How to approach women in the bar/club (kids, social, beautiful)

[jasper12]

But...in this thread several times the OP stated he had a "buzz", or was drunk. And falling in a puddle of beer?

Nothing is less attractive than a guy who drinks too much. They are lousy in bed, and too much drama for a relationship.

I suggest you stick to drinking Sprite. Maybe you are nervous about meeting women...but being trashed is not the way to meeting a nice girl for a real relationship...

[Mandate_of_Heaven]

Originally Posted by CaptainJack87

You have a few options at this point:

1) Try to befriend the friend (this may or may not work....but I've found that trying to hook the friend up with
a guy works really well).
2) Go up to the girl later. Girls have very short memories. It's possible that the friend won't even remember
you in a half hour.
3) Just move on.

It's not a huge deal. It's a fairly common occurrence. Just have to learn how to get through it.

This is hard, I view people like that as negative and jealous...why would I introduce her to one of my friends? it's kinda like i can't get anyone so you can't have anyone either..isn't that messed up?

Originally Posted by CaptainJack87

That's the spirit! I like that you're being proactive and trying new things....as opposed to whining all over this board like most of the guys do.

Befriending the bartenders (especially the hot female ones) are always a good thing. Tip them a little extra too. They always know about the guestlists and the best new places opening up. Also, go to that same bartender next time you go to that place. Flirt with her. Bartenders go out too. If you build a friendship with her and see her out, she'll introduce her to your friends OR she'll get with you herself (once she becomes single). Look at it as a long-term project.

But good work, man. Don't get down on yourself if it's a fake number. Just get out there and get more!

Thanks for the encouragement, it was a definitely a challenge! lol. I did flirt with her probably alot haha, if she was single I would have definitely gotten her number and asked her out later. That is a good idea though..i didn't think about her friends..and if it is a fake number, I wouldn't be surprised..tbh, she seems like a flake, she seemed kinda nervous..idk..

Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth

^^^

Great news, OP! Way to go!
I can relate to the "not good at dancing" thing the girl had going. I have very eclectic taste in music, and I simply cannot move to a lot of music. So basically, the girl had to get out on the floor and fake it. That's very uncomfortable. But now you can talk to her and find out what she likes to do, and do something that's not dancing, lol! Good luck. That wasn't so scary, was it?

s

Hey, thanks for the words of encouragement. I really wish she would have given me a chance. I started moving and she was just like ...what do i do? And im like really? ok... and it wasn't so scary, i felt very confident but i need to work on my dancing.

Originally Posted by howdydoody342

i agree, girls dont swoon over Channing Tatum because of his energy. Looks do matter but not as much as other things, but to say they dont matter is a lie.

To the OP, i'd be interested to see if the girl responds when u text her considering her friend gave a number and not the girl. Either way keep pushing forward

I would be interested as well, but hey if she doesn't then thats on her. I mean i'm just looking for friends right now, not a booty call, but whatever happens happens.

Originally Posted by jasper12

But...in this thread several times the OP stated he had a "buzz", or was drunk. And falling in a puddle of beer?

Nothing is less attractive than a guy who drinks too much. They are lousy in bed, and too much drama for a relationship.

I suggest you stick to drinking Sprite. Maybe you are nervous about meeting women...but being trashed is not the way to meeting a nice girl for a real relationship...

I was a little buzzed but this was the first time I had ever fallen down. there was a fight or something on the stairs and it involved a beer or two so there was beer on the steps. No one warned me or anything i just slipped, and i was even using the stair railing..the sucky thing was the cute bartender saw and she told me later on facebook she laughed. How embarrasssing lol

[Mandate_of_Heaven]

omg, i sincerely hate everyone where i live. They have got to be the most uncouth, rude, vile, despicable, close-minded people here and unfortunately I am stuck here.

It just seems for every step forward that I take, I get shoved two steps back. I was on a good high, but the level of negativity in my area and with the people here is just astonishing. I am honestly sick of it. I decided to facebook someone new in that you know a friend area. They accepted me, ok done deal. So I message them the next day and say hey thanks for the add btw i just moved back here last year and I was wondering do you go to XYZ university. Well guess what happened?

I got deleted! I was like wtf? really? you couldn't even say who is this? or how do you know me? So close minded and closed off!! I hate it! So then I sent her a message telling her that was incredibly rude and nothing but I know she saw it. I mean really, why do people act like this?? I know it seems like I am reacting over nothing, but situations like this happen ALL THE TIME.

[Ruth4Truth]

Uh...this sure was a change of mood ^^ ! Did you try to facebook one of the women you met last night, or was this someone else? If someone else, who cares? It's just facebook. Did you not explain how you knew her when you asked to be friended? That would have been a good idea. Chalk it up to experience. Don't let it blow your high.

btw, just wondering--what food/drink service establishment allows a hazard (spilled beer) to remain in place and cause them a lawsuit risk? What, they don't have a mop? They don't have a staff person for clean-ups? Is this normal for bars?

