Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
1 hour isn't a big deal, but soon he will be about 4 hours away when he transfers to his new college. Being 1 hour away is probably the most minor issue right now. Financially, driving is somewhat of a strain on both of us, so our visits haven't been that frequent because we don't work too many hours during the school year.
Yeah, it's important to acknowledge - the distance is not really a "big deal" - the big deal is that your feelings have changed.
And hey, that happens. Sucks when it does, for both parties, but you just have to move on.
Good luck talking with him. I appreciate that you are wanting to make this as easy on him as possible and are being sensitive to the right time and place. Since he lives at home with his parents maybe you can get him to meet you at a nice park nearby?
One hour isn't a big deal at all...if you want to make it work, you guys will. But I suspect that you don't want to make it work, and there's not necessarily anything wrong with that. You're unhappy and that's okay.
I was in a similar situation recently. I was in a serious relationship with a guy for a year, and he moved to Alabama for a year. I was entering college and he's still in highschool. He was determined that we were going to make it through this period, but I was really just over the relationship. Things were changing and I wanted to start dating people more mature. One two hour phone call ended that...there were a lot of tears on his end and two months later he's still taking it hard, but there's no reason to stay in a relationship if you're not happy.
I know it's going to be hard. I still get kinda queasy thinking about that conversation. :/ That was the first time I had ever had to break up with anyone, and him being across the country did make it a little easier, i'll admit! LOL. Horrible, I know. But breaking up is never easy. Nike: JUST DO IT.
You will be showing him that you do love and respect him by breaking up because of your separate lives. College is an important and transformational time. By allowing him (and yourself) to fully experience it without the distraction of a long distance romance, you'll both be able to get the most from your education.
He may also may feel the same way, especially once he moves to the new school.
I think a 2 hr drive to get there and back plus a 2-3 hr visit is a big chunk out of a working student's day.
Tell him you want to talk about the relationship and meet somewhere neutral and private.
Sent from my SCH-I535 using Tapatalk 2
That is a good idea. Meet in a public restaurant, that may help to keep any drama down. You are very young...21 is an unsettling age at best imo. But, it is also a time where you are figuring out You.
If you are not feeling it anymore you owe it to yourself and him to let him know and wish him the best and you may be able to remain friends.
It isn't easy hurting someone, and the fact you don't want to hurt him is commendable...You are not a bad person for not wanting to remain in a relationship that isn't what you want, especially for the long term. You're actually a better person for recognizing it, and making it known so that neither of you waste anymore time. Good luck and try not to beat yourself up, you are doing the right thing, for the right reasons.
If I was the guy I would just tell you to tell me what you have to say on the phone. Just get it over with so the guy can get busy finding a girl that enjoys his company.
Agreed. If it were me, I'd hate to have been looking forward to seeing this person (esp. since you don't hang out often) and then being dumped. I say have a long conversation on the phone.
Agreed. If it were me, I'd hate to have been looking forward to seeing this person (esp. since you don't hang out often) and then being dumped. I say have a long conversation on the phone.
I agree with you here. It seems cruel to make plans to meet someone long-distance just to break up with them. He'll be looking forward to seeing you and will feel like a big jackass when you dump him.
No need to waste his time planning a meet. Not to mention if he has to drive there, then he has to drive home and I can imagine that drive home would be pretty miserable. Because this is long distance, I think it's just better to do it in a phone call. He can hang up and feel whatever emotions he needs to feel, without trying to save face (if you did this in public).
Im in a relationship right now with a guy that lives in miami. I live in the DM(V) which is about 15 hours apart. I just really lost feelings for this guy because he has anger issues and family problems. (I respect him all the way but we never talk about our plans after high school). Weve been dating for 1 year and ive only seen him 4 times. Over the time we had been dating i had a friend (that is a guy) that ive really started to get feelings for. Ive known him since 6th grade and now im a junior. I know how u must feel because im in a tough sutuation too. I called him a couple nights ago explaining that we should be friends but he started crying and he never cries. He kept telling me he loves me and doesnt want to lose me. I really dont know how to break up with him without breaking him. He use to do drugs and alcohol but ever since we started dating he stopped. I remember once on facetime his friend took his phone and told me that i was changing him. Im afriad that if i break up with him hes going to go back to these drugs and being an alcoholic. I love him too but its just not going to work out. Today im going to call him starting with how much fun weve had over the year and then start bringing in the negative effects in our relationship. Just talk to your boyfriend. If he truley does love you he will respect your desicion. But i guess the truth is someone is going to get hurt. And you just have to find a way to make it ok.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
LOL. Horrible, I know. But breaking up is never easy. Nike: JUST DO IT.
