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So I've been dating some guy for 2 months, we're getting alone pretty well, he asked me to be his gf which I said yes.
So he got a party invitation from his relative for thanksgiving, he invited me to go with him so I can meet his relatives. The party is in southern ca so we have to fly and get a hotel while stay there.
Here's the delima, in my past dating experience, the guys who do the ask always pay. But this guy is a phd student in his 40's....I feel like I should offer to split the bill since he only does part time job. But on the other hand, I feel weird about paying....i swear I'm not being cheap.
when in doubt split the bill. its the only fair option to all involved
personally, i would have payed if i asked a gf to MY family function....but like i stated there is a middle ground if you cant come to a shared decision
Is he courting you or just wants to be friends? He pays to win your hand. Don't cheapen your relationship. Let him be the man if you want him to be your husband someday. My hubby never asked me to pay for a thing when we were dating and we dated for 3 years. If he doesn't have the money then don't do expensive things. You only pay for your gifts for him.
Is he courting you or just wants to be friends? He pays to win your hand. Don't cheapen your relationship. Let him be the man if you want him to be your husband someday. My hubby never asked me to pay for a thing when we were dating and we dated for 3 years. If he doesn't have the money then don't do expensive things. You only pay for your gifts for him.
That's exactly how I feel weird about paying....I wouldnt mind buying hin expensive gift.....but splitting the bill while he asked me to meet his relatives....just don't feel good.
He doesn't want just be friends, he's taking me there as his gf.
He asked if I wanted to go, after I said ok he started saying how expensive the hotel is.....just makes me uncomfortable...I know he's a phd student and don't have tons money.....he shouldn't have asked in the first place....
You should def pay. its the right thing to do.
Everyone has different concepts on gender roles though..make sure youre both on the same boat and he realizs hes dating a girl who expects the guy to pay. Dont just pull this **** out from nowhere..
That's exactly how I feel weird about paying....I wouldnt mind buying hin expensive gift.....but splitting the bill while he asked me to meet his relatives....just don't feel good.
He doesn't want just be friends, he's taking me there as his gf.
He asked if I wanted to go, after I said ok he started saying how expensive the hotel is.....just makes me uncomfortable...I know he's a phd student and don't have tons money.....he shouldn't have asked in the first place....
Honestly, I don't know why this is such a dilemma if the money isn't an issue for you. This isn't about "cheapening" the relationship - it's about common decency. If you know you can afford it and it would be a stretch for him and you CARE about him and want to have a long-term relationship with him, then you step up. Or are you one of those women who think men are providers and the money you make is "yours"?
Where I think things are weird in this scenario is that you're taking a flight to meet his parents after only 2 months of dating. This seems very very rushed, and that's where I see red flags.
The guy I'm dating and I split it every single time. Occasionally he will pick it up or I will pick it up, occasionally I will. We make the same amount of money so why not?
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