[Mandate_of_Heaven]

I have unfortunately have my mood swings..this has been building up and I am afraid that the only way it will go away is if I leave the area, but right now I can't. The person was someone new and yes I told them how i found them and everything..i guess you are right, i shouldn't let it get the best of me

Idk if it's normal for bars, but everything in this area is low low class. We get convicted felons that move here to work in the refineries so that should tell u something. There were no wet floor signs and no one warned me before i went down the stairs.

[Ruth4Truth]

Originally Posted by Mandate_of_Heaven

I have unfortunately have my mood swings..this has been building up and I am afraid that the only way it will go away is if I leave the area, but right now I can't. The person was someone new and yes I told them how i found them and everything..i guess you are right, i shouldn't let it get the best of me

Idk if it's normal for bars, but everything in this area is low low class. We get convicted felons that move here to work in the refineries so that should tell u something. There were no wet floor signs and no one warned me before i went down the stairs.

Like I said, a lawsuit waiting to happen.

So...you live in a low low class area, but you met some nice women at the bar? How does that work?

I don't think you should get upset about a stranger de-friending you on facebook. You know nothing about her.

You're starting to sound like Frog. He lives in some awful place where the only entertainment is gambling, and he says there's a lot of substance abuse. How come we didn't hear about this when you were all excited (and a little nervous) about going out? What are these mood swings about--bipolar, possibly? This is an unexpected turn, that's all. Just curious.

[UnexpectedError]

Getting deleted from Facebook is an oddly powerful sting, but we must stay reasonable and realize that it really doesn't mean much.

I suggest chatting up a girl at the bar, getting to know her a little but, then bringing up some sort of activity you like doing. Rock climbing, hiking, sailing, walking through the park, going to see a band, whatever. Find something that makes her so "Oh, that sounds like fun, I love doing that/I've always wanted to try that." That's your in, invite her along. It's an instant no pressure date and shows you're not trying to bed her. She also has an easy way to get out, by saying she's busy, and if she's really busy then hopefully she'll say something like "but maybe next time" or "but how about coffee?" etc.

[Ruth4Truth]

Great idea! ^^
Getting deleted from fb would be a sting only if you've been one someone's page awhile. But this was a recent add. Like, within more or less 24 hours, suddenly she changed her mind. I would just shrug something like that off.

[Mandate_of_Heaven]

Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth

Like I said, a lawsuit waiting to happen.

So...you live in a low low class area, but you met some nice women at the bar? How does that work?

I don't think you should get upset about a stranger de-friending you on facebook. You know nothing about her.

You're starting to sound like Frog. He lives in some awful place where the only entertainment is gambling, and he says there's a lot of substance abuse. How come we didn't hear about this when you were all excited (and a little nervous) about going out? What are these mood swings about--bipolar, possibly? This is an unexpected turn, that's all. Just curious.

I don't know her yet, for all I know she could be a psycho. I am just trying to stay positive. Of course, I didn't say anything at first. I mean if I would have said that and told you guys hey this place sucks then it would have gotten me down and I wouldn't have wanted to go out. My mood swings are just that, mood swings, just years of frustration. I know the system here, its just retarded and stupid. There is NO reason why a city of 118k should be cliquish and close minded. A buddy of mine recently told me that A&M has more stuff to do and they are less than have the size and we have a university too! I just wish I had a way to meet people besides the bar..maybe ill find something lol

Originally Posted by UnexpectedError

Getting deleted from Facebook is an oddly powerful sting, but we must stay reasonable and realize that it really doesn't mean much.

I suggest chatting up a girl at the bar, getting to know her a little but, then bringing up some sort of activity you like doing. Rock climbing, hiking, sailing, walking through the park, going to see a band, whatever. Find something that makes her so "Oh, that sounds like fun, I love doing that/I've always wanted to try that." That's your in, invite her along. It's an instant no pressure date and shows you're not trying to bed her. She also has an easy way to get out, by saying she's busy, and if she's really busy then hopefully she'll say something like "but maybe next time" or "but how about coffee?" etc.

Yeah I guess you are right, I dont really know her anyway. I have to realize that people don't always react the way that I want them to. I think that I am nice so you should nice which really doesn't apply in all situations. I will probably text this new person tomorrow or tuesday, and your suggestions sound like a great idea.

[Prince_Frog]

Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth

Great idea! ^^
Getting deleted from fb would be a sting only if you've been one someone's page awhile. But this was a recent add. Like, within more or less 24 hours, suddenly she changed her mind. I would just shrug something like that off.

I've been deleted 3 times since I've had FB. 2 of them were just simple "I don't know you very well." and that's not a big deal. One of those deleters sent me a private message that said she only keeps phyisically attractive people on her FB because she's a photographer and only takes pictures of beautiful people. She called me some other words too, but she changed from HS, which I used to know her really well.