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I am the epitome of someone who is socially awkward and naturally a loner and I never had any trouble finding a date or getting a relationship . I am now married but never struggled to find someone.
Perhaps it is because I tend to be fairly independent and always knew what would work for me and what wouldn't. I was always prepared to be alone and quite happy to be so though it never really happened since my teens.
Basically I am more fussy and more suspicious, a lot more cynical in many ways than other people and I was always wary which weeds out a lot of people which to me would have been unsuitable.
I need to know someone and trust them before anything will happen emotionally and physically and I believe it has helped me in my choices of relationships .
I have been really lucky and all the guys I dated were good, decent and sweet guys but some of it was due to narrowing my choices quite drastically which suited me fine.
A bad boy was never going to be for me, a social animal , someone who loved nightclubs, drinking, partying etc.... My most erogenous zone has always been my brains and I have only seeked men who could challenge me, interest and excite my intellect as well as men I would find attractive ( attractive to me that is !). If you don't engage my brains the rest of my body is most certainly not going to be interested.
I would rather read a good book or spend my time alone thinking. And be quite happy to. There is more to life than being liked, or being with others simply for the sake of it.
Being a loner obviously does narrow your pool quite substantially but I don't think that is necessarily a bad thing. Also I think if you are not bothered, or desperate men do respond to that. I think men also liked the fact that I was not an easy "prey" and that I never cared about the size of their wallet or their gleaming sportscar....
And though I am outwardly very feminine I think the men who have responded to me have liked the fact that I am a bit more independent ,quiet,a little more brooding and that I hate shopping, have no interest in fashion,girly stuff , babies,or the kind of thing they stereotype women to be like.
There are a lot of fascinating, exciting, interesting people but not always in the places people look for them IMO.
I have never been dumped, never had a bad relationship really I suspect because I need to have a certain real inner sense of longer lasting potential for me to throw myself into anything.
I believe that people focus way too much on finding that "perfect" someone when to me life is about trying to make the best of everyday and try to enjoy the ride without feeling let down if you are on your own. I also believe that friendship is the strongest foundation for any successful relationship. Whether short term or long term.
In my experience Loners and Anti Social people tend to be a lot less gragarious obviously but in a way far more focussed on more serious and deeper relationships. We don't befriend easily but when we do we are loyal as hell.
I need to really LIKE someone before I can LOVE them and I genuinely think a lot of people often disregard this aspect of life. I don't give anything away , it takes me a while to be tamed and people who can handle this tend to be keepers whether in friendship or love.
Our Pond ( loners, anti social, awkard people etc...) is a lot smaller but the water in my opinion can be a lot clearer and sweeter to live in !
Obviously not everyone is like this but I most certainly have no complaints with my success in the dating world.
Not socially retarded, but like, less social people, workaholics, loners, and introverts.
Does love suck more for them?
Do they find it harder to meet people?
Harder to attract people? Do they date a lot less?
When they get rejected, does it take them way longer to get over somebody than somebody more social?
I think it's scalar. Meaning that, if there were 2 endpoints representing extreme ease and extreme difficulty, they would place OFF the extreme ease difficulty, on almost all of those questions you ask. That said, the people who are less sociable or introverted still find love and dates, but many types of people are easily excluded from that possible pool. I know I talk about what seems like a lot of people on here but, in reality, a limited group of people I've known make for an extensive amount of material. The CAP I disliked in Atlanta had our mutual feminist "friend," who I've also mentioned, say in her defense "she's a Southern woman; she wants a corporate guy so she can entertain," in concert with her previous sorority life. As far as having people at my place, I prefer it limited to 1,2,3, or 4, with the 4 being a couple with 2 kids, still the worst of all those combinations. I like people, just not THAT much, or who make THAT much noise, so entertaining is out of the question for me. You will need to stay away from these types.
Last edited by robertpolyglot; 10-27-2012 at 10:47 AM..
assuming YOUR social life is healthy and YOU'RE not a loner or introvert etc, why would you ask about this? not that its a bad thing per se, but your phrasing "does love suck for them?" just drips of contempt, and why do you care about those who may socialize less?. as long as you yourself are socializing well, why care?
if somebody asked me that using the word 'suck" you can best believe i would use that word in some way in retaliation
I don't think so, based on the guys I've gone out with. Unless an introvert just hides at home all the time, he/she is bound to interact with other people and connect with other introverts. I believe introverted people may have good chances at long-lasting relationships, because the smaller your social circle is, the more carefully you may protect the relationships you do have. That's how I am, at least. I don't mean to say that extroverted people don't have good relationships and don't protect them too!
Nope, I was extremely shy and an introvert for much of my younger years, I was never without a boyfriend or something of that nature. But then, someone in every crowd of people were always drawn to me, so always had a friend/s that drew me into whatever circle existed. But, as I've gotten older and the ease of making new friends hasn't I decided I didn't like sitting home alone, so, put my big girl panties on and became more social just put myself out there in the mix. Doesn't always go over well, people don't know what to do with me sometimes, I seem to be just that different. Not gonna go with the flow if I don't agree, won't care if I stand alone in the end. Still some person/s always takes to me without my effort and others, I'm just a really bad taste in their mouth, a thorn in their side, I could go on, but I have a Halloween costume to start prepped my body to squeeze into. Involves whips and chains oh my. It's gonna hurt me more than anyones else with these extra pounds trying to zip up this bratwurst body into Italian casing.
Happy haunting for those that will be out enjoying the festivities tonight.
OOPS!Oh wait, the topic was about love, forgot, never mind.
No don't have a difficult time rebounding, there was always a next, not always another love, but great friends, new guy, and time well spent to keep me from sulking too long.
Last edited by TRosa; 10-27-2012 at 02:14 PM..
Reason: OOPSIE!
Not socially retarded, but like, less social people, workaholics, loners, and introverts.
Does love suck more for them?
Do they find it harder to meet people?
Harder to attract people? Do they date a lot less?
When they get rejected, does it take them way longer to get over somebody than somebody more social?
I wouldn't say any of that has to do with love, but I get what you're asking.
I do find it harder. The problem for introverts and shy guys like myself is that we often have a harder time opening up to people. Put us into a world where most folks seem to be extroverts, and you have a good combo for finding it tough to meet that right person. I have friends of all kinds of personalities, but I find the folks I can connect with the most have at least some introversion in them. They're the types who wouldn't think twice about eating at a restaurant alone, or staying in watching TV instead of going to the club because they just wanna recharge for a night.
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It's gonna hurt me more than anyones else with these extra pounds trying to zip up this bratwurst body into Italian casing. 
