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I heard statistically second marriages are often better then the first. I am certain not everyone has the negative traits you describe. Cast a wider net maybe? Finding a place where others share an interest that does not involve being a functional alcoholic or a sedentary lifestyle might be a good idea.
You heard wrong, second marriages have a 67% divorce rate.
Specific to your question....well that depends on YOU.
Every single guy out there aged 50 is going to have something you don't like.
He's either divorced (drama), never married (uh oh) or widowed (baggage).
See, that glass can be 1/2 empty any way you want to look at it.
I would say that you have some cause for concern because remember how in your 20's the girls had more options and power?
Well, up around age 50 due to mortality imbalances and societal pressures etc. the pendulum has swung somewhat in the other dimension.
Imagine you have some 50yo guy in good shape, financially sound, just great all-around? Yeah, your competition EASILY goes all the way down to gals in their late 30's.
I think it can be especially tough on a gal that was used to being able to land a certain calibre of guy in their 20's....but they are now 50ish and there is now MUCH more serious competition for that calibre of guy. That's why we see threads like this not-infrequently around here over the years.
So, let's not kid ourselves....it's a real issue....but there are guys out there. It depends on the individual. I think some people have unrealistic expectations though.
When I was dating in my forties, I didn't have any trouble attracting decent men ranging from age 35 to 60. In fact, I had to nearly be rude to a cutie in his thirties who just couldn't understand why this "cougar" wasn't particularly interested in him. My gosh, I am a grandmother and he had never even been married and had no kids! NO THANK YOU.
My husband was 47 when we met. Handsome, great job, nice home on 18 acres, only one son who was a teenager and an honor student, respectful, etc. Believe me, that man was being pursued by women of every age and caliber when we met. His phone would hardly stop ringing (I never did call him, by the way - hint, ladies!).
What I saw when he showed me his online dating "matches" (and subsequent dates in some cases) were lots of desperate women looking for a sugar daddy. This pursuit included sending him risque photos (if they even knew him, they would know that would be a turnoff to him), incessant phone calls, stalking him, and glaring at us when he and I went out to dinner. Oh, and sitting out in his driveway trying to ask him why he "thought he was too good for her." PLEASE!
Ladies - don't be so blatantly and obviously DESPERATE! A middle aged man with an established career, and healthy self esteem, who loves good conversation with a mature soul mate, won't be interested in bimbos with boob jobs! He will, however, expect you to have your own house in order and to keep yourself fit, attractive, and intellectually interesting, as well as passionate and thoughtful.
If you've got some work to do, take yourself off the market till you get your affairs in order and get yourself pulled together. I promise, as this poster says, there ARE good men out there. But they are going to be "particular" - and why shouldn't they be?
I think there are two things going on here. First off if the women aren't prizes themselves they aren't going to get that great. The mistake so many make (men and women)are trying to get much better than they deserve. I know several people who married their second spouse and are happy. In fact my relatives who had a nasty first spouse married great people second time around.
As for being a shortage yes there is a shortage but depends on what you are looking for. I want a never married childless Catholic yet have met quite a few so they are out there. However I have to settle on other things, like maybe looks, or height or income but none of that is important to me.
I have a good friend who is in an unhappy marriage. Well, let me clarify that - she is an unhappy person in a marriage, and subsequently the marriage is unhappy along with the rest of her life situation.
She is always going on about how "lucky" I was to get out of a bad marriage and find a good man - and how she wishes she had a man as good as my husband, and how she wants to get a divorce (but she wants to find that "good man" first and THEN get a divorce - not the route I took at all!) so she can hook up with a man like my husband.
If my husband didn't think she was a royal pain in the arse, I'd be more worried about her making a move on HIM. Not that I'd feel threatened, but that would be...awkward...
I mean obviously she justifies having an affair because she's "unhappy." So now we're just talking about WHO'S marriage she is going to destroy - just her own or someone else's as well?
Anyway. I didn't divorce my ex husband because I was unhappy - I divorced him because he cheated on me repeatedly. I didn't divorce him hoping to "upgrade." I divorced him because I wasn't going to tolerate that level of disrespect - I didn't care if I had to be single for the rest of my days.
Of course there is still hope, but if you don't mind being alone, that may be how it ends up. What does college educated professional have to do w/anything? Do you think you are too good to be w/someone who does not have a college degree?? A lot of guys that age do not since it was not needed for every type of job like it is now. There are some very successful men w/o college degrees. What do you consider professional? Maybe you are being too picky. The only single guys in your age range are divorced (probably due to something they did, c'mon we all know it's true), widowed or have just been whoring around for years. What do you expect? Maybe just try to find a guy that treats you nice. Don't be so concerned about material crap and "status". Good luck.
If I was 50 and still single, I would just move to Thailand or something and marry a young pretty Thai girl. I'd much rather have that than an old entitled American lady.
You will be happier. I have been to Thailand are there are many younger and sweet humble women who don't have all these unrealistic expectations and feelings of entitlement.
I have a good friend who is in an unhappy marriage. Well, let me clarify that - she is an unhappy person in a marriage, and subsequently the marriage is unhappy along with the rest of her life situation.
She is always going on about how "lucky" I was to get out of a bad marriage and find a good man - and how she wishes she had a man as good as my husband, and how she wants to get a divorce (but she wants to find that "good man" first and THEN get a divorce - not the route I took at all!) so she can hook up with a man like my husband.
If my husband didn't think she was a royal pain in the arse, I'd be more worried about her making a move on HIM. Not that I'd feel threatened, but that would be...awkward...
I mean obviously she justifies having an affair because she's "unhappy." So now we're just talking about WHO'S marriage she is going to destroy - just her own or someone else's as well?
Anyway. I didn't divorce my ex husband because I was unhappy - I divorced him because he cheated on me repeatedly. I didn't divorce him hoping to "upgrade." I divorced him because I wasn't going to tolerate that level of disrespect - I didn't care if I had to be single for the rest of my days.
Good for you..but the stats show that as women gets older and older the available good single men dwindles dramatically. I think its 25 single women to 10 single men by the time you reach 60.
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in order and get yourself pulled together. I promise, as this poster says, there ARE good men out there. But they are going to be "particular" - and why shouldn't they be?
