Gay men hitting on straight guys as women never look his way (attracted, young)
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I'm a straight guy and never really have luck with women. I've been told I'm funny, a good guy, and attractive, yet women seem to always look past me which is confusing to me. However I always seem to get these gay guys hitting on me and a some that have had a crush on me. Never been crushed on by a woman as far as I am aware of.
Why do you think this happens to me? Anyone else been through a similar experience?
It's really difficult to say without seeing you around people, but I suspect your not giving off as much of an "approachable" vibe to women to really get them to open up and be comfortable with you.
In general gay men are direct with their intentions. They approach and flirt with men much more than straight women do.
I went to a gay club once because one of our friends is gay. It was crazy how forward these guys were. Not the typical direct comment "Hey sexy how are you?" It was more like "You need to go to the bathroom NOW, let's go".
The guys are hitting on you because you are "hot"!
Women will not hit on you, but they do "flirt" and will "open up" to you. It is subtle. With women it is like there is a closed door...
For you, if you try to open the door, you will find that it is unlocked and you can enter. For other men they are not interested in, they will find the door is "locked" should they try to "open" it (ask for a date).
So same as you are probably doing to the men who are hitting on you. They try to "open your door", but you have it "locked".
You need to be the one "hitting" on the women! Try some of the lines the guys are using on you...
Also I don't know if you can make yourself look ugly or look totally revolting. Maybe get "nerd" glasses and an ugly looking wig. Wear smelly torn clothes and look like a bum. Then go to a bar or to stores and go to checkout lines with young women cashiers. You will suddenly see how "different" the women treat you! When they act that way, that means they are not interested in the least. Again this is subtle.
Yes signs...
Smile at you.
Ask you what time it is.
Flirt with you.
Basically pay attention to you.
No signs...
Not look at you.
Not smile.
Ignore you.
Basically act as though you are not there.
I am gay, so I can comment from a gay perspective.
If you are youthful looking, small of stature, or youthful looking and work out, well dressed and groomed, you may be setting off the alarms of every gay and closeted man around. Women may sense this and think you are playing for the other team. I have a good friend like this -- swears he is straight, but gets hit on by all my gay friends. He is in his mid twenties but looks like he is barely legal, short, and works out. ALL systems go for some gay men. Women treat him like their kid brother.
My suggestion is to sincerely evaluate your look, mannerisms and approach. Some people send confusing signals and no one likes to get rejected. Also, if there are lots of gay men where you are, you may want to reconsider your going out venues. We like to be around others who will typically be available, and therefore certain clubs and bars are much more gay friendly than others.
Thanks a lot for the replies! I was actually heading out the door, and wanted to check out some of these threads on here and I see some people were nice enough to comment, thanks! I'll be back to reply when I get back on.
Actually I've taken women to gay bars and they REALLY LIKE all the guys there! Say how good looking they all are, "What a waste", "Never seen so many good looking guys in one bar", etc.
So in my opinion, being attractive to gay men can also mean being very attractive to women - at least the women I have known.
Also many gay men are more attracted to "straight acting" men. Check out the posts on craigslist.org personals...
Some great points made in this thread, all are pretty spot on in my experiences of being a straight guy who gets hit on a lot by gay men and having a gay guy as a good friend.
They say if you're getting hit on by gay men, it's a sign that you're really attractive. Don't know how true that is, but hey, I'll take the compliment
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