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If you're single, over 35 and child free, and not planing to have any is it harder for you to find a mate especially if you don't want to become involved with anyone with children?
If you're single, over 35 and child free, and not planing to have any is it harder for you to find a mate especially if you don't want to become involved with anyone with children?
Yeah, there are a lot of women with kids, that's for sure, and I'm not a kid person.
There are also some single women without kids in that demographic, who either don't want kids or are panicking to have kids. I haven't met many I liked and I avoid the latter. Many of the exchanges went like this. I joined up a religiously affiliated on-line dating service. I got an inquiry from this woman with a Columbia MBA. My messages were more detailed and well-constructed than hers. And I'm not saying that to pat myself on the back, since I probably couldn't have gotten in to Columbia. What I am saying is how terse and business-like she was. Her messaging style matched her picture. What a friggin' turn-off.
If you're single, over 35 and child free, and not planing to have any is it harder for you to find a mate especially if you don't want to become involved with anyone with children?
I have dated women with children. Though I probably don't want kids of my own, a potential mate with 1 child would be OK. Any more is a little rough.
I'm kind of agenda-less, so that's why I'm single and child-free at 36, I think. My friends who are married parents really really wanted to be married parents. They were aiming for those goals. I'm more of an "in the moment" type of person, I've realized. I always thought I wanted to be a wife and mother growing up, but it was pretty much just me reflecting societal expectations (and my mother's fervent desire to be a grandmother). A while back I realized that while I said I wanted kids and a marriage, when I envisioned my future, those dreams always featured me, happy as a clam in a house with no one but my dogs and my books.
Now I'm not saying I'd never have kids. I like them, get along well with them and have mentored a few over the course of my life. I may adopt if I'm still childless in a decade and feeling an urge to parent. But as a woman of 36, I'm not having problems because I'm not freaking out over my rapidly expiring ovaries. Most of the guys I date either don't want kids at all and don't have them or have already had their kids and are content not to have any. I tend to avoid guys who have "I really want to have a family" in their online profile and list their age as over 40. I just don't feel the urgency that dating such a guy would require
And now that Princess Bubbles (my mother) has a Pomeranian to keep her entertained, I don't have to field the grandchild requests nearly as often
I don't have to field the grandchild requests nearly as often
Not referring to your mother, but people are really intrusive, in this order of intrusiveness:
- if not married, why aren't you married...
- if without children, why don't you have children...
- if you split up with a SO, why did you split up...
I wouldn't even pry on this stuff with close friends, but obnoxious people who lack boundaries ask these questions without giving it a thought.
If you're single, over 35 and child free, and not planing to have any is it harder for you to find a mate especially if you don't want to become involved with anyone with children?
Being over 35 and not having, or wanting, children has not made a noticeable dent in the size of my dating pool; however, if I were to refuse to get involved with women who had children, my dating pool would probably dry up completely. Statistically, most women over 35 have children. Cut them out of your potential dating pool, and you're cutting out a the majority of women in that age range. Plus, men over 35 who refuse to date women with children tend to come across as immature and unrealistic (which they often are).
I'm not quite 35 yet, but not having children has not hurt me in the dating world. If anything, it has made me a hot commodity with the kind of men I like.
Being over 35 and not having, or wanting, children has not made a noticeable dent in the size of my dating pool; however, if I were to refuse to get involved with women who had children, my dating pool would probably dry up completely. Statistically, most women over 35 have children. Cut them out of your potential dating pool, and you're cutting out a the majority of women in that age range. Plus, men over 35 who refuse to date women with children tend to come across as immature and unrealistic (which they often are).
You had a pretty good post until the part in bold. No need to "knock" guys that don't want women with children. Just because YOU DO doesn't make you any more of a man than those that don't. People like what they like, no harm in that is there?
Statistically, most women over 35 have children. Cut them out of your potential dating pool, and you're cutting out a the majority of women in that age range. Plus, men over 35 who refuse to date women with children tend to come across as immature and unrealistic (which they often are).
Please elaborate on the bold. True about probability, but I've also seen guys hold out and end up with a woman who didn't have any kids. It just takes way more work. I don't think that wanting to start on an equal footing is either immature or unrealistic.
Let me add how douchy this one woman was. She was a little over 35, had never had kids, I am almost certain that she could not, for medical reasons. On a date, she asked about my dating scenarios. I told her I wouldn't date a woman with kids. She got upset, saying "Reaaalllllyyyyy?" Turns out her younger sister was a divorcee with 2 kids, leaving some USC frat boy with whom she had purchased a home in Orange County. Evidently, the empathy for her sister conflicted with my expressing what I really thought, and which was in no way a slight on her.
You had a pretty good post until the part in bold. No need to "knock" guys that don't want women with children. Just because YOU DO doesn't make you any more of a man than those that don't. People like what they like, no harm in that is there?
I wasn't knocking; it's true. Ask men over 35 who refuse to date women with children. 9 times out of 10, their answers are identical to those given by 21 year olds--i.e. they don't want to compete with children for attention, they don't want to miss nights out because of babysitting issues, the don't want "drama," etc.
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