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Two only of note only.
1) I ended it with the to-date love of my life simply because he couldn't be trusted to make good decisions if I wasn't there to make them for him. I'm not a control freak, so that really didn't turn me on. He treated me wonderfully, but he just couldn't be the man I needed him to be if we were going to be lifelong partners. We talked about giving it another try later, but in the end I couldn't forgive him for not being the father his son (who would have been my stepson) needed him to be. I still love him dearly in a weird way, but it's really gratitude for what he did for me while we were together than out of any desire for us to be reunited. We don't talk, and I'm happy to check in on his FB once a year just to make sure he's happy (he seems to be).
2) I ended it because we had been together 14 months and he hadn't told me he loved me. We'd known each other for 5 years before that. I figured if he didn't know by then, he must not love me. Interestingly, it turns out he DID love me in his own bizarre way. But he would never have told me that because he would have seen it as ceding to much power to me. He always wanted to have an edge over me. Either way, I'm much better off with it over!
Another guy broke up with me because he found someone else he was more compatible with. He didn't cheat, just realized this other chick was a better fit. I didn't blame him - she was indeed better suited to him than I was.
After dating for almost 5 years, he wanted to get married right away and start having kids... I wanted to wait at least another 3-5 years, so he broke up with me.
The guy before that broke up with me before going away to college. We had both been going to community college and he told me that he wanted to move to Utah to go to school and "find a Mormon woman to marry". I did not know his family lived out there, and I didn't know he was Mormon. He told me of his big plans a week before he left.
We were a good little Christian boy and girl married right out of college. Twenty years and three sons into our marriage things were not awful, but cracks were showing, I had lost my faith, she and I were on completely different wavelengths when it came to sex. I was sure there must be something better out there, and I told her I was leaving. Twenty months into our separation, I still couldn't look myself in the mirror, so I begged my wife and sons to allow me back into their life. I courted her, wooed her, and she showed much grace in the very best Christian sense of the word and allowed me back into her life.
In the best (or worst) sense of "reaping what you sow," I discovered she had met a very nice Christian man at church during those 20 months. His involvement and influence on our relationship proved to be an insurmountable obstacle, and just a few months before our 24th anniversary, she asked me to leave.
1. Ended mutually because I was staying in our hometown to go to university and he wanted to travel the world. He's still my friend, and is on his 2nd marriage now - that was a 2 year relationship.
2. I ended another 1.5 year relationship due to cheating and a number of other factors I care not delve into.
3. Most recent relationship ended because of a lack of compatibility and differences in terms of what we wanted out of life. I guess you could say it 'ran it's course' and we both knew it had ended, but not on bad terms. - 3 years together, lived together for 2.
I've had a few other more minor relationships end for one reason or another in the meantime.
1. High all the time
2. Bisexual surprise
3. Faked a personality, was actually a blob inside
4. Criminal persuasion; later proven true
5. Gorgeous but too dumb, didn't read anything
6. Irresponsible with my money and possessions
7. Sexually incompetent but thought otherwise
8. Unstable; no realistic goals, hypercritical of mine
9. Moved cross-country for career without discussion
10. I wasn't the right religion
11. Thought I was too young
12. Moved in with secret lover; they met at job I arranged
13. Thought I needed to be 'madeover;' I didn't
14. Left for ashram in India for a year
15. Had 2 other lovers, both married; loved gambling too much
16. Career left no time for relationship with me
And people wonder why I have teeny tiny 'trust' issues.
Almost 30, only two actual relationships under my belt and both weren't great.
Oh, I forgot, the first one I mentioned stole my identity, opened a bunch of credit cards under my name and I'm still working on fixing my credit.
Hooray!
I don't feel so bad with three relationships at 33. And, I just don't NEED to always be with someone. Content being alone even when it gets lonely sometime. I like my alone time very much.
Are you avoiding men and relationships for the most part?
1. High all the time
2. Bisexual surprise
3. Faked a personality, was actually a blob inside
4. Criminal persuasion; later proven true
5. Gorgeous but too dumb, didn't read anything
6. Irresponsible with my money and possessions
7. Sexually incompetent but thought otherwise
8. Unstable; no realistic goals, hypercritical of mine
9. Moved cross-country for career without discussion
10. I wasn't the right religion
11. Thought I was too young
12. Moved in with secret lover; they met at job I arranged
13. Thought I needed to be 'madeover;' I didn't
14. Left for ashram in India for a year
15. Had 2 other lovers, both married; loved gambling too much
16. Career left no time for relationship with me
Holy cow! It took me nine years to read the list. Were some of these just short-term relationships?
or the reason why your partner ended it. I'm just curious about first hand real life answers, not statistics.
My first husband was a pilot with the military. He was also very Catholic. We split up because I did not want to be married to a pilot and I did not want to have children.
My second husband was a great guy with no ambition. I did not want to spend the rest of my life living below the poverty level and watch television non-stop from dawn to dusk. LOL He was a good man and a kind man but he had no desire to better himself in any way *ever*. (And he wasn't keen on mowing the grass either).
20yrsinBranson
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