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Um, for the record, I know quite a few people who don't like to travel. They're not narrow-minded or uneducated - they just don't like the hassle and the stress. Prying my best friend out of a 20-mile radius around our hometown happens about once a year.
Having seen many profiles where the guy lists off the countries he's been to and the ones he still wants to visit, I think saying you like to travel is a pretty pertinent item.
You totally missed the point of my original post. I'm critiquing the writing of the people who write these dating profiles, not their lifestyles.
In other words, instead of writing that they "enjoy traveling" and just leaving it at that, profile writers should put in the effort to stand out and make things a bit more interesting.
People now approach online dating like consumers. They "shop" for a date the same way they shop for a car. If you can't give them the deal they want then they move to the next sale. If after a long period they still can't get everything they want they become bitter and THAT is why so many profiles online come off as arrogant and angry.
Basically online dating makes the "responder" into a commodity that can be thrown away with a simple click of the mouse or tap and the screen.
I was skimming through the old Plenty Of Fish dating site last night,and came across so many girls who at one point in thier profile or headline said that they ignore guys that do not read their profile or they are tired of guys not reading their profile info. So, after finally getting tired of hearing that I decided to randomly message the next girl who had this on her headline and just tried to give her a little insight into why I can understand the guys who do this to her and other girls.
I thought about starting to do the same thing because it seems to be a waste of time trying to communicate with some of these girls after spending that 3 minutes reading the details of their profile and then mentioning some things or questioning some things they said as you send your first greeting message. Usually they will just answer your question and never respond saying anything about your profile or asking your opinion on their profile...
For instance, One time I sent a greeting to this girl introducing her with my name, a little background on myself, and a little joke to lighten the mood, then I would ask like a couple things about what I read on her profile and then a totally different question, then tell her I hope she has a great day and hope to hear from her. Well in this case I asked the girl what she thought of the new city she was now living in and how did she miss living in her old city. Well she said I like it hear, I like this bar near my new house. Then she said she misses her city, but is making the best of her new home. Then I asked her about the bar she liked up here and she told me where it was and that she liked playing darts there. After that she didn't say anything else, so I didn't say anything else either because she didn't ask me one question or say anything about what my profile had in it. She told me I was cute in the first message, but that was it. So, after the efforts at getting to know her I just gave up because I felt she lacked communication skills and I was tired of trying because I had sent 5 other girls the same kind of questions and they responded selfishly as well.
So, here is the message I sent to this girl today about why I think guys don't read girl's profiles too much...(It's too much work in my own experience, but I still keep trying)...I think lots of guys just gave up on putting too much effort into it, what do you think? What do you think of the message/explanation I sent this girl?
HERE'S THE MESSAGE:
"I read your profile and get what you're saying, but I'll tell you why guys don't spend time reading the profile. At least from my experience this is how it goes down. I always took time to read peoples' profiles and have sent many messages to girls on here. In my greeting message I will introduce myself, then talk about or ask about some things I saw in that person's profile and then ask an additional question of my own then give a polite ending. After all this, most girls will answer the question or questions and tell me what they think or about themselves, but that will be it. No question in return or no asking us what we think about the same things, so at this point I realize either this person cannot communicate or is just not interested, so I move on. This is one reason why lots of guys don't take time or put effort in because we spend too much time and energy and find out people won't make the same effort as in most cases you ladies have lots of little messages and options to choose from. I personally am not trying to spend time competing with other dudes, so if a woman does not make an effort to care about my profile after me reading and responding to hers then why waste anymore of my time right? This is why guys just ask about things u already wrote before even reading it, either that or they are the types that just want sex." - Me to some random girl on POF
I can't tell ... was this woman the one from before who wasn't very responsive to your questions, or did you decide to lecture "some random girl" without knowing whether she was like that or not? If it's the latter, maybe she would have been interested in you, but now you will never know.
Unfortunately my experience with online dating has made me bitter because of the men who responded who didn't fit what I desired while the men I did ignored me. <snip>
When you re-read this sentence on its own, does it teach you anything? For sure, most bitter online daters are bitter for the exact same reasons as you. What can you learn from this?
I can't tell ... was this woman the one from before who wasn't very responsive to your questions, or did you decide to lecture "some random girl" without knowing whether she was like that or not? If it's the latter, maybe she would have been interested in you, but now you will never know.
My response to his message would have been, "Well, I'm glad you did actually read my profile, but you'll have to excuse me because I have to go to the emergency room, so greatly does my heart bleed for you."
I mean, Rob, you have to know that such a message is going to be seen as overly analytic whining at best, condescending and off the mark at worst. Come on, we all know that most men who don't read profiles are really just responding to pictures. Men are visual: They see someone they think is pretty, so they contact her. It's just not that complex for most of them. I mentioned in another thread that I stopped doing online dating because whenever I logged in, I found myself thinking, "Oh, gawd, who is going to point and grunt at me today?"
At any rate, chances are very high that the person who received your message reacted like this: . It's just entirely too much.
When you re-read this sentence on its own, does it teach you anything? For sure, most bitter online daters are bitter for the exact same reasons as you. What can you learn from this?
If you do not read my profile which specifically states what I am looking for and you contact me anyway not fitting anywhere near what I am looking for you simply do not get a response or if you do, it will be "lovely"
Yet both sexes look at the picture first THEN if they think said person is attractive then they read the profile. I don't see why people get upset over this to be honest.
I think the women in general don't really pay attention or put in the work necessary for a dating site
Does it get better as you get older? Do women finally realize that while men are falling over themselves to date/sleep with them, that a good man is actually hard to find?
and anyway, for the record, everyone likes ot have fun. It's semantically impossible not to. So that's a retarded statement.
If you do not read my profile which specifically states what I am looking for and you contact me anyway not fitting anywhere near what I am looking for you simply do not get a response or if you do, it will be "lovely"
Is dating getting better for either of you as you continue to age, remain single, yet still insist that you are OK to have your demands pon men but dismiss their demands upon women?
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. It's just entirely too much.
