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Very interesting point. I assume you are 100 percent right except for he has one thing to lose - his self-esteem.
Looks like you painted this guy as not having much self-esteem at all.
Be honest and let her know that you're not made of money. if that doesn't bother her, then she should continue in asking him out because there's always ways to enjoy each other's company without spending a lot of money.
John shouldn't assume that Jane cares so much about whether he commutes or owns an apartment. If I were Jane, I'd wonder if John is a narcissist just trying to prove to himself that he can get a woman's attention. Even if that's not the case, as I understand.
He is not in a tight spot but Jane definitely makes more money than he does.
Well, I made waaaaay more money than my now-DH when we met and for years after, and I didn't think of it as a hindrance. I really didn't think of it at all -- when we were dating our money was our own business, and after we got married, all the money went into one household pot, so to speak.
Be honest and let her know that you're not made of money. if that doesn't bother her, then she should continue in asking him out because there's always ways to enjoy each other's company without spending a lot of money.
Or, just don't mention money at all when you ask for the date. Why should you? It sounds REALLY insecure if you come out with it: "Listen, I make xK/year, just letting you know up front. Go on now if you're not into me any more..." Just don't mention it. It has nothing to do with anything right now. If you were living together it would, but you haven't even gotten to a first date.
1. John and Jane met a couple of days ago.
2. John likes Jane. Even though John pays sincere compliments letting Jane know how beautiful she is he is not going to ask her for a date for some reasons*.
3. Jane likes John. Jane lets John know she would like to have a date with him.
The questions is if you were Jane how you would consider John's behavior? I see it as John gives her a hope that in fact doesn't exist. So, it is not fair. On the other hand, many women like to hear compliments and like to be wooed.
* The real reason is John doesn't have much to offer moneywise. John still can't purchase an apartment. The second reason is Jane is a large city native while John is a commuter who lives in a small town. He lives and works in the Jane's city only five days a week.
I suppose John can sit back and wait to see who dicks Jane.
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I assume you are 100 percent right except for he has one thing to lose - his self-esteem.
