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I'd go out on one date with her. You might turn out to like her even if you're pretty sure now you won't. If not, it's just a date. Have a fun night as friends. She won't be able to say you didn't even give her a chance.
What difference does it make? It takes a certain personality to do FWB and the OP doesn't seem like the type who goes around screwing anything that isn't nailed down. And if the girl is more interested in him than he is in her, how do you think she'll feel about having a non-emotional FWB relationship? I really don't understand how some posters just throw FWB suggestions at someone. FWB might work for YOU, not for him.
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Originally Posted by Bronxguyanese
Your not attracted to get physically or is it her personality that is a turnoff?
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Originally Posted by cpg35223
Yep. Better now than later.
And, no matter what you do, don't climb into the sack with her. It will make a tough situation a good deal worse.
Pop shrink time: you said you never thought you'd be in this situation. Does that mean you're usually the one crushing, without the feelings being returned? If so, I'd bet dollars to donuts that you're a commitmentphobe. You crush only on people you deep down know you could never have. Then when the real deal is in front of you, you just don't seem to "feel it."
If this is incorrect, then my bad.
So true, and have been down that road before. You crush on what you can't have, because it's fun to crush on the unobtainable. If you were to get your crush, you would likely drop her very quickly.
Sometimes, you have to run with what you think isn't there to develop more down the road. I have the crushes where we talked for weeks and really seemed to like each other, but for one reason or another, we could never get to anything more than just friends. There was nothing wrong with that, but I clearly "wasted" time on something that I could never have on a romantic level. Really fun people to be around, but even in hindsight, with some further analysis, we wouldn't have been all that compatible romantic wise.
In the end, I always seem to get involved with someone who can make the time for me, and not the ones that are relatively busy and stay in the "prospect isle." I've yet to make a relationship work from the prospect isle, but I've had a few work from just taking a chance with someone that I knew I liked, but wasn't wild and crazy about. Chemistry plays a big part, but I think life choices and decision making make a big part as well.
personally i would go on the date and see how things go. If there are no sparks, then let her down gently. if you cancel now, you are never giving it a chance.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bellakin123
What difference does it make? It takes a certain personality to do FWB and the OP doesn't seem like the type who goes around screwing anything that isn't nailed down. And if the girl is more interested in him than he is in her, how do you think she'll feel about having a non-emotional FWB relationship? I really don't understand how some posters just throw FWB suggestions at someone. FWB might work for YOU, not for him.
^^Can't stress that enough!
Well, I'm not TOTALLY opposed to a FWB situation in general as I've made clear on here.. The problem is I already know she likes me more than I like her. That would not end well. I think it is better to not open that door. I think I'm gonna break the date also. No use leading her on when I have other girls I'm chasing harder.
Well, I'm not TOTALLY opposed to a FWB situation in general as I've made clear on here.. The problem is I already know she likes me more than I like her. That would not end well. I think it is better to not open that door. I think I'm gonna break the date also. No use leading her on when I have other girls I'm chasing harder.
I know...I meant you don't seem the type to do a FWB with just anyone. And you're right...she likes you more so having a FWB with her is a BAD idea. Can't have any emotions invested.
If you're sure about how you feel then definitely be honest with her...you're sure that meeting her once wouldn't change your mind? And the girls your "chasing harder"...have they expressed interest?
Well, I'm not TOTALLY opposed to a FWB situation in general as I've made clear on here.. The problem is I already know she likes me more than I like her. That would not end well. I think it is better to not open that door. I think I'm gonna break the date also. No use leading her on when I have other girls I'm chasing harder.
Sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders.
And shame on anyone who would encourage you to exploit this woman's feelings just to get your rocks off in a FWB type of relationship. (Bronx, I'm looking at you.)
You're a grown man who has had one date in his entire life and now you are trying to stir up drama? If you don't want to go, just cancel. I'm pretty sure she'll get over it.
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What difference does it make? It takes a certain personality to do FWB and the OP doesn't seem like the type who goes around screwing anything that isn't nailed down. And if the girl is more interested in him than he is in her, how do you think she'll feel about having a non-emotional FWB relationship? I really don't understand how some posters just throw FWB suggestions at someone. FWB might work for YOU, not for him.
