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The fact of the matter is, "anywhere" and "everywhere" was fine before and now for some reason it's not. And various positions were fine before and now this or that position hurts and missionary is kind of the only acceptable position now. It's like the sex/love trap. Get a man then change into a prude. ..
So did you talk to her yet? That would be the thing to do.
Sometimes women want just sex. Sometimes they want something more than that. Problem is, most men just want wham bam thank you mam relations.
I don't think that's true. I think men in hook-up situations just want that because they don't give a crap nor respect the girl. Men in relationships, like the op, however, most often really want to please their partner. Of course there are exceptions to the rule but it generally holds true. There are studies showing that women in one night stands and hook-ups achieve orgasm much less frequently than women having sex within a relationship.
Others may have said this, but it sounds like she is looking for other demonstrations of love. Women speak different languages when it comes to love. Sex is the man's primary language, but women understand acts of love rather than just sex. If/when you say "I love you", do you say it with meaning? Does she know why you love her? Or do you assume she knows the reason and go about your day?
Do you work to rekindle the early times of your relationship by re-introducing things that made you stand out from the other men in her life? If you do, are the actions performed just because you love her or because you want to have sex? (Women can pick up on ulterior motives faster than a politician looking for campaign contributions.)
Consider your attitude first and you might find that you can improve things without pointing a finger or two of blame in her direction. She probably feels the heat/pressure coming from you, resulting in an even greater need to push away.
The fact of the matter is, "anywhere" and "everywhere" was fine before and now for some reason it's not. And various positions were fine before and now this or that position hurts and missionary is kind of the only acceptable position now. It's like the sex/love trap. Get a man then change into a prude. ..
Like I said, the men take something that was probably originally supposed to be fun & experimental and then degrade the entire situation to the level of a 'sexual ATM' where they have no respect for the woman it's just all about 'lets get this w*ore in any position, in any place we can get her in." Now I'm going off of what I seen where men no longer respect the woman as well as what I'm guessing these women are thinking in those kind of situations. Anyways, it probably becomes all about how often she is putting out and nothing else. This becomes the MAIN concern. It doesn't make any woman that I've known of feel good at all. I can clearly see why she begins to put limits on the sexual activity and it has nothing to do with 'pulling the wool over his eyes.'
Others may have said this, but it sounds like she is looking for other demonstrations of love. Women speak different languages when it comes to love. Sex is the man's primary language, but women understand acts of love rather than just sex. If/when you say "I love you", do you say it with meaning? Does she know why you love her? Or do you assume she knows the reason and go about your day?
Do you work to rekindle the early times of your relationship by re-introducing things that made you stand out from the other men in her life? If you do, are the actions performed just because you love her or because you want to have sex? (Women can pick up on ulterior motives faster than a politician looking for campaign contributions.)
Consider your attitude first and you might find that you can improve things without pointing a finger or two of blame in her direction. She probably feels the heat/pressure coming from you, resulting in an even greater need to push away.
Just a thought...
--Dim
You're not wrong here, but since the OP is a gay man the dynamic isn't the same.
You're not wrong here, but since the OP is a gay man the dynamic isn't the same.
Oh, in that case thats a completely different dynamic. Op said in the opening post, something about no longer being treated like a lady, so I think alot of people, myself included, were confused.
Oh, in that case thats a completely different dynamic. Op said in the opening post, something about no longer being treated like a lady, so I think alot of people, myself included, were confused.
The OP was simply trying to make the question gender-neutral by saying "he or she" and "gentleman or lady".
I think a likely reason for the diminished interest in sexual play is one not mentioned yet (that I noticed), which is that she really never had any strong sexual drive in the first place, but simply pretended to in the early stages to attract and keep the guy.
I'm reminded of a cartoon drawing I saw a long time ago of a man and a woman walking down the wedding aisle. The man was thinking "after I say I Do, I get to have sex any time I want for the rest of my life" and the woman is thinking "after I say I Do, I don't have to have sex ever again".
Women are funny that way. Initially it's all over the house and then gradually the conservatism creeps in. One of the first to go is the oral, then the high heels and garters are replaced with headache excuses. Not saying they are no longer interested in doing those man-pleasing types of things...they just don't want to do them with you anymore. Best policy is to detach, show no interest in sex whatsoever, hit the couch for awhile. They may react and realize they've turned cold and correct it, but it's doubtful because at that stage you've probably lost them anyhow....just set her free.
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