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I've been pretty down lately so I figured I'd attempt to get some online advice. Though after reading other threads on here I have already cheered up quite a bit, because life could be much, much worse. Anyways..
A bit about me. I'm 22 and a full time college student. Although I have dealt with confidence and anxiety in social situations since high school (I am slowly overcoming these not-so-great attributes), I am not totally inexperienced in that I do go on dates and I have had sexual relations.. I didn't lose my virginity until I was 21 though and have only had sex with one other girl since( I have done oral with a few others).
So here is kind my dilemma, if you will. I keep having these flings with girls I like deeply. I can't seem to make any of them last longer than a month. I could care less about sex, I just want to be close to someone. I bet many of you are thinking this is where I go wrong. But I don't believe I make this evident to the women because I don't think I portray myself as needy or attached.
So about after a month I keep getting the excuse "I don't want a relationship right now". Fine, fair enough. but I have got this excuse 4 times with the last 4 girls I have had something with. Now, granted, It must have been true for the first one because I found out later she was with multiple men while she was with me haha. But she was the one that whipped my penis within a day or two so I should have known that she just wanted to have some fun. But the last 2 or three girls, and especially the most recent one have been so much different. She's quiet and not at all permiscuous. I didn't have sex with her for like 3 weeks and we were hanging out quite a bit. We had a great time just enjoying each others company and going out on dates and laughing and messing around in bed all day without going all the way. Yes I am very inexperienced in bed still, and I kind of think this is part of it, but it doesnt seem to be the problem because she seems fine with me only lasting like 5 minutes or so haha... Things only end once the issue of a relationship arises. I asked the recent girl "where we stood" because she was about to leave for the winter break" and that was the end of that.
So I would be fine with not calling it a relationship and continuing just to have some fun, but after this topic arises the girls never hang out with me again..... So I have to believe it's something I am doing and not just how most college women my age are..
Ladies, any advice? Men feel free to chime in too. Thanks.
I've been pretty down lately so I figured I'd attempt to get some online advice. Though after reading other threads on here I have already cheered up quite a bit, because life could be much, much worse. Anyways..
A bit about me. I'm 22 and a full time college student. Although I have dealt with confidence and anxiety in social situations since high school (I am slowly overcoming these not-so-great attributes), I am not totally inexperienced in that I do go on dates and I have had sexual relations.. I didn't lose my virginity until I was 21 though and have only had sex with one other girl since( I have done oral with a few others).
So here is kind my dilemma, if you will. I keep having these flings with girls I like deeply. I can't seem to make any of them last longer than a month. I could care less about sex, I just want to be close to someone. I bet many of you are thinking this is where I go wrong. But I don't believe I make this evident to the women because I don't think I portray myself as needy or attached.
So about after a month I keep getting the excuse "I don't want a relationship right now". Fine, fair enough. but I have got this excuse 4 times with the last 4 girls I have had something with. Now, granted, It must have been true for the first one because I found out later she was with multiple men while she was with me haha. But she was the one that whipped my penis within a day or two so I should have known that she just wanted to have some fun. But the last 2 or three girls, and especially the most recent one have been so much different. She's quiet and not at all permiscuous. I didn't have sex with her for like 3 weeks and we were hanging out quite a bit. We had a great time just enjoying each others company and going out on dates and laughing and messing around in bed all day without going all the way. Yes I am very inexperienced in bed still, and I kind of think this is part of it, but it doesnt seem to be the problem because she seems fine with me only lasting like 5 minutes or so haha... Things only end once the issue of a relationship arises. I asked the recent girl "where we stood" because she was about to leave for the winter break" and that was the end of that.
So I would be fine with not calling it a relationship and continuing just to have some fun, but after this topic arises the girls never hang out with me again..... So I have to believe it's something I am doing and not just how most college women my age are..
Ladies, any advice? Men feel free to chime in too. Thanks.
It sounds like you were getting to whiny about it. That's an instant attraction killer.
Guys shouldn't be asking where the relationship stands. That's a chick thing to say. It sounds VERY needy and validation seeking coming from a guy.
Next time, have fun with it. Smile, look her dead in the eyes, and say "I want to be exclusive." It'll work.
holy crap you guys are fast.Thanks so much. So just leave the topic alone even if they never bring it up? It is kind of hard not knowing where you stand with someone you really care about; but I guess that comes with experience?
holy crap you guys are fast.Thanks so much. So just leave the topic alone even if they never bring it up? It is kind of hard not knowing where you stand with someone you really care about; but I guess that comes from experience?
You should know where you stand. You're the man. You lead the interaction and the relationship.
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