it's bullsh*t.
About the promiscuous women as "trash" comment, what always gets me is when it's men who admit to be extremely promiscuous who say this about women. Like, it's fine for them to be having lots of sex and they're proud of themselves, but the women that they're sleeping with are dirty, dirty skanks. I say what's good for the goose is good for the gander. If she's a skank, then he is too.
Yes, it always amazes me when these men boast that they can't wait to stick their weiner into a bag of garbage.
There is a difference between sowing your oats, and living a lifestyle..... I call it 'rock-star' syndrome. Once you experince the lifestyle, there is no going back to what you were before the 'rock-star' lifestyle. And oh yes, it holds true for women, just as much as men.
The bolded is what I think, too. Yes, I sowed my wild oats. I was young and I had my crazy fun. Now I have my crazy fun with my husband - and it's even better!
Quote:
Originally Posted by fleetiebelle
About the promiscuous women as "trash" comment, what always gets me is when it's men who admit to be extremely promiscuous who say this about women. Like, it's fine for them to be having lots of sex and they're proud of themselves, but the women that they're sleeping with are dirty, dirty skanks. I say what's good for the goose is good for the gander. If she's a skank, then he is too.
Yes and...
Quote:
Originally Posted by zentropa
Yes, it always amazes me when these men boast that they can't wait to stick their weiner into a bag of garbage.
Yes! I'm sorry - but I just don't understand being excited about having sex with trash.
It's the end of the day i want to leave so i'm trying to be quick
A lot of posters on here and people in general seem to have the mentality that women being promiscuous, or having un-commited sex, is inherently wrong. Ditto men.
Having these kinds of relationships are not wrong as long as someone doesn't try to make it more than it is. It is not a COMMITTED RELATIONSHIP. It is just sex. I have a problem with women who have sex with men and then think it entitles them to have an opinion about how a man conducts his life. There are SEVERAL threads about this on CD even as we speak.
Sex is fine, do it, do it until you're blue in the face, but don't try to legitimize it by acting like a wife or even a girlfriend for that matter (or husband/boyfriend as the case may be), because it's NOTHING.
20yrsinBranson
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but it's considered 'okay' for them to do it, only because their opinion is the majority. it's bullsh*t.
